7 Ways to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work ...

Talk Every Day • Write Letters • Talk about Each Other • Don’t Stress • Keep It Alive • More ...

By Bridget • Jun 26, 2013 MD

Dating someone who lives far, far way can be a big drag, but believe it or not, there are ways to make a long distance relationship work. I speak from experience. Way back when, when my husband and I first started dating, we had a long distance relationship for THREE years! Yes, three! We really, really cared for each other and so we put the effort in and made it work. Now, we’ve been together for a total of 14 years and have been married for seven. We must’ve done something right! So, if you’re dating someone who lives a far away, rest assured that there are ways to make a long distance relationship work. Here’s my advice on the subject.

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1. Talk Every Day

One of the key ways to make a long distance relationship work is talking. Even if you have nothing to really talk about, you should make it a point to talk to each other once a day. Your conversation doesn’t have to be long or even have to be about something monumental; a simple phone call to say goodnight, I’m thinking about you and I love you is all that is needed.

2. Write Letters

Texts, emails and Facebook messages are a great way to communicate, but they aren’t really romantic. Send your long distance lover good old fashioned hand-written letters every once in a while. A hand-written letter received in the mail shows that you really took the time to show how much you care – and that you really, well, care. Plus, they are great keepsakes to hold onto.

3. Talk about Each Other

Another great way to keep your feelings for your long distance love front and center is by talking to others about him or her. Not only are you letting the world know how amazing your other half is, but you are reaffirming how amazing you think your other half is. Plus, when he or she comes to town, your friends will be able to say, “I’ve heard so much about you,” or “I heard you got a new job,” or whatever the case may be.

Treat distance like a shared system: fixed check-ins, planned visits, and clear expectations reduce avoidable friction. Use "Talk Every Day" as a starting habit and refine it as your relationship evolves. For practical ideas, use the long-term relationship generator to keep your plans fresh and intentional.

4. Don’t Stress

Being long distance is enough of a strain on a relationship; don’t add to this strain by constantly asking when you’re going to see each other, when you’ll be together or by telling the other you wish they were with you 5,000 times a day. It goes without saying that you want to be together physically, so saying it over and over again can make things stressful and really hurt the relationship in the end.

If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.

5. Keep It Alive

Make your long distance relationship exciting by keeping life in it. Falling into a set routine can make it expected and can actually hinder your relationship. Call at random times in the day, send a gift for no reason or plan a random trip to visit. The fresher and more alive your long distance relationship is, the more exciting it will be and the better the chance that it will work out.

6. See Each Other

You can’t very well make any relationship work without ever seeing each other. Make it a point to see each other as often as possible. Back when my husband and I were long distance, we would try to see each other at least once a month. And each time we saw each other, the stress of making our long distance relationship work was confirmed.

7. Have a Foreseeable End

You can’t stay long distance forever. Having a plan of when you’ll actually be living near each other is a necessity for making things work out. Make sure there is an end to the long distance in sight.

While long distance isn’t the ideal, if you really love each other, you can make it work. My husband and I are a true testament to that. Are you long distance with someone? How are you making it work?

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Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

  • Lex

    2013-06-28T01:47:06.000Z

    I pray me & my LDR never lose the connection! ;)
  • Ayesha

    2013-06-27T04:40:18.000Z

    Yup me too...me in India and he in New Zealand...pretty far...but we are working it out
  • andiena

    2013-06-27T10:36:15.000Z

    I'm having long distance relationship with my boyfriend.. He is working in holland now, and I'm in bali Well we care for each other.. Sometime we keep telling how much we wish that we live in the same city so i guess it's lil bit hurt.. We talking almost everyday by what's app.. But it's difficult to ask him when I can call him by phone or Skype.. The question.. Could it be problem? If we didnt do those things often? Could it be a bad sign? He told me that whenever we did those thing it just make him feel sad bc he lives so far.. I like this article and I guess it helps alot but I need advice also.. Thanks you
  • suzana

    2013-06-27T05:17:08.000Z

    I've been in a LDR for a year and one more to go before we can be together for good. We are both Brazilians but he is currently living in the U.S!
  • sunhana

    2013-06-27T15:39:31.000Z

    I met a guy from internet by chance and we have never met each other. However, we enjoyed talking to each other a lot that in the first week we knew each other, we talked 24/24, whenever we can, though our time distance is 14 hours.This is so weird because I am a girl who is really really hard to fall in love with someone and after a long time losing feeling with all guys around me, I start have feeling with a totally stranger on the internet. This is bad and good with me, because once I start have feeling with someone, it would be really hard for me to forget him. So I am afraid and happy to have this relationship because we haven't ever met each other and I afraid we will run out of topic to talk someday and it will be very hard to maintain this relationship. Really dont know what should I do now :(
  • Heather

    2013-06-27T04:59:37.000Z

    My boyfriend and I first meet when we were 5. It was love at first sight for me! Took a little convincing for him because girls still had cooties ;) we have been best friends for so long I don't even know when we started to date! I count 8 years from the day he first wrote me the check yes or no note when we were 12. I still have all those notes we passed as kids! So sweet! Right before I turned 16 my dad started a new job that required us to move. We decided that we would always talk everyday and make it work. I am almost 21 now and we are still going strong long distance! He is my first and only and that's how it's been. The key for us is trust! I don't need to know what he's doing every second or have to worry. It's just a mutual trust and strong friendship we have that makes us last! I loved this article because I can relate so closely! Obviously there is more to it but its a learning process that will help you grow as a couple
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