Wondering how to deal when your boyfriend wants a threesome? You’ve been together for a little while, things are getting kind of serious, and all of a sudden your boyfriend tells you that he wants to have a threesome. How should you react? How should you take that? Does he want to sleep with someone else in particular and just using the threesome as an excuse? Or does he just want to explore some kinky options with you by his side as his number one boo? Here's how to deal when your boyfriend wants a threesome.
1. Be Direct
No matter what your decision is, you need to tell him directly and confidently either way. If you are down with the request, then make it known and lay out your ground rules, and if you are not into it, then make sure that he knows this because he will only keep trying to set it up if he thinks there is some hope. This is one of the best answers for how to deal when your boyfriend wants a threesome.
2. Discuss Aftermath
He might just be thinking about the sex, but you need to get him to consider the aftermath of what a threesome might do to your relationship. What if he starts to feel jealous? What if he starts to develop feelings for the third party? All of these kinds of things need to be addressed before you make the decision to go for it.
3. Communicate
Don’t just go along with things in an attempt to make him happy. You need to be able to communicate your feelings without fear of being judged or being seen as a ‘party pooper’. If it makes you uncomfortable, then it shouldn’t be something your boyfriend pursues if he truly respects you.
4. Make the Rules
If you agree to do it, then demand that you are the one who makes all the rules, not him. He is lucky enough to have a girlfriend who indulges his fantasies, the least he can do is allow you to determine what you can and cannot do.
5. Pick the Third Party
If he wants it, you should be the one who gets to decide who joins you in the bedroom. It could be another guy, it could be another girl, the main thing is that you make the decision in order for you to feel most comfortable.
Frequently Asked Questions
- My boyfriend wants a threesome. What should I do?
- First, take a deep breath. It's totally normal to feel surprised or even uncomfortable. Start by talking openly with your boyfriend about your feelings. Communication is key.
- Is it okay to say no to a threesome?
- Absolutely! Your comfort and consent are the most important things. If you're not into it, it's perfectly okay to say no.
- How do I know if I'm okay with having a threesome?
- Take your time to think about it. Imagine how you might feel during and after. If there's any doubt or discomfort, it's probably not the right choice for you.
- What if my boyfriend keeps asking for a threesome?
- Set clear boundaries with him. Let him know how you feel and why you're not comfortable. If he respects you, he will understand.
- We both want a threesome. How do we find the right person?
- Make sure you and your boyfriend are on the same page about what you're looking for. It's important to find someone who fully consents and understands everyone's boundaries. Apps specifically for this purpose or open conversation in your social circles might be options.