Considering how easy it is to stalk someone online these days, breakups have become even harder! Guest contributor Kevin Thompson shares his tips on how you can stop obsessing over your ex after a breakup.
Even though it is easy to remove your ex from your life, it’s not so easy to remove him from your thoughts. If you just broke up and you can’t seem to stop obsessing over your ex, then these tips will definitely help you stop the obsession.
Out of sight, out of mind. As long as you keep seeing him and keep talking to him, you are not going to stop thinking about him. Go cold turkey. Remove him from all your social media. Stop calling him. Stop texting him. If he contacts you, ignore him. And don’t try to bump into him at his favorite coffee shop (‘cause that’s not fooling anybody).
Okay, so you’ve removed him from all social media. You’ve stopped calling him. You’ve stopped texting him. But suddenly, you get a message from him. And again, your mind goes into obsessive mode thinking about what he wants. You ignore him, but then he texts again. And then he starts calling. How the hell are you supposed to stop thinking about him if he keeps on calling you?
At this point, you should pick up his call and give him the «I need space and time" talk. Tell him that you’ll appreciate it if he doesn’t call or text for a while. Tell him you need space and time to deal with the breakup. If you say it with a firm tone, your ex is probably going to understand and stop contacting you as well.
I know it’s tempting to stay at home and watch «Love Actually» for the 17th time with a tub of ice cream. But it’s not going to help you with the breakup. Go out and do something fun. Do something exciting. Give yourself something to think about other than your ex. Call up your friends and plan a fun weekend with them. Even if you have to force yourself out of the couch, do it. It’ll be worth it.
Don’t try to avoid all the thoughts about your ex. In fact, give yourself some time every day to obsess over him. Set aside an hour or two to sit and think about him as much as you want. After that, you’re not allowed to obsess over him anymore for the rest of the day.
Obsessiveness is simply repeating the same thoughts over and over again without any conclusion. But if you were to organize your thoughts, your mind won’t have a reason to obsess over the same thing. A good way to do this is to keep a journal. Ask yourself questions like «What were the reasons he and I were not compatible?« "Why should we never get back together in the future?» And write them down. Once you write something down, your mind generally doesn’t feel the need to obsess over it.
Exercise is a great tool to get over a breakup. It releases endorphins, which is a chemical your body releases to make you happy. Join a gym, go for a swim, or play any sport you like. As long as your moving your booty, you are helping yourself get over the breakup and stop obsessing over your ex.
No matter what you do, thoughts about your ex are going to pop up from time to time. You have to learn to not let these thoughts affect you. Instead of trying to suppress the thoughts or run away from them, acknowledge them and let them go. Think of these thoughts as a cloud passing over your head. They come and if you don’t try to hold on to them, they will go.
Apart from all these tips, you have to believe in the power of time. Even if you feel miserable right now and you can’t stop thinking about your ex, you have to believe that you will feel better after a while. If not tomorrow, then next week; if not next week, then next month. But you will eventually stop obsessing over your ex and realize that you don’t need him in your life to be happy.
Have you ever obsessed over an ex? How did you stop and move on?