I’m no dating expert and sure don’t make it a routine to give out dating advice, with the exception of these basic qualities to look for in your future husband, which I think every girl should know. Some of these are generic ideas, while others we may not think about as much. I know I certainly didn’t listen to my mother’s advice on dating as a teenager, and I’m starting to rethink that decision! No wonder my relationships didn’t last. I didn’t know what to look for in a mate, or even a boyfriend. Keep these 7 basic ideas as must-have qualities to look for in your future husband, so you don’t have to take as long to figure them out as I did. If you’re on the dating hunt like me, be sure that your standards are set, but also give way for a little wiggle room outside of these qualities. While no one is perfect, these ideas will at least give you a baseline of what to look for.
One of the most obvious qualities to look for in your future husband is commitment. No, I’m not just talking about in your relationship either. Is he committed to honesty, to his relationships with friends and family, to his job, and to his word? Does he help others and stick to promises he makes people? Is he committed to showing up on time to your dates, to only dating you and to not act as if he’s not your mate when he’s away from you? Commitment is as much of an attitude as it is an action.
Is your man affectionate towards you and does he love spending time with you? Great! Is he needy and lacking in self esteem? Not so great! You need a man that is confident in himself and has control of his emotions. Someone who is excessively needy is not healthy, nor emotionally stable. Someone who is rude to other people is also not emotionally stable. Remember, your guy needs to be kind to others, and should want to be around you without acting like he can’t breathe if he doesn’t see you every night. He also doesn’t need to consistently be up and down with emotions or be incapable of handling common life problems. If he is, he may be unstable, which may lead you to acting more like his parent than his mate.
One of the most important things to look for in your future husband is that he is down with any look you choose to wear to express yourself. While I think all of us ladies should be keeping it classy when we dress, I also think our guys should be cool with us not wearing makeup if we choose, or not requiring we look a certain way to be seen with them. If you're having a jeans and t-shirt day, your guy shouldn't care. He shouldn’t care whether you wear makeup or not, or tell you to dress a certain way or wear your hair a certain way. It is fine if he likes you looking nice, but he shouldn't tell you what to do. He should like you for you, and of course, he gets bonus points if he likes us when we look a little disarrayed when we wake up in the morning!
I haven’t ever had a guy to tell me to lose weight, but I have had one put me down for being thin. Sadly, I didn’t see this as a bad trait, but more of a concern issue. Either way, he was always putting me down for it, and it ultimately made me feel badly about myself. Don’t let any man tell you what you should weigh. While I think we should all be at a healthy weight, we should also do it for ourselves and not someone else. Your husband is the last person you want telling you what he wants you to weigh. Concern is one thing; demands are another. He can be concerned for you and express that, but shouldn't be hurtful, rude or ignore you for the way you are.
Though your future husband does not need to be rich, he does need to be financially smart. Is he capable of doing bills? Does he have a lot of debt? If he has a lot of debt, does he have an active, smart plan to pay it back? Is he able to provide for you and does he have a five or ten year plan? Trust me, money can’t buy love, but love can’t buy you money either. I watched my mother go through a horrible divorce after my father ruined everything for my family financially, causing us to lose everything at an early age. My father was a great man, but he wasn’t good with money. After he learned how to be, he was a different person, but my mother knows now that when you get married, you should first make sure all the bills are taken care of and finances are in the open. Secrets ruin marriages, and sadly, so does money.
Of course we want our man to show us affection, but affection is more than hugs and kisses. It is also more than gifts, which though those are nice, they can’t make you as happy as your man showing affection in more important ways. For instance, does he want to do things with you? Is he aware of when you aren’t feeling good, or are having a bad day? Is he considerate of these things and does he give you attention to help you along? These are important qualities to look for in a man because when he’s all you’ve got in your life, you’re going to need him to step up to the plate and be there for you. Make sure he’s attentive because if he isn’t now, he isn’t going to be later!
Here’s a quality most of us kind of let slide when it comes to qualities to look for. Is your guy motivated to take care of himself, his home, his belongings and his time? Does he lie around all day watching television and playing video games, or does he take care of his place, his car, etc? Is he motivated to fix up a house repair if need be, or look for a better job to provide for himself and you? If not, then he may not be for you. If you seek someone who has drive, be careful not to seek someone who is driven beyond you, but also make sure they are motivated to make the most of their life where it is as well.
If you are married, feel free to chime in! Since I’m not, these qualities are only my ideas and my must-have qualities, along with the requirements of many women I know. What is your requirement for your future husband?