Teenage Love is a complicated but beautiful thing. I’m not saying that any other kind of romantic love isn’t; but I believe those characteristics are especially true for love during the teenage years. It could be mostly due to the fact that you are changing. Your body is undergoing all kinds of changes and your hormones are all over the place. Plus, you are still discovering who you are when you enter your teenage years. You have yet to get a better understanding of your emotions, and teenage love is probably making things a little more complicated for you. But that’s the beauty of being a teenager – having a flexible and more open mind. Your ways are not completely set and you are still open to learning new things. So sure, teenage love is not easy, but there are things you can learn to make it more bearable. Here are 14 things teenage girls (or even boys) should learn about love.
1. Always Be Yourself
You need to stop asking questions like, “How should I act?” You don’t need to act like anything or anyone. You should always be yourself. Of course, you need to keep in mind social graces, but those things don’t really change your essence as a person.
2. A Smile Can Work Wonders
If you constantly worry about how to get a guy to notice you, then heed this advice. A simple smile can light up your face, making you look happier, prettier, and more approachable. And even if the object of your affection doesn’t like you back, there will be someone in the room who will notice your smile.
3. Teenage Boys Are as Scared as You
Don’t let their swagger and their self-confidence fool you. Boys are as confused and as uncertain as girls when it comes to teenage love. They just act like they do because society expects them to initiate everything in a relationship. Give them a break by doing your part, even if it can be nerve-wracking.
4. You Can Ask a Boy Out First
I know I might get some flak for this piece of advice, but it’s something that I’ve been saying to most of the girls asking for help on the site. Gone are the days when it’s taboo for a girl to ask a boy out first. If you like someone, take a chance on them! I know rejection is scary, but isn’t it scarier to let the person you like to pass you by?
5. You Can’t Force People to Love You
Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how much you love someone. He, or even she, may not feel the same way about you. No matter how hard you work for the person’s affection, it may never happen. You need to learn when to accept that and when to try to move on.
6. If You Have to Do Everything Yourself, Then He’s Not That into You
When someone likes you, he will show some effort to gain your attention. You won’t always have to work extra hard to carry on a conversation with him. You won’t have to text him first every single time. You don’t always have to approach him first when you’re in the same area. I think you get my point, right? So unless he’s incredibly shy, the guy you like is not that into you if you have to do everything yourself.
7. There Is No Deadline for Your First Kiss
There are a lot of girls who are in such a rush to have their first kiss. But honestly, I think that girls are putting too much pressure on themselves and their lips. All things happen in good time. You just need to learn to go with the flow.
8. When in Doubt, Say No
No one can force you to do anything you’re not ready for. When it comes to teenage love, this rule is usually applicable to physical or sexual activities. However, you can also use this rule of thumb when you are being pressured to try drugs, to drink alcohol, to go places you are not familiar with, or to try things you are unsure about.
9. Sex Doesn’t Prove Anything
If you’re not ready to have sex, let him know. If you’re uncomfortable about something a guy wants you to do, speak up. Muster up the courage to utter a single word: NO. Having sex with him doesn’t prove your love. Don’t believe the lies he tells you. Please don’t ever let anyone pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to do. And if he forces sex on you, it’s called rape; report it. Remember that no means no.
10. Choose Your Girl Friends over a Guy
You know how guys have the code “bros before hoes”? I don’t particularly like the word choice, but basically it reminds guys to pick their friends over their potential or current girlfriends. The logic behind this code is that love interests come and go, but your friends will always be there for you. Girls, we should take this code to heart. If you find your true friends, then never forget about them when you get a boyfriend. Hold on to them for they are rare species in this world.
11. You Need to Maintain a Balance
I know I just said that you should prioritize your girl friends over a guy. But of course, you also need to learn to strike a balance between the relationships in your life. You can’t have your guy feeling neglected, can you?
12. Space Can Be Good
Teenage love, or any kind of love for that matter, demands a lot of time and emotional energy. It can take a toll on the people involved. Sometimes, it is good to give each other some space. Believe it or not, but people are like trees. Crowd them and you stunt their growth. Give them space and they grow to their full potential.
13. Your Life Won’t End with a Break up
Teenage love is not immune to break ups. And boy, can be they be messy and painful! But please believe me when I say that no matter how much you hurt, life doesn’t end when you break up with someone. Sure, it’s going to hurt and you’re going to be sad. But then you’re going to get sick of wallowing in self-pity, and you’re going to pick yourself up again. So go on, feel the pain of breaking up. Let the pain wash over you and then let all of it go. And even if you can’t let it go, you will get used to the pain. Life goes on and you will be stronger.
14. There Is More to Life than Boys
If your love life is not going so well as of the moment, then learn to focus your energy on other areas of your life. There’s your education, your friendships, your hobbies, and your family. Let’s not forget about yourself, your habits, and your personal growth. There truly is more to life than boys. Don’t let them, or the lack of them in your life, bring you down.
Your life as a modern teenager is complicated enough as it is, what with school, social, emotional, and mental problems, and juggling relationships with family and friends. Add teenage love into the equation, and you sometimes feel like you’re in over your head. But remember that in reality, things are not as bad as they seem in your head. Don’t let your emotions, hormones, and imagination get the best of you. Welcome the lessons that teenage love has to teach you. You will be a much better person for it. What other lessons do you think should be taught to or learned by teenage girls (or boys)?
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