There’s no doubt that Facebook has the potential to throw some real spanners into the works of your relationship. The transparency of social media sites means that if you allow it, you can have your relationship on view to the world. If you use Facebook and other social media platforms sensibly, they can help your relationship, not hinder or potentially kill it.
Snapshot Survey
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:
1. More Time for Canoodling, Less for Social Media
What's more important? Spending quality snuggling time with your partner or telling the world you've just had a meal together? Spend less time on Facebook, Twitter and all the other social media and use this time to enhance your love life. Go out for picnics, walks, climb mountains - whatever you do, you'll be living instead of merely writing about life and love.
2. Giving up a Certain Amount of Privacy
If you are planning to get married or stay together long term, then your relationship should be based on trust and understanding or your marriage won't last. A sign of this trust is to give up a certain amount of confidentiality and privacy, which might mean sharing passwords on FB and other social media accounts and permitting your partner to see pictures you've uploaded and read your messages to friends and family. Hiding things will only arouse suspicion and create distrust.
Frequently asked questions
3. Sorting FB Friends from Potential Foes
Acquaintances who could pose a threat to your relationship or marriage need to be weeded out before you both start using the same FB account. This includes ex-boyfriends, colleagues with an obvious crush on you and former BFFs turned bitter because you're spending more time with your partner than with them. Protect your budding relationship/marriage dream or you'll regret it later when the damage is done.
3. Own up to Your Relationship Status
What's the point in hiding your relationship status? If you've got it, flaunt it! Show off the love of your life to friends and family. If you don’t want to announce it, are you really invested in the relationship, or are you hoping something better will come along?
4. Don't Set up FB Accounts with Fake IDs
It may start out as a harmless attempt to have one original, clean account where partners can remain in the friend's list, but this may soon tempt you to use the account for not-so-legitimate reasons, such as bitching behind your partner's back when you've had your first row, conveniently forgetting that your partner's still part of the friends' list! Nothing good lies in the fake FB ID route. Delete, delete, delete!
5. There's No "I" in Team
Ok, we get it, you're loved-up, but that's no reason to forget about your own FB identity and turn your account into the We-team. Don't turn it into a joint account, where you upload post after post of luvvie-posts about just the two of you. Your friends' list will soon dwindle, as people get fed up reading about the We-team exploits that exclude all of them and everybody in your joint circle of family and friends. If you must, set up a joint account to flaunt the "us" and "we" stuff.
6. Evict Those Skeletons from Your FB Closet
Nasty comments you made about joint friends, rating kissing techniques of former boyfriends and loved-up photographs of you and your ex - it's all there for your new partner to see. Delete, delete, delete those FB skeletons before that happens and amend your profile to the type of person you want to become rather than show the one you used to be.
7. Don't Be Shy to Upload Images of Your Partner
Nobody wants to see an endless array of pictures of the love of your life and you holding hands, kissing or being otherwise loved-up. However, uploading a few pictures of your partner is perfectly acceptable. It shows how your life together and relationship is progressing and how much you care about your partner. Don't post anything too intimate without talking to your "other half" about if first: your partner may view that as a breach of trust.
It’s amazing the impact social media has had on modern day relationships – as if love isn’t complicated enough.
Have you had a relationship go sour because of social media?
Comments
Rebecca: I could say so much more, but I know I'm really just talking to a wall at this point.
Sharon: I wasn't even "friends" with my boyfriend on Facebook right away. We are now. Does it make a difference? Not really. We haven't even changed the relationship status. Why? Because it's not everybody's business and we don't have to broadcast our relationship. The ones who constantly do on Facebook....makes you wonder if they have issues, and why the heck can't you just SPEAK to your significant other in private instead of broadcasting it on Facebook?
Rebecca: Yeah let me just ask my boyfriend for his Facebook password so I can make sure he doesn't dare speak to another girl without my permission. I should probably get a job at his work so I know he's not flirting with women at work, either. I mean, he trusts me, right? You know what, maybe I better just lock him away in our apartment, that way he can never cheat on me and we can both trust each other, because this is a healthy loving relationship, right? No...what my boyfriend does on Facebook is HIS business and what I do is MINE. I don't need him to tell me every little thing he says to other girls. He has girl friends and he talks to them, and you know what? He even invites me to hangout with his girl friends, they're actually really nice girls. I'm not so shallow and afraid of being cheated on that I have to put my boyfriend on lock down. Being a crazy girlfriend is what makes men want to leave you and cheat on you, anyways.
Rebecca: People who give their significant other their Facebook password (or ask their significant other for their Facebook password) are really sad and should probably seek help. Trust doesn't mean giving your partner access to all your conversations and online interactions, trust is allowing your partner to have the privacy that a person needs, and trusting them to stay true to you. This is dangerous behavior and SHOULD NOT BE ENCOURAGED. This is how abusive relationships begin, by exchanging passwords.
Angie: I disagree with Rebecca ... If you have nothing to hide why not , I don't care if my husbands sees every aspect of me ... Also don't be so naive , this is not an ideal world . Some of us need openness . I think you are sad and idealistic and will learn the hard way . you probably are in a secretly abusive relationship and he's laughing at what you let him getaway with .. There should be no secrets and no place outbid bounds ... Doesn't mean I'd look without good reason . JUDGING an IDEAL FAIRYTALE believing is to be DISCOURAGED
Carol: Totally agree with Rebecca
The: But if u have nothin to hide why would a fight start? Like if u both r 100% honest to each other then even if u exchanged passwords why would a fight start?
The: @sharon I got to agree with u my friends (who live far away from me) are like send me a pic of him blah blah blah .. Why do u never post his pictures blah blah blah. And I am like I just don't want the whole world to know about my personal life.
Sharon: I agree with Rebecca. How about just "friend" the guy....then he can see your activity. So, he should listen to all your phone conversations too? He should read ALL your emails? He should be able to open all your regular mail even though it's a federal offense? And did I read this right that you should have a joint Facebook account? My parents have been married 45 years and used to have joint email but not anymore and I don't think my mom has his Facebook password but they are friends. I think Angie must be having issues in her own relationship to say such things. Wow, grow up.
Sapna: I wish every couple who overdoes shud read this article I know many who do on fb n it's suffocating
:
Feedback Junction
Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge