No matter how strong and solid your relationship with your partner is, it is human nature and inevitable that at some point or another, you are going to enter in to a big argument. That's why you need these tips for diffusing an argument with your partner.
The argument could be caused by something completely silly, or it could be caused by something that really needs to be worked out. No matter what started the argument, the important thing is how you can effectively defuse the tension and anger before things get serious. Some people have the patience to let an argument go smoothly and maturely, but unfortunately some don’t. Here are five handy tips for defusing an argument with your partner.
1. Take a Timeout
One of the best tips for diffusing an argument with your partner is to take a break. There is nothing wrong with asking for a timeout in the middle of a big blow up. Take an hour or so away from each other to collect your thoughts and think about the situation. This will help prevent both of you from saying things that you don’t really mean in the heat of the moment. Taking a time out after you have both said your piece can also be a good way of allowing the other side of the argument to sink in before you respond.
2. Move into a New Room
This might sound silly, but a simple change in environment can really change the tone and course of an argument. If the fight started in the bedroom, make the conscious decision to move it to the kitchen. There might be more light, there might be a radio playing, there might be some food that can act a distraction to ease the tension.
3. Put Yourself in Their Place
Arguments bring out the most stubborn side in all of us, but a helpful exercise to try is both of you verbalising what it is that you think the other person is aggrieved about. By doing this, you can often be made to see that what you are mad about isn’t actually the root of the problem, or perhaps you have completely misunderstood things from the very beginning. This can be a good way to start towards a resolution.
4. Use I Instead of You
When arguing your side, don’t make it about the two of you. Make it just about you and your specific feelings. More resentment can grow in a fight when people start to use "you," talking about the other person rather than expressing their internal feelings. If you only have to concentrate on yourself, you might not have as much to be angry about.
5. Change Your Tone
You can express the very same feelings using an array of different tones, and it’s never good to carry on a long and extended argument in a tone of increased anger and hostility. If you find yourself raising your voice, make the effort to take things back down to a calm level and you might find that a lot of tension disappears from the confrontation.