For all you single chicks out there like me, there's no need to fret when you can’t find “the one” for you by a certain age. The perfect guy takes time to find sometimes, and that isn’t always a bad thing! Finding the right one for you make take a little weeding. You know what I mean, right? Weeding through the shrubs and thorns to get to the roses? Keep these important things below in mind when you can’t find “the one”, and hold your pretty little head up high!
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1. You’re Single for a Reason
The first thing to keep in mind when you can’t find “the one” is to remember you’re single for a reason, good or bad. This isn’t a knock towards you; it’s just the truth. Perhaps you’re not into the dating scene and aren’t putting yourself out there. Hun, he’s not going to come knocking at your door! Join a club, do something within a hobby you enjoy, take a new class, or if you’re brave enough, try online dating. If you’re already into the dating scene and still running up short, remember, there is a reason you haven’t found someone yet. It could because the right one just hasn’t found his way into your life yet, it’s not the right time for you to be in a relationship, or you’re hanging out at social places that don’t necessarily emit “the perfect one” atmosphere. I personally don’t believe in hanging out in bars and clubs to find the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with, but that’s just me!
2. You’re Afraid of Intimacy
Maybe you’re not scared of dating, but it seems to stop there. You shy away from getting close to someone, or letting someone in. Even if you don’t realize you’re doing this, it will keep you from finding the guy of your dreams- and very quickly at that. Opening yourself up to a serious relationship is scary stuff, but it is the only way you’ll ever really find “the one”.
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3. Better to Wait than to Worry
When waiting for the right one to come along, remember that waiting is much better than worrying about when you’ll find him, or spending all your time with someone you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with and worrying about that. If you’re with a guy you know isn’t the one for you, and worried about how to handle things, be honest with him and yourself. You can’t really find the one until you let go of someone holding you back from doing that. If you’re single and still lonely, remember it’s better to wait than to worry. Just enjoy the process and quit worrying so much.
4. Don’t Worry What Others Think
When you’re nearly 30 and go to a family dinner, trust me, everyone always wants to know, “Have you met anyone yet?” For the 100th time, no I haven’t, and I’m actually fine with it. Get used to friends and family questioning you about this. They think it’s their job, and it doesn’t mean you’ll die alone just because another Thanksgiving has arrived and you have to break their hearts and tell them you’re still single. The world will move on and they will adapt. Don’t worry what anyone else thinks.
5. Your Eggs Are Fine
How many of you have heard that your fertile eggs start dying at a certain age? Many women freak out over this if they haven’t found the right one. They fear of getting old and never having kids or a family. Girl, you’ve got to let your timeline go! I’d rather wait until I was 50 years old if that meant finding the one that I was meant to truly love. Don’t rush your heart away in the process, and by the way, your eggs are fine for now!
6. He Might Be Closer than You Think
Have you ever considered on your search for the perfect guy that he might be closer than you think? It’s true! Your dream guy could be just around the corner and you don’t even know it. Or, he might even be someone you just thought was a friend. Consider all the relationships in your life with men right now. Do any have a possible chance of going anywhere past friendship? It’s something to ponder on when looking for the right guy out there.
7. You Deserve to Wait
Everyone probably already tells you this, but I had to add it for good measure. You deserve to wait just a little bit longer if it means you’ll find the right guy later. Don’t spend your life with someone to fill a void, and remember to put yourself out there. Then, after that, wait until truly the right one does come along.
If you’re single like me, do you worry about finding the right one? I don’t because I know it’s worth the wait. Sure, I don’t want to be alone forever, but I no longer fear not getting married by the time I’m 30. What about you? How do you deal with not finding “the one”?
Comments
Aya: I hate getting the "where is the boyfriend?" question and it sucks when you start hearing about people you knew & grew up with all getting engaged, married, having children. This past week about 5 people I know got engaged, married or had their first child. It's a bit discouraging but I'm optimistic enough to think that all this waiting will have a great and rewarding payoff...hopefully.
Cherry: made me feel better :) thanks :)
Amuu: Well i found my one in a quite small age u know? I think u dont hv to go finding him.. This is very very tru taht the rite guy comes to u urself. In my case we were friends since long bt neva really had felt taht way abt eachother but them as our friendship grew he began to care for me giving me time asking me whether i hv eaten properly or not.a and tehn one day while i was crying actually and he cudnt see tears in my eyes and he started crying too. :( and at that pount he said it. He said i love u. And i just automatically stopped crying as if its all i ever wanted and my life was a living heaven now. And it is. Problems keep coming and coming but the best part is i have him to hold my hand.. So ladies wait for it. Hes gonna be worth the wait.
Aberal: Nice :) It helps the single girls:) thank you a lot
Abbey: I love this!
jbrytni: @Aya, I feel like that too.
TheYellow1: Stop looking for the "one"... Be open to the possibility of love in general, I guarantee in time he will come.
Latoya: I agree never feel you have rush into a relationship .. It will happen when it's suppose too..focusing on career and yourself is much more important.
Magali: I want to find someone when I'm done getting my bachelors, I'm not ridiculously desperate or super lonely. Plus good things come to those who wait. :) I don't really like the people who have a bf/gf just to say they have one.
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