If you have been searching for tips for dealing with his ex-wife, you are in the right place. I am coming upon a decade of being a second wife and have learned a few things along the way. I am happy to share tips for dealing with his ex-wife. I would be thrilled to know that something I have learned has offered other women comfort and guidance.
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1. Let Him Deal with Her
One of the best tips for dealing with his ex-wife that I can give to you is to let him deal with her. Remember that she is his ex-wife. She is not your problem. I have always had the perspective that I did not create that situation so why would I use my valuable time to participate in it? Allow him to deal with his ex-wife and allow yourself to have a life that is stress-free of that issue.
2. Think of Jackie O
There will undoubtedly be times when you are tempted to react. Don’t do it. When you are tempted to lose your cool, think about how would Jackie O handle the situation. She was a lady of poise and grace and I wish to be no less. She would never acknowledge someone whose behavior was deplorable toward her.
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3. Refuse to Stoop
You may be dealing with an ex-wife that would like nothing more than to drag you down into a verbal or physical altercation. Remember that taking the high road will not only reflect you in a more positive light but if she is searching to wound you, it will hurt her deeply when you won’t respond. I always remember the quote that says, if you lay in the mud with a pig, you both get dirty. Instead, choose to respond with a calm nonchalance. You will almost find it amusing to realize this only infuriates her more.
4. Be Ms. Manners
You want to always be polite to her. If you do this, then she can’t ever honestly say anything about how you have treated her because she knows it isn’t true. It also gives her less ammunition against you. More than that, you will have the advantage of having a clean conscience and nothing is better than that. It also keeps the tension down between the two of you.
5. Be Cordial but Not Chummy
This gal is not your friend. She may try to be your friend but it is best not to go down that road. Of course, you want to be cordial but you do not want to go farther than that. Treat her as if she is someone you must do business with. There are very rare exceptions where you can break this rule but remember those cases are the exceptions.
6. Protect Yourself
Your job is to protect yourself from her. There is no reason you have to put up with her mistreating you in any way. Speaking to you is a privilege. If she is unkind to you, she loses that right. Your partner may owe her child support or the time of day but you, my friend, do not. And remember that one day, he won’t owe her anything, either.
7. Keep Her in Perspective
Remember she means nothing to him. If she is the sort of ex-wife that wants to make you feel insecure, don’t allow her to do that. You know that your partner loves you so allow that confidence to show. There is absolutely no reason to give her a thought. Happiness truly is the best revenge.
Dealing with an ex-wife can be difficult but these strategies can help you to live a more peaceful life. What tips have you picked up along the way in dealing with your partner's difficult ex-wife? We can all learn from each other.
Comments
Shahrazad: Hey, I'm having trouble too, my boyfriend's ex wants him back, he has moved from her but it bothers me that they still talk and she obviously hasn't moved on from him, I just feel lost at the minute and I feel like it's my fault. However she doesn't know he is dating someone else now (me) and he doesn't want her to know I guess?
Maria: @Lila.You are right but I have two stepchildren that are grown up now and have told me how their mother had painted me in a bad light through out their life time. And although my husband had given them the talk that I was not taking their mother\'s position, we did not have any control in what their mother said to them. However, while they were growing up, they saw and compared my parenting style to their mother\'s and have made comments that they wished they lived with my husband and I while they were growing up. @Sarah, divorces are not great events especially to a child, if it was amicable. The child suffers and it takes solid, loving, consistent parenting to help get them thru. Remember their lives were uprooted beyond their control. What was safe to them is no more. Help them trust you. Kids can discern good, bad, truth and lies. Good luck!
Melissa: I would like some advice from you as im in the middle stages of this scenario...
Sarah: You should do an article on how to be a step-mom. Hardest thing ever! Especially when the child has a horrible attitude towards you. Ugh!
Christie: How about tips for dealing with the NEW wife who doesn\'t want the father of your kids to speak to you? Simply because YOURE THE EX. it\'s not easy being the ex wife even when you\'re happy he\'s your EX.
Melissa: its very tough cant think what the kids feel when we struggle as adults to handle it well Maria
Silvi:
Alicia: Hi,Sarah! I will see about an article for stepmoms! Thank you for your comment!
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