Having different religious views undoubtedly causes a lot of problems in the world. But what do you do if you're dating someone who is from a different faith or has no faith at all? This can make a relationship impossible if you're expected to date within your faith. But interfaith relationships can work perfectly if you respect each other's different views. Here are some ways to make a relationship work if you have different religious views …
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1. Respect
If you're in a relationship with someone of different religious views to your own, always respect their faith, even if you don't agree with it. Even if you think that yours are the correct views, they have different opinions. Each of you needs to respect and acknowledge that the other has the right to their views.
2. Don't Try to Convert Them
Your faith (or lack of) is obviously important to you. But however much you wish that your partner would share your views, you shouldn't try to convert them to your religion. They may decide to do so, but it has to be in their own good time and their own decision. Equally, if you are an atheist you shouldn't denigrate your partner's beliefs - if you're that against religion, you shouldn't be with someone who has a faith.
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3. Children
If you decide to have children in an interfaith relationship, you will need to discuss how you want them to be brought up. Will they be raised in one religion, or learn about both and decide when they're older? Again, it is important that they are brought up seeing that both parents have respect for the other's faith.
4. Discuss
Since faith can have a major impact on a relationship, it's essential to the health of the relationship to talk about the issues involved. Don't ignore them and hope it will all resolve itself. Talk about how your families react, where you would get married, and how you will raise your children.
5. Open Mind
Always keep an open mind about your partner's religion or atheism, even if you don't understand why they feel the way they do. If you have a strong faith, or no interest in religion at all, it can be perplexing or upsetting that your partner feels so differently. But accept that they have the right to their opinions, and that nobody is 'right' or 'wrong.'
6. Learn
Try to learn something about your partner's faith or lack of. That doesn't mean you have to change your views, just that you should try to see things from a different perspective. It will also be interesting to learn about a different faith; every religion (and atheism) has its merits, but should also be open to questioning.
7. Support Your Partner
Finally, support your partner and their right to hold different views. It can be very challenging if your family dislikes you dating outside their faith, but if you want the relationship to last you will need to defend your partner. If they face hostility, and you don't speak out, it will undermine the relationship.
Dating outside your faith is a challenge, but can also enrich your life. More interfaith relationships could actually be a very positive thing - we shouldn't forget that we're all human! Have you been in an interfaith relationship, and what were the challenges?
Comments
DDS: think I can do it. I told her I'd respect her Faith always. But, it's hard trying to go to hers. I don't think I can do it, especially since she automatically disregards my views, saying we can't be together if I don't change.
K_lynn1199: Me and my boyfriend are currently in this situation. I'm christian, and he's atheist. Seeing as my parents wouldn't be happy if they found out, I'm struggling myself. We've been together for almost 3 years, except, when we first got together, he was christian. Just recently he decided to become atheist and I found out the hard way, by inviting him over to watch 'Gods Not Dead'. He didn't tell me and said he was figuring out a way. I love him to death and I just need to follow this article
Monique: First of all, if I am a Christian and my partner is an atheist, then there's not going to be anything they can say to make me change how I feel about God. Being with someone of a different faith would be very difficult for me. Period. If I was in that situation, then I would listen to my partner and see why he chooses not to believe. I also would hope that he can see God on the inside of me so he would believe. This is a very important topic but it's something that should be discussed BEFORE marriage. It may sound a bit cliché but a family that prays together, stays together. Period. There's not compromising on that.
Phyllis: Good job @victoria!
Raven: I am non religious and probably identify most with humanism. My boyfriend is from a Catholic background, although he is non practising. He goes to church twice a year. He had asked me if I'd go with him but I politely declined and told him I respected his wish to go. I respect his views, although I don't agree with some of them. I believe that you should be brought up to make your own mind up about religion. If we go to the heights of getting married, it is something we need to discuss. Having a religious wedding Is my worst nightmare but I'm happy to compromise and incorporate aspects of both faiths.
Shumie: My boyfriend is a Muslim and am a Christian we respect each other's religions and have no problems between the two of us regarding that issue it's just his family they want him to get married to a Muslim
Juway: A very interesting post considering I am Muslim married in the faith however my husband do not believe in some aspects of the faith. I had a lot of expectations as having married in the faith to raise our kids in the faith. Clearly it brought a lot of heartache as I could not foresee outside of being a Muslim or bringing the kids without a faith. 30 years later, am still married with my husband but slowly I am coming to learn that faith is between oneself and it's creator. In ideal situation, I would love it to be that we share those aspects that holds dear to my heart but life isn't all a bed of roses. For those who are dating Muslims, it would be a good idea to truly understand what does moderate Islamic faith teaches as it may open to values that you may be open to accepting and sharing with your partners. I myself truly need to learn about my own Muslim faith and also all other faiths and those that do not believe in a particular faith as we are all humans under the same roof on this earth and we are all interdependent one way or the other. Really have enjoyed reading all others views and being able to express my own view of our interfaith marital 30 year journey. Thanks @all. All the best on your journeys.
Tiffany: Eh we are both satanists. No problems there.
Jessica: Thanks Alison
Mitota: Seriously as a practicing JW we respect what the bible says "marry only in the lord"
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