There's probably a laundry list of things we wish guys would do more often. How many times have you sat around with your girlfriends talking about the guy you’re with and complaining that he doesn’t do a, b, or c?
This past weekend was definitely the case for my girlfriends. After cracking open a bottle of wine, and listening to my friends divulge their man struggles to me, I realized so many of my girlfriends and I have had the same exact complaints over the years. Low and behold, here are nine things we wish guys did more often.
The worst feeling is to try and be flirty with a dude, and he blatantly shuts you down. It just is such an unnecessary feeling of rejection. How a guy you’re dating/seeing/hooking up with/in a relationship with doesn’t want to have sexual banter still baffles me. All we want is a little playfulness, a little sexting, a little foreplay so the next time we see the guy, there’s a bit of built up sexual tension. Plus, it’s nice to have some spontaneous moments of getting hot and bothered during the day or night.
2 Take More Initiative
Researchers learned the average male thinks about sex 19 times a day, and the average female thinks about sex 10 times a day. That is not much of a difference. It seems to most girls that guys have this idea we only think about sex MAYBE once or twice a day. Well, we don’t. We understand it is definitely attractive to a guy for a girl to take initiative and jump his bones, and we are all for that, but we also expect men to make moves as well. When we crawl into bed with a guy, there’s an automatic presumption on our end that he is going to try and bang us. It’s also quite the turn on to know that you’re wanted, which in turn makes us girls want to do more for the guy. I can’t speak for all girls, but I can definitely say my girlfriends and I are in total agreement about the more sex initiative we receive from a guy, the more blow jobs he’ll wake up to. “Help us, help you”.
3 Be Sweet to Us
Being sweet to girls goes along way. Yes, we get that if men think they are dating us, or hanging out with us, or having sex with us, then of course we know they are attracted to us, yet it just isn’t enough for females. FYI, a lot of girls are insecure. Hearing a nice compliment goes a very long way. We wish men would just tell us we look pretty once in a while, give us a compliment in bed, say something genuine. Girls aren’t dumb. We know when guys feed us bullshit, and when guys actually mean what they are saying. We just pick and choose when to call you out on it. It is one of my biggest pet peeves to receive a text I know should sound sweet, but yet is insincere and gamey.
Ever hear, “chivalry is dead”? It would be nice if guys would bring it back to life. We don’t expect much. Even just opening a door, talking on the the phone, or making an actual plan to hang out instead of a random text, would be nice. We don't have high expectations. If you feel like surprising us at our door with flowers and chocolate, by no means are we going to stop you.
4 Give Us Space when We Ask for It
We all need our space from time to time. The worst thing guys do is cling on, when all you need is distance. Sometimes we need a break from life, from the guy we’re dating, or we’re just having a moment. Girl’s of course want a guy to inquire, because we want to see if he cares enough too, but we still want some alone time.
5 Date Night
When women say, “date night”, they aren’t saying, “fly me to Paris for dinner or wine in Tuscany”. Date night to us girls is just a little extra effort above Netflix and chilling. My girlfriend and her boyfriend have a standing date night on Friday’s where her bae makes a reservation at a different restaurant they’ve never tried. It works for them because they are huge foodies. Us girls just want to see a little effort, we don’t need anything extravagant. Plan a picnic, ask to cook us dinner or cook something together, take a hike, pick up a variety of wines and do a wine tasting at home, or play strip twister. The possibilities are endless.
6 Take an Interest
Look, there is a reason there’s a saying, “Women are from Mars, and Men are from Venus”. I am using this line here, even though it most definitely falls into multiple categories. A lot of the things women talk about, men are not interested in and vice versa. It feels good to be asked about yourself though. Whether it is with someone you are dating, an acquaintance, or a friend, taking an interest in a human being actually shows a lot of character. My girlfriends and I always ask someone how their day is going, inquire about work, even dig to the deep stuff when appropriate, and sometimes we don’t care about the response at all, but we still ask. We expect the same back. It just feels good.
This section pertains more towards people in a relationship. If we are someone’s girlfriend, we expect to be introduced as a girlfriend. If we take a trip together, we expect the guy we’re with to post the photo of us together, not crop one of us (the girl) out. Being validated means a lot to women. For some reason, a lot of guys don't get how shitty it feels to not be recognized as a partner, but it makes women feel like their man is ashamed of them. If a guy doesn’t want to be with us, then don’t be with us, and if he does, then show it.
8 Meet Our Friends
One of the best parts of dating someone is being involved in each other's lives. We love being able to hang out with a guy and his friends and meet new people. That way, he also doesn’t feel like he is missing out on activities that his friends are doing. Us girls aren’t asking the guy to come play tea party with us. We just need to see some type of effort. Even come out on the town for one night, play wingman, bring your friends. It doesn’t need to be a constant occurrence, but the few times will really go a long way.
If we enjoy each other’s company, going somewhere together shouldn’t be a farfetched idea. This doesn’t mean it needs to be to the ends of the earth for a month. It could be for a weekend getaway, or a one night spontaneous road trip adventure. Even just go camping in your own living room (if you haven’t built an epic fort, you are missing out). Guys seem to think that if you travel somewhere together it puts more pressure on whatever your situation is. Well, let me tell you, that’s not what girls are thinking. We just want to do something fun with the guy we like. Period.