Going through a divorce is never easy and that’s especially true if you’ve been financially dependent on your husband. But you can and will get through this difficult time. I’ve been through a divorce myself and these are some bits of wisdom I learned along the way. I hope they help you get back on your feet financially and emotionally very soon.
Step one is to evaluate your financial situation. You need to see where things stand and what you have to work with. Be sure to include every debt and income, means of savings and assets you have. Don’t panic if you don’t have a lot on the positive side of finances. This situation is temporary and you’ll recover from it in time.
If you’re left with a stack of debt, and that’s often the case after a divorce, then that’s okay. Make a plan to recover from your current financial situation. It may be slow and that’s okay, too. It can feel very much like starting over but there’ll be light at the end of the tunnel and that’s important to remember. It can sometimes help to start working toward paying off your lowest debts first.
When I went through a divorce, I had to make some decisions about what I wanted my future to be and you’ll have to do the same thing. Are you content in your current career? Would it be beneficial to consider going back to school or changing jobs? Even if you feel trapped in your current job or situation, you aren’t. There’s always hope.
It’s very easy to neglect yourself during the troubled times in a marriage. You’ve probably forgotten a lot about who you are. This is the time to get back in touch with the beautiful person that you are. Rediscover what you do and don’t like and what your personal goals in life are. This is one of the wonderful, magical things that comes out of a divorce: rediscovering yourself!
I say this with all seriousness. Treat yourself with special kindness. You’ve been through a tremendous ordeal in going through a divorce. Treat yourself to small luxuries such as your favorite coffee. Take time for small pleasures such as watching the sunset or reading a book instead of always pushing yourself to take care of chores. These little things mean a lot.
You may not have wanted this divorce. You may be utterly and completely heartbroken. Or you may be on the flip side of the coin and be thrilled to be out. Whichever way it is for you, this is your current situation so it’s best to look for the best in it. There are some good things about being single such as not being burdened with as many household chores and always getting to watch what you want instead of sharing the remote.
It’s so very easy to feel as if the years you were married were a waste. I remember that feeling well! But, you can move past that. Reflect on the good things that came of that time in your life. It could be that you have beautiful, precious children from your marriage or that you learned some very valuable life lessons or maybe even something as simple as being taught a skill from one of your ex’s family members. Whatever it is, appreciate the good things.
These are 7 steps to help you get back on your feet after a divorce. Are you going through a divorce? What’s helping you deal right now?