Have you ever wondered how to tell if it's love or lust?
The thing about love is that you are never sure whether you are really experiencing the real deal or going through things you may confuse for love. It can be deceiving but with time you finally learn how to tell the difference and recognize the signs you're in lust. Looking back at your past relationships now, you can differentiate whether you were truly in love or just under the impression that you were. However to prevent any further confusion, here are some things you to help you learn how to tell if it's love or lust.
1 One-Sided Love: Don’t Settle Because You Are Comfortable
Loving or liking someone is an amazing feeling but having someone who loves you is even better. We all want to mean something to someone and have that certain someone who will choose you over anyone else, which is why we sometimes believe we like someone more than we actually do, since they care for us more. It’s the selfish side of human nature but that is often what happens since it's one of the top things you may confuse for love.
Frequently asked questions
2 Familiarity is Not the Same Feeling as True Love
Great familiarity and history with a person can cause you to believe that you are in love. You may be afraid to lose that person and therefore believe that the only way you can reassure their existence in your life is through romantic involvement. You are so used to having them as a constant in your life out of habit that your emotions get mixed up.
3 Physical Chemistry: Don’t Let the Lust Cloud Your Relationship Judgement
One of the most common things that are mistaken for love is physical chemistry. Many relationships have no substance and are solely based on the physical perks that come with the package. Usually these types of relationships die down rather quickly!
4 Friendship: Consider Whether This is More of a Friend Zone Situation
Close friendly ties can very often be confusing, especially when two people just got out of a relationship or are in a middle of going through something. This is when friends sometimes make the mistake of taking things farther than they ever would have, which can be very detrimental to the friendship they have built.
5 Fear of Being Lonely: Don’t Let It Make You Desperate
Loneliness is a big incentive to desperately find a connection with someone. As people, we fear of being alone so we try to find comfort and support from people in our proximity. So when loneliness becomes too strong, individuals often form relationships for the wrong reasons because they can't stand being alone and are afraid of abandonment.
6 Dependency: Don’t Settle Because You Think You Need to
Dependency can very often become something that is mistaken for love. When a person becomes a crucial part of your daily life and you depend on that person either financially or emotionally, you can very easily experience feelings that may actually not be there.
7 Responsibility: Taking Charge and Being Depended on is Not the Same as Love
Oftentimes people confuse the feeling of responsibility for love. They feel responsible for the happiness of that person or their well being in general, and therefore believe that what they are experiencing is love. Taking responsibility for someone is part of love but it's not the foundation of it or at least it shouldn't be.
8 Brief Moments of Affection do Not Equate to Love
If you have been starved of love for so long, you might end up equating brief moments of affection with the real deal. In times like this is can be easy to mistake somebody’s well meaning gestures as gestures of declaring love, so don’t be too hasty in reading the wrong signals.
10 Shared Interests Don’t Always = Soul Mates
So what if he is the only other person you have ever met who shares a love of some obscure 1970s TV show? All that means is that you share some pop culture interests. It does not mean that you are in love and are going to spend the rest of your lives together.
11 You Have an Obsession That Involves Very Little Interaction
A lot of women can often become besotted with a guy and create an entire backstory and relationship in their head when the reality is that they hardly interact and communicate at all. You may be falling in love with the image in your head, but the truth is that you know very little about the real person.
12 You Have Finally Met Somebody Who Fits the Ideal
Be careful of forcing yourself to ‘love’ somebody just because they tick all of the boxes that you came up with for what a dream man should be. It takes more than a check sheet to determine real love; it takes genuine human connection and a solid gut feeling.
13 You Have Shared Experiences That Bond You Together
This could be growing up together or even living through something more serious and life changing, but people can often mistake feelings of platonic closeness for something deeper, which is not always the case.
14 Seeing Them as the Default Option
You might have a male friend who you spend so much time with that you begin to see them as the ‘default’ option for settling down. This is a bad idea, because you are trying to craft a romance out of necessity rather having one develop naturally.
15 Finally Receiving Some Attention and Being Overly Grateful
If you are somebody who up until now has never received any kind of romantic attention from potential partners, then make sure not to fall into the trap of thinking that any kind of affectionate interaction equates to true love; that is a one way ticket to being hurt or hurting somebody else!
15 He's Your BFF so It Must Be Love Right?
This is such a difficult one. Yes you can certainly be in love with your BFF but just because you spend so much time together, it doesn't mean he loves you. You have great times, you laugh together and create fabulous memories but even the best best ever friendships are not romantic love.
As you can see finding love is hard. You may think you are in love but you can never be completely sure. After all, none of us really know what love actually is. So we are all basically searching for the unknown! What are some other things you have mistaken for love in the past?
This article was produced in conjunction with editor Neecey Beresford.
