One of the roughest times after a breakup is when your ex moves on. You probably felt a bit of nausea along with deep sadness when you discovered that he has found a new love interest. If you are feeling that way, I’m going to give you a few tips that can help you cope with the painful storm of emotions when your ex moves on.
Snapshot Survey
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Please subscribe for your personalized newsletter:
1. Accept Your Feelings
It’s normal to feel a combination of anger, confusion, jealousy, anxiety, depression and even rejection when your ex moves on. It doesn't help to fight these emotions, so just allow yourself to feel them. Realize that this is just a part of healing in the breakup process. These feelings won’t last forever so ride them out and they will pass.
2. Avoid Cyber Stalking
Oh I know it’s very tempting to hit Facebook or other social networking sites to find any information on the girl that has stolen your ex’s heart. But what good is it going to do? Once you find her profile, questions will instantly swirl through your mind like: What does he see in her? What does she have that you don’t? Are you better than her or is she better than you? Don’t do this to yourself. Instead of hunting her down on social networks and emotionally torturing yourself with those kinds of questions, go out and do something that makes you happy.
Frequently asked questions
3. Concentrate on You
Chances are if it was your ex that initiated the breakup and you are still in love with him, you focused on ways to get him back after the relationship ended. However, if he’s with someone new, you have to change the focus from him and the old relationship towards you. At this point in time, he’s obviously not interested in reconciliation because he’s busy in a new relationship. So instead of wasting thoughts on him and his new girl, start focusing on you.
***
When your ex moves on, it can be a difficult and painful experience. It can be hard to accept that the relationship you had is over and that your ex is now with someone else. It's important to remember that it's ok to feel sad and angry, and it's ok to take time to grieve. However, it's also important to focus on yourself and your own wellbeing.
One way to do this is to take some time to reflect on the relationship and your feelings. This can help you to gain perspective and to understand what went wrong and why the relationship ended. By understanding the reasons behind the breakup, you can learn from the experience and move forward.
Another way to focus on yourself is to take up a new hobby or activity. This can help to distract you from the pain of the breakup and can help you to meet new people. It can also help to boost your self-esteem and give you a sense of purpose.
It's also important to stay connected with friends and family. They can provide emotional support and help you to feel less alone. Talking to someone you trust can also help you to process your emotions and feelings.
4. Reasons for Breaking up
Create a list of all the reasons that your ex was not the right guy for you. Write down all the things you hated about being in that relationship as well. For example, write things like he has no fashion sense, he has too many female friends, he gets angry easily, he chews too loudly, you hate his favorite band, he doesn't have a romantic bone in his body. See? Any reason is fair game when you make your list; therefore, you should put everything you can think of on it. Once completed, tape this list somewhere that you can easily see it like on your bathroom mirror, refrigerator door or to your alarm clock. Seeing this list everyday will help reinforce your decision that this guy should stay in your past and help you look towards the future to someone way more awesome and better suited for you.
5. No Confrontations
If you and your ex had been together a long time, it's hard to understand how he can move on so quickly after the relationship ended. It is gut-wrenchingly painful to know that some other girl is filling the place you held in his life and they are making new memories together. Although you might be tempted to confront him because you wonder if he ever loved you since he moved on so quickly, it's one of the worst things you can do. Instead of confronting him, cut ties with him so you aren't stuck in relationship limbo waiting for him to end things with her.
6. When Panic Sets in
If you were hoping for reconciliation, you might feel a sense of panic when you first hear the disappointing news. This anxious, panicky feeling occurs because you think you have lost him forever to another woman. But the reality is there is no way to know if his new relationship will work out, so don’t let panic get the best of you. Don’t contact him to convince him that the two of you belong together because it will make you look desperate and only push him away.
7. Distract Yourself when Necessary
It’s common to have recurring thoughts of the new couple. You picture him doing all the things with her that the two of you used to do together. These thoughts are like vicious psychological daggers to the heart that reopen the breakup wound. The only way to overcome them is to distract yourself with things like listening to music, reading a book, learning a new hobby, going to the gym or watching a movie. The goal is to find fun distractions so your mind doesn't focus so much on your ex and his new relationship.
It’s going to take time to work through the emotions that hit you after you discover your ex has found a new love, but eventually you will get past this phase in a breakup. Do you have other tips you can share that helped you deal with your feelings after learning your ex moved on?
Comments
Asly: I'll try these. It's so difficult though.
Sunshine: I was with a guy for 6 years ... I found out recently he was sleeping around with some chick from my lectures and workshop can u believe that 😭 I ended it with him and I'm opening a new chapter in my life.
khiy: Going thru this now and it suckjs. Got into a heated text fight with my ex because he started saying how she so much better(personality,disposition ect..)then says" I'm talking about the way you react when upset she doesn't go psycho at me like you do" I was like wtf you liked it enough while we were together not to mention all his tears and begging when I'd ended things in the past. Funniest thing is he thinks he's got his perfect little angel all figured out after knowing her less than 2 months. Whatever thanks letting me vent. Loving this website!!
Gigi: My ex started avoiding me, out of no where he says he's too stressed and he had a lot going. On. Ofcourse I felt bad at the moment and thought it was for the best. 3 days later my friend sends me pictures he had posted on Instagram with his new gf. At that moment I was shocked, we had been together for 3 years and I thought he was going. To be the guy I was going to marry and it just broke me to see that. He texted me today after a month
Sunshine: As women I feel we prioritise our me too much.. it's so dangerous because we may spend years with them and not actually really know who they really are as a person .. honestly self love and girl power should come first before a lover x
Skb3867: My ex and I have been broken up for about 6.5 months....he just emailed me last week to tell me he has a new gf. We were together for about 2 years. I dont know why, but I am absolutely devastated about his new relationship. I hope I will get over this soon.
Amber: really needed this!!! just so hard trying to follow these tips
Keleta: He ended it about two months ago and he's already seeing someone. It's always more difficult for the ladies. The article is right just hard to follow.
Ksusha: just in time...
khiy: My only regret was breaking no contact. Had I not done that thinking I'd get more closure by telling him off I wouldn't have lost it on him. I just hate feeling like what we had may have been a lie and maybe he never was as deepkyt into me as he had portrayed. I guess worst part is thinking about how he always said he was attached and I was first woman to make him feel loved. He been thru so much in his life and issues with people "always leaving" him . needless to say I got sucked in and fell in love too fast :'(
:
Feedback Junction
Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge