It can be quite a shock to suddenly find your man has gone limp. All that build up and foreplay and suddenly – no erection. It’s not uncommon but it is a sensitive issue. And no bones about it – it is something you need to deal with together. Especially if it is more than a one-time event you can laugh off.
Snapshot Survey
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:
1. Don’t Make It about You
Remember that it is not your fault that he has lost the erection, so you shouldn’t make the scenario about you and wonder what you have done to ‘upset’ him. He’ll probably be very embarrassed about the situation, so try not to make the both of you annoyed or upset by thinking that you haven’t pleased him in the way he would like etc. Sometimes this happens, there doesn’t have to be a specific reason!
***
It's crucial to approach the situation with sensitivity and understanding. Panicking or expressing disappointment will only add to the stress he may already feel. Instead, offer reassurance that it's a common experience many men face. Remember, your reaction plays a significant role in how the situation unfolds. Maintaining a supportive attitude can help keep the mood light and alleviate any unnecessary pressure. To navigate through this, focus on the connection you share rather than physical performance.
2. Be Kind
No matter how eager you were to get down, it’s really important that you remember not to be angry or mean to him about it. You can be absolutely sure that he will be more embarrassed or humiliated than you, so be kind and reassuring about the situation. You can always have another go later on when he is feeling more confident!
***
Understanding and patience are your best friends in such sensitive moments. Gently suggest a break or shift the focus to other forms of intimacy. It could be cuddling, kissing, or any other affectionate activity that maintains the connection without the pressure. Remember, a supportive response can be incredibly reassuring. Positivity and encouragement can help alleviate any performance anxiety he might be feeling. After all, intimacy is about the emotional bond just as much as the physical one.
Frequently asked questions
3. Be Aware of the Causes
If you have a bit of knowledge relating to the causes of losing an erection then you might be able to change your environment to help him try to perform better. Common causes of erection loss include stress, nervousness, excess body weight, and drunkenness, so if you recognize anything about your current situation that matches the causes, then you might be able to make some changes to help him.
4. Switch It up
This has no reflection on your man’s romantic feelings for you as a person, but the truth is that sometimes we can get bored the same old sexual routine. If you think that a predictable sex life might have something to do with his loss of libido, why not try to spice things up a little and try some new things? Of course, always stay within your personal comfort zone; never do anything that you do not want to do.
5. Talk about It
Leaving a topic like this that is so personal un-discussed can sometimes have a worsening effect. Encourage your man to talk you about what he is going through, By taking a little bit of weight off of his shoulders, you might be able to begin working through the issue together. It is something that affects both of you so it makes sense to tackle it together.
6. Visit the Doctor Together
If the problem gets serious enough to warrant a visit to the doctors, then offer to go with him for support. Depending on his personality, he might not want you to come, but make sure that he knows the offer is there and that you want to help him get through this difficult period. It lets him know that you aren’t losing interest just because of a briefly-lived sexual problem.
7. Remember You Can Still Be Intimate
Penetrative sex is just one part of the sexual experience, so take this time to let your man know that he doesn’t have to feel redundant and can please you in many other ways too. It is important to retain a level of intimacy whilst you try to resolve this issue, as it keeps you bonded in that way and will make your partner feel needed and ‘useful’ in the bedroom still.
Have you ever faced this problem? Was it a temporary dysfunction or did it last a while?
Comments
GJP: It's important to remember this is an issue that affects you both but the best solution has to be one that he is happy with.
Mellyb: This is an issue my partner and myself are facing now. It is an on going issue but we work together to get thru it. Happening for 4 months now xxx
Sonia: My husband has gone limp when he became diabetic. I just try to understand him. Anyway we're old already.
Jodelle: There is a lot of good tips here
aaron: Communications, honest open discussion. Be loving, also, use it as an opportunity to view sex not just as intercourse but the complete body, self, intimacy. Once this happens its a foundation for both to recreate their love.
Scarlett: What to do? Wait till morning lol.
shanianawaz: Good tips
RhondaJames: I just know I would laugh.
Sapna: I tried getting him to talk and when he did he told me I'm too intimidating....left the next day and never heard from him again...ugh!
:
Feedback Junction
Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge