There are some things you should know before you start dating a friend. Having friends of the opposite sex can be really fun and enlightening on a daily basis, but what happens on those occasions when you start to feel a little something more for a male friend than just platonic love? As we have all seen in When Harry Met Sally and Friends, pals turning into lovers can be a great thing, but only if all the stars align and all the circumstances feel right. After all, you don’t want to risk ruining a great friendship with someone unless you are sure there is a more there to explore! Here are some things you should know before you start dating a friend.
You need to know whether he feels the same way before you make any grand statements that could change things, so engage in a little flirting to see what kind of response you get back. If he continues to be goofy and platonic then you know it’s not going to happen, but if he changes his behaviour to align it more to yours, then the connection you feel might be authentic after all.
You need to make sure that you have the right kind of friendship with this guy before you choose to take things further. If he has been one of your ride or die BFFs forever, then is it really worth testing out romance? What if it goes terribly and then you lose one of your best friends? It’s different with a casual member of your social circle because the stakes aren’t as high.
Be honest with yourself about why you are thinking of dating this person. Is it because you actually are really attracted to him, or is it because you think that having a boyfriend who is already installed in your immediate life might be an easy shortcut to take? It needs to be based on mutual attraction and chemistry rather than for reasons of convenience.
If you are completely sure about what you want to do, then don’t waste any more time on the matter and go all in. There is no point treating this relationship any differently from your others just because he was a friend first. You both need to be held up to the same kind of standards. Sure, you are a taking a risk, but the risk shouldn’t have an impact on the kind of effort you put into trying to make it work.
Just because you have developed a crush on your friend, it doesn’t mean that taking things to the next level isn’t going to be awkward! They were your friend first and foremost, so it might feel strange to imagine having sex with them at the offset. Don’t worry, they will be feeling the same way too, so take things at your own pace and embrace the awkwardness together!