If your significant other is miles away and one of you is struggling with monogamy, you might be wondering if maybe you should have an open long distance relationship. It’s perfectly understandable that this thought may have crossed your mind since being in an long distance relationship is frustrating because you frequently sacrifice all the physical aspects of a relationship. If you are thinking of trying an open long distance relationship, here’s a few tips that can help set the groundwork for a great relationship.
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1. Is Your Heart in It?
Before you embark on an open long distance relationship, ask yourself are you truly okay with sharing the person that you love with someone else? Some people can handle it as long as its just meaningless sex or only kissing, while others would never give the go-ahead to proceed. If you cant even stand the thought of your man kissing another woman, this is definitely not the relationship for you.
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Long distance relationships can be difficult, especially when it comes to an open relationship. It is important to consider all the aspects of the relationship before deciding to enter into it, including the potential for jealousy, hurt feelings, and the need for clear communication.
First, ask yourself if you are truly okay with sharing the person that you love with someone else. Some people can handle it as long as it’s just meaningless sex or only kissing, while others would never give the go-ahead to proceed. If you can’t even stand the thought of your partner kissing another person, this type of relationship is not for you.
The next step is to establish boundaries. It is important to be honest about what is acceptable and what is not. This could include anything from how often you communicate to how much physical contact is allowed. It is also important to talk about expectations, such as how often you will meet up and if either of you will be allowed to date other people. It is essential to be honest and upfront about your needs and desires.
2. Are You and Him on the Same Page?
If you are fine being monogamous but he’s the one wanting to see other people, its time to reconsider the entire relationship because the two of you aren't compatible when it comes to relationship needs. The only way this type of relationship will work is if you are both happy with the arrangement. If you aren't comfortable with it, let him know your true feelings. The worst thing you can do to yourself is to grudgingly agree to an open long distance relationship when your heart is screaming no. If your only option was to split up or to have an open relationship, let him go because you will be miserable knowing you are sharing him with others.
Frequently asked questions
An open long distance relationship is when you and your partner are separated by distance but are also open to seeing other people. It requires a lot of communication and trust.
It's all about being honest and transparent. Set clear boundaries, share your feelings, and keep each other updated about your other relationships. Trust is built on open and honest communication.
Every couple is different, but some good rules to consider are respecting each other's boundaries, keeping open lines of communication, avoiding secrets, and checking in regularly about how you're both feeling.
Jealousy is natural, but you need to talk about it openly. Understand why you feel jealous and discuss those feelings with your partner. Reassurance, trust, and communication can help ease those jealous feelings.
This depends on both of you. It's not for everyone. You need to be very honest with each other about your needs and boundaries. Be ready for lots of communication and be prepared to handle complex emotions.
3. Structure of Your Open Relationship
What kind of structure do you want your open long distance relationship to have? There are different structures of open relationships so you have to figure out what kind works for the two of you. A polyamorous relationship would allow you to have a partner outside of the relationship that not only provides physical benefits but emotional and spiritual benefits as well. Or you might agree on casual hookups but you aren't allowed to have contact with the other person afterwards. Another option is to have the green light to date other people but only allow kissing.
4. Set Basic Rules
It’s a good idea to set a few basic rules for your relationship to clear up confusion and to avoid any misunderstandings. Some common rules of an open long distance relationship include: no sex with someone that you have been romantically involved with, notification must be given in advance of a date with another person, always practice safe sex and there is a limit to the amount of sleepovers you can have with the other person. The two of you need to set rules that you are both comfortable with and that work for your relationship. It has to be understood that anything that is outside of these set rules is considered cheating and a violation of your trust.
5. Dealing with Jealousy
Jealousy often rears its ugly head when an outside partner is brought into the relationship. With billions of people on this planet and even in the best of relationships, jealousy is bound to happen at some point. You might worry that your boyfriend is going to fall in love with someone he shares his bed with. The best thing to do is to discuss your feelings of jealousy and insecurity with him and work through the issue. If he does feel that he is developing an emotional attachment to someone else and you only agreed to casual flings, he needs to immediately cut contact with the other person so those feelings don’t grow any deeper.
6. Be an Open Book
This type of relationship demands a lot of communication so talk about everything. There cant be any secrets of any kind between the two of you. Build trust in the relationship by being honest with each other about your intentions and your sexual encounters. Another thing you need to figure out is how much information you want to know about the other partner. Some people want to hear every explicit detail while others are satisfied just knowing the facts like the name of the other person and the time and place of the sexual encounter.
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It can be difficult to maintain an open long distance relationship, but it is possible with the right amount of communication and trust. When it comes to communication, it is important to talk about everything. There should be no secrets between the two of you, and you should be honest and open about your intentions and any sexual encounters. You should also decide how much information you want to know about each other. Some people want to hear all the explicit details, while others are content with just knowing the facts.
It is also important to set boundaries in an open long distance relationship. This means discussing what is acceptable and what is not. This includes talking about how often you will see each other, what types of activities you will do when you are together, and what type of communication you will have when you are apart. You should also discuss how you will handle jealousy and any potential issues that may arise.
It is also important to stay connected in an open long distance relationship. This means making sure you talk to each other regularly, even if it is just for a few minutes. You should also make an effort to send each other small gifts or cards to let the other person know you are thinking of them.
7. Veto Rule
Many couples have a veto rule in place. This rule states that the couple has to come to an agreement about the other person before proceeding on a date or a sleepover. This veto rule gives you the ultimate power to say no to a potential outside partner that you don’t want your boyfriend to be with. If your partner says no to someone you had in mind, you have to respect his choice and abide by it. If one of you goes against the other’s wishes, its considered cheating.
If you feel that an open long distance relationship is the right choice for you, don’t let others judge your relationship. Each of us has different relationship needs and if this works for the two of you, don’t worry about what others think. So ladies what are your thoughts on an open long distance relationship?
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Open long distance relationships can be a great way to keep a relationship alive if both parties are on the same page. It requires a lot of trust and communication to make it work, but it can be a rewarding experience if done right.
One of the most important tips for a successful open long distance relationship is to have a veto rule in place. This means that both partners must come to an agreement on any potential outside partners that they may be interested in. This rule gives one partner the ultimate power to say no to someone that they don’t want their partner to be with. If one partner goes against the other’s wishes, it is considered cheating.
It is also important to be honest and open with your partner about your feelings and expectations. It is important to let your partner know when something is bothering you or when you need a bit more attention. This will help to keep the relationship healthy and strong.
Another important tip is to set boundaries and stick to them. This means that both partners should be clear on what is and isn’t acceptable in the relationship. This could include how often you communicate, how often you meet up, and what type of activities you do together.
Comments
Lauren: Rhiannon- that was an extremely ignorant statement. Wanting to or having sex does not make someone a "slut" with no self respect. It's 2014, catch up. If it works for some people then so be it not everyone sees relationships so black and white and that is okay.
Newivo30: I'm struggling with this now since a lot has changed my bf and I have been having issues with my insecurity because were so far apart and I don't like to see him entertain other women I think all of his time should be devoted to me
Rhiannon: What????? This is absolutely rediculous!!!!!! How on earth can u have a relationship with someone while banging someone else? Doing that will not make your relationship last... It will only make you lose your self respect and the respect for your partner... And tbh it just makes you a slut who can't control herself!
Lashrules: Of course ...y have a such kind of long distant relationship if u want to sleep around???
Delightfully : the relationship ended fast when guy overseas went from asking me to wait two years to three because of his education. then he confessed he wanted sex with other girls. not for me
Merarri: While I do appreciate all the different thoughts expressed towards this topic, I have to completely agree with Lauren. Relationships are definitely not black and white! Having this type of relationship does NOT make a person a slut with no self respect. I just want the AWS readers to know if you are in one of these relationships, there is nothing wrong with that! I understand that a lot of people would never have an open relationship but many have found that it works for them. And like I said at the end, some people are going to judge but hey if it works for you and your significant other-more power to you!
Nicole: I've been in n open long distance relationship since my ex moved almost 15 yrs ago. I was even married for the last 11 years until recently & my husband knew all abt it, but was fine bcuz nothing physical ever happened. But w my long distance guy, I can be completely honest, he gives me great advice, he loves me for the good, the bad, the ugly, the crazy, just all of it!! N bcuz we write so much back n forth, I think he knows me better than anyone else on Earth. Something about writing letters allows u to be much more open. And we are always honest. Always have been. He's absolutely the man I love, adore, would do anything to be with. But living in Africa is dangerous and I have my kids to think about as well. I'd NEVER take them more than 15 minutes away from their Dad! But we r planning a reunion soon and the wait will all be worth it the minute we r in each other's arms again, if only for that week. He's still my best friend above all else. And probably will be all my life. Who knows? Maybe in 15-20 years when my last kid is grown n doesn't need Mommy every day, maybe I will pick up n go. But I feel my roots are here. N even if our paths run parallel n only physically cross once each year or so, that's ok. Because no one can ever compare to our connection, many don't even understand it. But when I see that email or get that phone call, my entire world could be falling apart n when he says I'm strong and it'll be ok and he's got me, I believe it. N he's proven it. N to me, that's enough. :-) I honestly don't care who he sleeps with over there- a guys got physical needs. Heck, I do too!! It's the emotional connection and support that matters. He may lay w a girl one night, but where is she gonna be in his life two years fm now? A distant memory that's where!! I'm still gonna be right here, still on speed dial, still hopping planes 1/2 way around the world, still the one he looks forward to seeing n hearing from. That's so much more than any one night stand!! Or even a one year stand. What we have is a lifetime of love, friendship, sex, support, and security in knowing someone out there loves u n will always be there. I'd rather live my life this way than walk away n live without him in it ever again at all !!!
Skye: Why be or even call this sort of arrangement a relationship to begin with???
pixie: @Rhiannon Sophie Mitchell, or...perhaps it makes one an Ethical Slut. An excellent book which deals with all aspects of monogamy and non-monogamy type relationships. It's full of answers for questions you didn't realize you had AND it can open the eyes of many a narrow minded or misinformed individual. I try to read it at least once a year and I'm very happy in a monogamous marriage. Don't knock what you haven't tried, or don't understand.
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