love

8 Ways We Communicate with Our Partner ...

Diana Trotter

8 Ways We Communicate with Our Partner ...

In relationships a high level of communication is one of the most important things you can share with your partner. Sharing what happened at work, what the kids did at school, if you are having a bad day, what you love most about each other, and even talking politics! Building communication and what you have in common is a great way to build a stronger relationship and Janelle from Inward Oasis™ is back with us to share** 8 Ways We Communicate with Our Partner** and how it can help your relationship grow stronger...
How to Communicate...
There are numerous ways we can communicate with our partners. You may not have considered some of the ones I am about to share. We do not all communicate the same; therefore we should not expect our partner to communicate in a specific way. We need to learn how he/she communicates best and work with that. At the same time, it is important for both partners to make an effort to meet in the middle. Communication and adjusting our way of communicating should not be one-sided. It takes both of us wanting to communicate to truly re-open and/or keep those lines open.

Below I am going to touch briefly on eight different types of communication. Consider how many of these you incorporate into your relationship. If they aren’t there, could you pay more attention to them and increase them? Changing just one aspect of your relationship ultimately changes the entire relationship. This means that one by one you can transform your relationship. All communication can build trust and a deeper bond in your relationship, but I believe that a good combination of the different types is very important for both of you and for your relationship as a whole.

1 Talking...

Talking is the most obvious way we communicate with each other and perhaps, may be the only way some consider when discussing communication. Yet, there are far more ways that we communicate with each other than just talking. Talking is not easy for everyone to do and we need to take that into account when considering how best to communicate with our partners. Does your partner interrupt you when you are talking? Do you change the subject and cut-off your partner? Do you feel that your partner really listens when you talk? Another factor to take into consideration is that the meaning of words can vary even for two people who are very close.

2 Body Language...

Body Language... Paying attention to our partners’ body language can tell us if he/she is interested in what we have to say, if he/she is bored, if he/she is angry and so on. Some obvious signs include when our partner folds his/her arms, turns away from us, does the eye roll, draws a long breath, etc. More positive body language may include leaning into us, making eye contact, nodding the head. When we pay attention to our partners’ body language and even our own when listening to our partner we can discover a lot more about our level of communication.

3 Eye Contact...

Do you have good eye contact with your partner? I briefly mentioned that under body language, but it can be such a big way to communicate that I wanted to pull it out separately too. How about if we are at a function and we are more than ready to leave? We catch our partner’s eye and silently send him/her the message with just our look. Other times simply making eye contact is enough when we encounter something hilarious, but it is an inappropriate time to laugh or we are shocked about something, but can’t say so out loud. This silent communication between two people is exceptionally powerful.

4 Texting...

Modern technology has changed the way we communicate with family, friends and yes, even our partners. It is important to consider whether or not we use texting to our benefit. Texting a loving or even sexy message during the day to our lover can be sweet and fun. Sending a text to “freaking stop and get milk” with no other message can seem rude and thoughtless. Unless we use all caps or exclamation points or add words or symbols of love texting remains flat with no emotion. We also must be aware of responding to someone else’s text while we are supposed to be focused on our partner – such as while having dinner together.
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5 Email...

This is not that different than texting except that this is an opportunity to write a good deal more. In fact, this can replace the sweet handwritten love letter of a couple of decades ago. We can add fancy artwork or pictures to our emails. We can use different colors and fonts. Many of us receive our email on our phones too – so we have quick and easy access to each other’s messages.

6 Webcam...

Nowadays if we are going to be apart for a few days or even a few months, we can use webcam to see each other. Many years ago when our partners would go off to war we had to hand write letters and then wait weeks, maybe even months, before we would hear back from them. Now, not only can we talk on our cell phones at times, use email or perhaps texting, we can use webcam to actually see them. We take this for granted now, but we should remember just how amazing technology really is in helping us communicate with our loves.

7 Touch...

Touching our partner is certainly a way to communicate. Let me give you an example – let’s say your partner becomes upset with someone and a conversation begins to become heated between them. You could gently lay your hand on your partner’s arm or back. He/she will know you are there to support and perhaps calm him/her. Another time we can use touch is when we pass each other in the hall or in the kitchen. We can simply offer a light touch of the hand or a quick hug as we pass by. Those light touches let our partners know that way love them and want to touch them.

8 Physical Intimacy...

I am talking skin on skin contact. Obviously, love making falls under this area, but we should remember to consider massage too. In regards to love making, it is my hope that we all learn about our partners’ bodies – what they like, what feels good to them. We then know where to touch our partners and in what way to communicate our desires – this takes time, attention and practice. But, when we consider massage as communication too we can learn even more. We can explore our partners’ bodies and while we learn about them we can show our love to them. This may be whole body massages - done naked they just might lead to a little steamier massage if you know what I mean - or this may be a simple foot rub or neck rub. No matter the intensity these kinds of physical intimacy tell your partner how you feel about him/her.

Keep on the lookout for further discussion on the topic of communication. I will soon be sharing with you about the importance of communication as well as typical problem areas. Guess what? You are not alone!

Janelle Alex, Ph.D., Co-Founder of Inward Oasis™. Relationship Guide, Spiritual Guide, & International Radio Show Co-Host – The Relationship Guides