What do men want in a woman? It is one of the many questions that have plagued women for years, and usually, women feel as though they already have us figured out. Interestingly, both females and males ultimately want to be heard. Conversation consists of 2 parts: the talker and the listener. The important thing is to listen so you learn. The golden rule of a healthy relationship is communication. So what do men want in a woman?
After being married twice (the 2nd one is my current) I learned how to be open and have encouraged my wife to do the same. I have never had a healthier relationship in my 33 years of existence. I have had conversations with women and they all tell me the things that “men want”, and after listening to them, they never tend to care to pay attention to what my rebuttal is to their comments. This makes me ask how can you know or understand something without gaining knowledge from the source? We both, at times, wish for the other person to just listen. Everyone wants to be heard. Even when people are talking the listener is already thinking of their own thoughts.
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1. Confidence
The answer is simple! Men want a woman who is confident, flexible, and present. Ask yourself how many times you considered changing for a guy and it ended in turmoil. Women have done things to change their physical appearance, their emotions, their interests, etc. to please a man.
The days of a woman being second class to men died centuries ago. It is the difference between being confident vs. bitchy. I look to my wife to make decisions in our relationship with an understanding of knowing me and what’s best for us. Nobody wants a push-over or even a person who’s so strong-minded that it borders on disrespect. Confidence is not just about showing a person that you believe in yourself, but being confident is also about allowing your partner to lead at times. Understand that in choosing your next relationship, whatever variation it is, it means that you have made a confident conscious decision to pick the right person to pursue and grow with.
2. Shared Interests
I love the fact that I can watch a football game (Go Steelers!) with my girl next to me enjoying the same. This is time spent with her that she doesn't consider a sacrifice because ultimately, she wants to spend time together too. Just 'cos the Steelers game is on doesn’t mean that she is being ignored. We talk about the game, the players, the rules, but we also have a general convo.
These are things that guys do with homies, and if you, as the partner or wife, can find that balance in your partner’s interest, you have scored a touchdown for one's self and can put the game into overtime.
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3. Spending Time Together
When my wife wants to go out to the latest night spot or lounge, I am all for it, but not just as a spectator. When she goes shoe shopping I am available and not just as a hanger-on, but I am expressing interest, thoughts, as well as suggestions (yes I am educated in the shoe game….I am a fashion consultant). Being interested in your partner’s endeavors, but also bringing your own flavor to the relationship gives you and your partner depth, and make you a worldly couple. Flexibility gives and almost guarantees longevity.
4. Being Present
Lastly, being present is key. Nobody wants to be forgotten. No matter if you are hanging around with a group of friends or attending a family gathering, you will want to feel as though you are the most important person to him.
My wife has taught me the understanding of this concept by showing it (confidence is sexy). She keeps me engaged in the environment by checking on me, including me in conversation with her side of the family (every family gathering includes significant other convos you weren’t around to experience) and these things can cause disinterest and wedges between the two of you.
Presence of mind of one another makes a person feel special. Even during a conversation, body language goes a long way. Have you ever caught the person you are talking to staring with a blank look on their face? It is very discouraging, correct? But when you have a person showing interest and intently responding with their mouth as well as their body, you feel engaged and cared for.
5. Be Yourself
At the end of the day, women must not lose who they are. Understand that you are first and foremost special to yourself. Embrace the things that make you a woman at every level (emotionally, mentally, and physically). The second you change for the benefit of a man, understand that you yourself can lose yourself and never regain your dignity.
Every decision you make should be for your growth and in a relationship, it is best to consider your partner in your decisions. It is not you being submissive to that person and they have the final say, but once you decided to be with the “one”, you gave the right for your partner to have an opinion.
Be confident with who you are, where you’re going, what you want, and where you want to be. Be flexible for growth and knowledge with the understanding that with learning from other people you too gain and mature.
Finally, be present for any opportunity that may show its face because being in the moment allows you to live in the now with the potential of finding your next blessing.
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