8 Important Marriage Lessons You Should Learn before Remarrying ...

Alison

8 Important Marriage Lessons You Should Learn before Remarrying ...
8 Important Marriage Lessons You Should Learn before Remarrying ...

Before tying the knot for the second time, it's wise to learn some marriage lessons. It's not always someone's fault when relationships break up, but you certainly don't want to repeat mistakes. Yet if you don't start your second marriage wiser from the first one, you risk no. 2 going wrong as well. Here are the marriage lessons you need to have learned before your second wedding …

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1

What Went Wrong

The first one of the marriage lessons you should learn is to identify what went wrong in your first marriage. It might seem obvious what led to the split, but sometimes you need to ask yourself some tough questions. Look at your own behaviour, and consider what you could have done differently.

2

Falling for a Type

We've all heard about how some women fall for bad boys. Certainly it's not unusual to have a "type." Think about whether your ex-husband and other relationships have been similar. If so, it may be the case that you fall for the wrong type of guy for you. If your current partner is the same type - think twice before tying the knot.

3

All about Me

Everybody has failed relationships. It's part of life, and it's through things going wrong that you learn what matters to you. So take a long look at yourself - but not in a critical way. Don't beat yourself up about making mistakes. Rather, try to work out what kind of person you are and what's important to you.

4

What Commitment Takes

It takes two to make a relationship work, and both partners need to be totally committed to each other. Perhaps your first marriage didn't work out because one of you wasn't really committed. Or maybe you were too young to appreciate how much effort it takes. Make sure that both of you really understand the work you need to put in.

5

Does Marriage Matter?

Another question to ask yourself before remarrying is whether marriage really matters to you. Like having children, you should never let yourself be pressured into getting married. Perhaps you're happier without the legal aspect. Getting married again when you aren't that committed to the ideal makes a second divorce more than likely.

6

It's OK to Be Alone

Never enter into a relationship because you're afraid of being alone. When your first marriage breaks up it can come as a terrible shock. After all, you expected it to last forever. But it's ok to be on your own. You can cope. You're stronger than you think! Make sure you are strong emotionally as you head for your second marriage.

7

What You Look for

What matters to you in life? What are your goals? Do you want children? Ask yourself what is important to you, and make sure that your husband-to-be either wants the same as you, or is ready to support you in achieving your aims. And never rush into marriage because you are afraid that time is running out for you to start a family.

8

Confidence

Before remarrying, you really do need to be confident - not only in yourself, but confident that the marriage will work. Nobody wants a second marriage to fail like the first one! If you've taken what you needed to learn from your first marriage, then your second marriage has a good foundation.

The statistics suggest that second marriages are more likely to fail than first ones. Going through a divorce leaves you wondering if you'll ever dare risk a second wedding. But many second marriages do happily work out, so don't be disheartened. Learn some important lessons and give your second marriage a solid foundation. Have you any sound advice for readers contemplating a second marriage?

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Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

I've never been married but I find that these tips are good for even just dating. Especially the different type of guy. I am a country girl and I'm usually attracted to the cowboys but I started liking a guy who WAY different than my past boyfriends and decided to go for and I couldn't be happier! He is a gamer and computer person but he loves learning about my lifestyle and I love learning about his and his games and how complex technology really is. We are completely opposite but we are so great together! I ventured out of my box and I am beyond happy! I have learned from my past relationships and engagements and am doing things differently and it is really paying off with a fantastic relationship! Love these tips!

I swore never again... 4 years later, I'm saying "I do" again... In 17 days :)

I'm just going through a separation because I was in a physically, emotionally, sexually and financially abusive marriage. I can't even bear to read this article right now, but I know some day it's going to be exactly what I need to hear.

I am also going through a separation, fighting hard for it too. One thing I can say is, that if you don't have any healthy marriages to look up to, don't be afraid to join an online community that focuses on marriage, or even seek advice from a boss or older co-worker when you are stuck. Don't let it get to the point where things may come crashing down around you because you didn't know how to handle a problem. Don't let problems go unsolved. If you plan to get remarried, or even married for the first time, don't let your problems go unsolved! Always always communicate. If you aren't good at it, learn how. Practice.

@Adriana: I went through all that too, but after four years I got married, and I married a GOOD man this time! Life is wonderful! Keep on working on yourself, love yourself, get inspiration&strength from books, articles, even professionals if u can afford it. (I couldn't pay for them and I still made it:) Make new friends, try other activities you might like. You already made the first step, which is the hardest :) Once you get to recover yourself and your joy, the right guy will show up :)

I had my heart broke for the very first time in my life when my marriage failed, I will tell all of you this, you will be OK and it does get easier. Take time to find yourself and figure out who you are. It is perfectly fine to be alone for a while so you can regroup. I was married 13 1/2 years when he decided the grass looked a little greener and traded his Cadillac for a pinto :)

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