If you're heartbroken over the loss of a relationship, knowing a few tips on how to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you back can help you move on. One of the most painful times in life is when you are still deeply in love and the other person announces that he isn’t in love with you anymore. This brutal news may come as a complete shock or it may be something that you may have sensed long before he officially ended the relationship. The best thing you can do is respect their decision and look towards the future with these tips on how to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you back.
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1. It Takes Time
At this point, your heart and your mind are at complete war with each other. Since you are still in love with him, your heart is going to replay all the happiest moments in the relationship trying to convince you that it can be that way again. On the other hand, your mind is trying to comprehend that his feelings have changed and there is nothing you can do. It takes time for your heart and mind to accept the reality and get in alignment with each other. One of the best tips on how to stop loving someone who doesn’t love you back is to give yourself time to heal.
2. Grieve the Loss of What Could Have Been
Allow yourself time to grieve over the loss of a relationship. After a breakup, its normal to feel anger, confusion, betrayal and sadness. As you process those difficult emotions, remember that you deserve to be with someone that is crazy in love with you. It’s better that she ended it instead of stringing you along.
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3. Force Yourself to Socialize
Once you have given yourself some time to mourn the loss of the relationship, force yourself to socialize with others. The last thing you want to do is stay at home and be alone with your thoughts. The more time you spend alone, the more you will think about your ex which will only create intense I-miss-you feelings. The best way to overcome those depressing feelings is to be around people that you enjoy hanging out with.
4. Set Goals for Yourself
Reflect on your life and set some personal goals for yourself. Create goals like learn a new language, purchase a new car, get a promotion at work, move to the other side of the country or embark on an entirely new career. Plan out all the steps that are needed to achieve those goals. Now that you are single, you have more time to create the life that you want.
5. Go No Contact
Avoid any contact with your ex. Delete him from any social networking site so you don’t have constant notifications about the latest news in his life. Even though you may be curious, learning information such as who he is dating now is detrimental to your emotional health. Delete his contact information from your cell and e-mail so you aren’t temped to contact him.
6. Remove Emotional Triggers
Avoid triggers that remind you of your ex and the relationship. So if you have old e-mails, pictures of the two of you, voicemails or text messages, hit the delete button. Going through and ruminating about happier times when you were both in love is pretty much self-torture. It also creates major setbacks in your healing.
7. Start Dating Again
Although you may not be completely over your ex, try dating again. Don’t put pressure on yourself to find someone that will replace your ex. The goal is to flirt, enjoy someone else’s company and simply have fun. As your heart is healing from the breakup, you will meet some awesome people until you find the right person for you. Or you just might find that you prefer being single than to deal with a relationship.
Embrace being single and everything that it has to offer while you try to move on with your life. Do you have other tips to share that helped you move on?
Comments
bemine: No contact day 45! It's hard but getting better! The pain is fading...
ajay: are man also allowed here
Bigmama: It's a lot harder when children are involved...but I've resolved to no idle chit chat. If it's not about our kids then there's nothing to talk about. You don't have to talk to me when the little one calls...talk to her then hang up. And that doesn't make me bitter...I'm focusing on being friendly without being social.
Justin: Yeah I was very happy, and have a young son, who had just turned 3, now he's 4 yo.and one day, she said she didn't love me anymore, and that was that. I also went through that pain, anger, looking back with tinted glasses. But now I have come through the other side, stronger, single, and I have my son for half the week, Inc weekends to fit round my job, so I feel very blessed that I still spend a lot of time with my son. I'm 41 and feel the future is bright for me and my son.
Hanane: No contact day 7 ( hope I can have more)
suzee: The day is coming,I thought when he came back he loved me!!!!!not the case,Cant take it,I know it is near so terrified.Felt like I had a mental illness could not function.Sept 13 2015 now I have to find the courage to leave!!!!
hwannie: ohhh, so so so very painful. :/
Elailoves: Is no contact rule effective?
Brian: i am going through this. Supported her through cancer, her dads cancer, her mothers brain bleeds, unexpected pregnancy for us and it was a hard 4 years but we finally made it through and she thinks dating co-worker and also a client is whats best....devistated but processing. she really didnt deserve me.
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