All Women's Talk

How do Guys Decide if You're "Girlfriend Material" ?

By Lyndsie

So, I got the idea for this after reading a typical bro article about the same subject – it was tongue-in-cheek, for the most part, and it had its witty moments, but at the same time, I had to cringe while I was reading it because I know there are guys out there who decide that a woman's “girlfriend material” based on traits such as her talent in the kitchen and the existence of any body art. I took it upon myself to ask some of my straight male friends about their criteria for deciding if a girl is “girlfriend material” – and you'll be happy to know that three out of the four started off by saying they would never, ever use that phrase.

1 A Woman Has to Love Herself

woman, bride, wedding, wedding dress, pattern, This was unanimous. If a woman clearly loves herself, not with smugness or arrogance, but with confidence and true self-love, then men – these men, at least – consider her excellent “girlfriend material.” Why? Because she knows her own worth, she doesn't depend on validation from someone else, and her love for herself suggests a deep capacity for loving others. Word.

2 A Good Relationship with Her Family Doesn't Hurt

document, Come, on,, family, hug!, Although this isn't a deal breaker, a woman who's close with her family – her biological one or her logical one – is definitely a bonus. Again, this suggests a capacity for loving others, as well as an ability to nurture relationships and a willingness to support the people closest to her.

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3 Support Women Make Fantastic Girlfriends

I'm, happiest, when, I'm, being, This makes sense, yeah? I can't imagine anyone wants a partner who only cares about herself and takes off when things get scary or difficult. One of my friends specifically said that he looks for a ride-or-die woman to be his girlfriend because he dated women in the past who disappeared while he was going through hard times. Just remember, to get support you have to be willing to give it.

4 She Accepts Compliments

hair, hairstyle, album cover, red hair, Your, This one surprised me at first, but only because it's so specific and it seems so small. It's not, though. A woman who can accept a compliment is secure in herself. She doesn't fish for them, which suggests she doesn't need constant attention and validation, and she also doesn't come off as coy.

5 She's Forgiving but Firm about What She Wants

black, person, painting, photograph, black and white, I think this is excellent criteria for any partner, regardless of gender. My friends appreciate a woman who knows how to forgive and doesn't hold grudges. That is, you can't say you forgive someone and then stay angry or keep bringing up the issue. At the same time, however, the guys added that they preferred a woman who doesn't falter in what she wants – so, a woman who will forgive them for making a mistake or royally messing up, but won't tolerate repeated foolishness.

6 She Doesn't Put up with Bullshit

hair, person, major appliance, Bullshit!, LAKUni5, Straight up and dirty, this was a big one. Not only do men seem to prefer a woman who won't put up with BS, they also want a woman who doesn't deliver it. A no-BS kind of woman seems to be the ticket.

7 She Loves You Even at Your Lowest

person, facial expression, black and white, emotion, Olove, This is also a big one. They don't want a fickle woman whose affection depends on money, prestige, fame, or infamy. No one wants a partner like that.

8 She Makes Effort

hair, clothing, person, blond, finger, No, you certainly don't need to chase after a guy like a dog after the mailman; but staying connected to him and letting him know you're thinking of him shows him that you care beyond a hookup. It shows you're having feelings for him which gets him thinking of his feelings for you.

9 She's Fun and Easy-Going

, Most men don't do well with high maintenance girls. They want a girl who's laid back and relaxed. Allow him to see your goofy side; it helps build a stronger and deeper connection. He doesn't want a girlfriend who can't laugh at herself (or his jokes) and he certainly doesn't want a girlfriend that's unable to go win the flow.

10 Get to Know His Friends

person, mouth, child, organ, muscle, This one is huge! If you can't get along with his friends-or his friends don't like you-he's probably not going to 'ship you. Show him you can hang with his boys without losing your feminine side. (Being too much "one of the guys" doesn't make a good girlfriend either). If his friends like you, they'll probably root for you.

Now, for the turnaround – what makes a guy “boyfriend material”?

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