From Dating to Relationship – if you met a person that seems promising, this would, of course, be your desired path and you would, of course, hope it will be smooth sailing all the way through. Well, I do hope you are so lucky although I must stress that things rarely happen by themselves. After all, even the lottery winners had to buy a ticket which pretty much means they had to invest something to be able to hope something even better will eventually happen to them. Going from dating to relationship is also a process that requires your attention, effort, energy, interaction and, sometimes, even the ability to be your own shrink, best friend and a fortune teller all in the same time. Zany, huh? Well, take a look at these 7 situations you will find yourself in while taking that often bumpy road from dating to relationship and read all about how to react and what to expect:
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1. Expectations
You can’t grab a guy for his collar, shake him a few times and say, “Listen, dude, do you mean business or am I just wasting my time here?” That’s the beauty of dating- you never know how serious it’s going to turn out. Sometimes that transition from dating to relationship goes so smoothly, you don’t even notice it when it happens and, sometimes things just take a different turn. Trying to “make it serious” is a universal thing, something both guys and girls do when they find a person they like and, although I am all for being honest with your feelings I don’t think that should give you or him the excuse to start pushing it. Be patient and show your date how much you enjoy the moments you spend together but leave him or her plenty of room to figure out if he/she feels the same way for you. Some people just need more time so pushing things might ruin something that could have been a wonderful relationship.
2. First Sex
First sex is also one of those critical moments that can make or break what should turn or already is a relationship. Well… sex really has nothing to do with it, it how people act after it that matters the most. Now, I can’t tell you when is a good time to do it and neither can your BFF, sister or that relationship-smart colleague because it depends on you and you only. I can, however, give you one advice and that is to sleep with your boyfriend or girlfriend when you feel ready and to do it because you want to, not because you are trying to achieve something. Sleeping with somebody because you have been told this will help make things serious is wrong and not a good way to move forward!
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3. Meeting the Parents
Some people have a very strict policy about which dates are allowed to be presented to their parents for “further evaluation” while others don’t think this is a very big deal and will let you meet their folks even if they aren’t really developing any strong feelings for you. What I’m trying to say is this – don’t act like it’s a big deal, until it’s clear it really IS a big deal. The “I’ve met your parents and now I own you” act might scare your date and bring your train that had finally started moving from dating to relationship to a halt. Now, you don’t want that – do you?
4. Interests and Goals
Similar interests and long term goals are usually a must in order for dating to start turning into a meaningful relationship. You can’t travel with somebody if you’re not going in the same direction, now – can’t you? Interests, hobbies, favorite sports and other things that will help you determine if you two “clicked” are something you’ll be able to talk about really soon while long term goals, plans and expectations require more time. People who seem completely different can make a wonderful couple too, so don’t get depressed if your date seems like a total mismatch. Trying out new things can be a lot of fun too, and you might even find something you both can enjoy, or find a mutually satisfying compromise.
5. Others
Casually dating somebody is not the same as being in a meaningful relationship so the opinions of others might start to matter more. Your best friends, parents, siblings and maybe others whose opinions you value probably have something to say and that doesn’t necessarily need to be good words. Can you handle that? Would you still like your date if your mom or a BFF says he’s “umm… nice…”?
6. This is the Real Me…
We all tend to present ourselves in the best light which sometimes leads to disappointment so once it’s evident you and your date have moved on from dating to a relationship, his/her real face and all those flaws he or she has kept carefully hidden are bound to start showing. If you don’t want your relationship to end, you must react immediately. Believe me on this one as I’ve been very famous for my ability to hold back until I can’t do anything but emotionally and physically nuke my relationships. Your significant other has to know what he or she is doing wrong, you have to give him/her change to at least try to deal with those bad habits. Some people simply don’t want to believe they are not perfect, they don’t want to compromise… but, that’s the risk you’d have to take.
We all tend to present ourselves in the best light which sometimes leads to disappointment, so once it’s evident you and your date have moved on from dating to a relationship, his/her real face and all those flaws he or she has kept carefully hidden are bound to start showing. If you don’t want your relationship to end, you must react immediately. Believe me on this one as I’ve been very famous for my ability to hold back until I can’t do anything but emotionally and physically nuke my relationships. Your significant other has to know what he or she is doing wrong, you have to give him/her a chance to at least try to deal with those bad habits. Some people simply don’t want to believe they are not perfect, they don’t want to compromise… but, that’s the risk you’d have to take.
7. Things Aren’t Moving Forward
The “thing” the two of you have going on can go from dating to relationship only if both sides agree so if you have been casually dating for quite some time now and he/she still hasn’t mentioned the “R” word , it’s time to have a conversation about what the future holds. I’d test the waters, myself, and choose a less direct way to find out more about my dates take on our relationship but if you’ve moved on from being patient and trying not to push it to feeling like you two are going to be casually dating until you both die of old age, I suggest you better bring the topic up!
And, ladies and gents, let us not forget one thing – dating should be fun, so enjoy it while it lasts. And believe me, when you finally go from dating to relationship, when you start thinking marriage, move in together and start having twice as more laundry to wash, hang to dry and iron, you’ll find yourself wishing you can go back to dating at least for a day or two! Now excuse me while I run off to load the washer! But, before I go, there’s one thing I’d like to ask you – which one of these situations do you find the most difficult to handle and do you think the transition from dating to relationship should run smoothly on its own or the partners should be the ones responsible for steering the love boat in the right direction?
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