7 Ways to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work ...

By Bridget • Jun 26, 2013

Dating someone who lives far, far way can be a big drag, but believe it or not, there are ways to make a long distance relationship work. I speak from experience. Way back when, when my husband and I first started dating, we had a long distance relationship for THREE years! Yes, three! We really, really cared for each other and so we put the effort in and made it work. Now, we’ve been together for a total of 14 years and have been married for seven. We must’ve done something right! So, if you’re dating someone who lives a far away, rest assured that there are ways to make a long distance relationship work. Here’s my advice on the subject.

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1. Talk Every Day

One of the key ways to make a long distance relationship work is talking. Even if you have nothing to really talk about, you should make it a point to talk to each other once a day. Your conversation doesn’t have to be long or even have to be about something monumental; a simple phone call to say goodnight, I’m thinking about you and I love you is all that is needed.

2. Write Letters

Texts, emails and Facebook messages are a great way to communicate, but they aren’t really romantic. Send your long distance lover good old fashioned hand-written letters every once in a while. A hand-written letter received in the mail shows that you really took the time to show how much you care – and that you really, well, care. Plus, they are great keepsakes to hold onto.

3. Talk about Each Other

Another great way to keep your feelings for your long distance love front and center is by talking to others about him or her. Not only are you letting the world know how amazing your other half is, but you are reaffirming how amazing you think your other half is. Plus, when he or she comes to town, your friends will be able to say, “I’ve heard so much about you,” or “I heard you got a new job,” or whatever the case may be.

Treat distance like a shared system: fixed check-ins, planned visits, and clear expectations reduce avoidable friction. Use "Talk Every Day" as a starting habit and refine it as your relationship evolves. For practical ideas, use the long-term relationship generator to keep your plans fresh and intentional.

4. Don’t Stress

Being long distance is enough of a strain on a relationship; don’t add to this strain by constantly asking when you’re going to see each other, when you’ll be together or by telling the other you wish they were with you 5,000 times a day. It goes without saying that you want to be together physically, so saying it over and over again can make things stressful and really hurt the relationship in the end.

If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.

5. Keep It Alive

Make your long distance relationship exciting by keeping life in it. Falling into a set routine can make it expected and can actually hinder your relationship. Call at random times in the day, send a gift for no reason or plan a random trip to visit. The fresher and more alive your long distance relationship is, the more exciting it will be and the better the chance that it will work out.

6. See Each Other

You can’t very well make any relationship work without ever seeing each other. Make it a point to see each other as often as possible. Back when my husband and I were long distance, we would try to see each other at least once a month. And each time we saw each other, the stress of making our long distance relationship work was confirmed.

7. Have a Foreseeable End

You can’t stay long distance forever. Having a plan of when you’ll actually be living near each other is a necessity for making things work out. Make sure there is an end to the long distance in sight.

While long distance isn’t the ideal, if you really love each other, you can make it work. My husband and I are a true testament to that. Are you long distance with someone? How are you making it work?

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Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

  • Dave

    2013-07-01T16:04:18.000Z

    Plan vacations away from each others places of residence to mix it up... @davidvcast
  • Cristina

    2013-06-27T05:11:32.000Z

    Ive been with my bf for 3 1/2 years now and going strong :) still haven't met either!
  • Emily

    2013-06-27T04:10:31.000Z

    My boyfriend and I are long distance as well. I think these are great tips but I want to add that skyping whenever you can helps a lot. Being able to just see them makes the distance easier to handle. Good luck to anyone in a long distance relationship, don't give up!
  • Tasha

    2013-06-27T08:35:08.000Z

    I live in the states and my bf in London. We do talk all the time and see each other on an average if 6 weeks but its hard bc i miss him; he wants me to move to London next year. That's a big scary move but i am open
  • odessa

    2013-06-27T13:47:55.000Z

    my boyfriend & I been together for over 4 1/2 years now. adding all the days I've seen him in person is only a month. we talk EVERY DAY! last year he joined the US army & is now in the east coast. communication is HUGE in a ldr. few more years until we can be together! just got to finish school first.
  • cinnamon

    2015-06-06T08:12:26.392Z

    My bf lives in Mississippi and i live in Teneessee and we dont get to see each other.
  • autumn

    2017-11-15T12:53:10.308Z

    How do you guys texting or calling to each other?
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