A lot of people don't believe that there are ways that you can learn on how to stop an on off relationship. On again and off again relationships are difficult to deal with, especially if you are really in love with the person that you are having the relationship with. Learning how to stop an on off relationship is not going to be easy, but it is something that needs to be done, especially if you want to either move on or stick with your ex.
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1. Pay Attention to Signs
When you are learning how to stop an on off relationship, you've got to pay attention to the signs of your relationship going downhill again. The signs could be you constantly feel like you need to nag or that your boyfriend or girlfriend is constantly getting on your nerves. Truthfully, an on again and off again relationship is difficult to deal with, but if you watch out for the signs, most likely you'll see if you want to be with your boyfriend or girlfriend!
2. Assess Your Own Needs
When you are in this type of relationship, you've really got to assess your needs and what you want out of a relationship. Do you think that your ex is someone that you can be with forever? Are their flaws something that you can live with? Do you want to live with them?
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3. Learn to Negotiate
If you do decide to work it out, you've got to learn to negotiate with your partner, you've got to learn to lay down the law and let them know that you are not doing this on and off again thing, but rather you want something real and something permanent.
4. Find Ways to Work Together
Having an on again and off again relationship can all boil down to your and your partner not finding a way to work together on even the smallest things. It can cause resentment if you are constantly the one that is doing the dishes and your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't do them with you or ever. Remember, you've got to find a way to work together.
5. Expect Conflict
Conflict is going to happen in any relationship, but in on again and off again relationships, it seems to happen more and more. The reason? Because you've already walked away once, twice or five times. With every relationship, if you've walked away a ton, it can be easy to do so when there is conflict. Remember though, even in the best of relationships, there is conflict.
6. Don't Be Impulsive
While conflict might happen, you've got to remember that you don't want to be impulsive. Just because both of you are having a fight or you get frustrated with your partner, doesn't mean that you suddenly need to end it or start making the fight worse by throwing up the past.
7. Avoid 'Always' and 'Never'
Finally, one of the biggest things that I learned when I went to therapy in regards to relationships, especially the on and off again relationships is the fact that there is a lot of black and white. 'He never does this' or 'She always does this,' avoid those statements and live in the gray a little!
So, while there are never going to be times where you can completely forget an on again and off again relationship, you can learn how to recognize it. Have you ever been in an on and off again relationship?
Comments
Shari: I'm in one right now, and reading this,, I'm impulsive. I call it quits at any little argument we have. That's horrible. Especially for my bf:/ this was extremely helpful.
Yixin: The on off relationship makes me hate my bf.. I am trying so hard, but he just won't give in. Until when I disappear, he panics. He always talk about break ups be it small or big fights.. Just don't know how to make him stop, because its useless..
Sylmar: Yes, I think I am. But I'm putting a stop to it because it's draining my energy and upsetting my calm. Life is too short to waste your love/emotions on a person who's not sure if they want to be with you, :-/
JAS: I have been in an on again off again relationship for a little over 3 years we have been trying to limit the disagreements and make things work hopefully this post helps... It sounds like it would... Thanks!!!
Angelica: This was spot-on! It's really hard when you feel like you're attracted to someone but there's other factors that get in the way...loved this!
Janeth: My boyfriend and I had have gone through a lot ! We are both working out on it ! So far so good
Raven: I just want my damn bf to put his arm around me .. Lol but in all seriousness I feel love through physical touch and he doesn't like that (never has) but he has come a long way. I often do say "never"... I loved this article. Thank you.
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