We've all heard that long list of old fashioned marriage rules that we must follow for a happy marriage. As it turns out, some of those are long past their expiration date. While those old fashioned marriage rules may work for some, they aren't set in stone and may not be right for you. I've broken quite a few of these myself, and my guy and I are still perfectly happy.
1. Fighting Leads to Divorce
Divorce comes from having issues you can't resolve, not from fighting. It's healthy to disagree in a relationship. I hate it when I have a tiff with my guy and suddenly people start whispering about divorce. This is one of the absolute silliest old fashioned marriage rules. You're not always going to agree with each other on everything, just argue and work it out. You don't have a problem unless your entire marriage is nothing but knock-out, drag-out fights.
2. Never Sleep Separately
I've seen couples become absolutely miserable because they feel like they're doing something wrong if they sleep separately. Sometimes even the best couples have to sleep in separate beds due to a restless sleeper, snoring or illness. It doesn't mean you don't love each other. It just means you both deserve a good night's rest. Just make sure to spend some quality time together when you're not asleep and you have nothing to worry about.
3. Only Vacation Together
While you'll probably take most of your vacations together, it's okay to take a few apart as well. Maybe you want to go out for a girls' weekend or he needs some time with the guys. Even as a couple, you still need to take some time for yourself. I don't feel betrayed or lonely if my guy wants to go skiing with his friends because I'd rather head to the beach with the girls. Ideally, try to take separate vacations at the same time, so no one feels left out.
4. Don't Go to Bed Angry
I really hate this one. You can't just magically get over your anger. I'm one of those who likes to take a break and let my mind calm down. I'm not always ready to work it out just because it's bed time. In fact, I usually think more clearly after a good night's sleep. Don't put that much pressure on yourselves. Call it a draw for the night and sleep away your anger.
5. Share All Your Hobbies
I'm in a relationship, but I don't have to be a carbon copy of my guy. I do share some of his hobbies and vice versa. I also have hobbies that are mine alone and so does he. We talk about them with each other and that's how we share them. I don't like video games and he doesn't like playing music. Instead of trying to force it on each to be a perfect couple, we use it as quality time to ourselves and enjoy talking about it later.
6. Keep Things Exciting
How often do you hear people talk about needing to spice up their relationship? Odds are, you're both just comfortable with your daily routines. While you should spend some time together, if you're both happy, then let things be. It's great to try new things sometimes, but you don't have to do it everyday. Routines can be a good thing. They give you time to relax instead of stressing about finding that next, exciting thing to try. Basically, if it isn't broke, don't go nuts trying to fix it.
7. The Honesty Policy
I'm not saying you should make a habit of lying to your spouse, but do you really want them to be completely honest all the time? What if you really love your new hair style, but he thinks it's just “okay”? Odds are, he'll tell you that you look great and leave it at that so he doesn't hurt your feelings. You're happy and he's happy. It's okay to tell a little white lie occasionally or omit details sometimes. Just don't lie about the big things or make it a regular thing.
8. No More Friends of the opposite Sex
I've actually had friends think my guy was cheating on me because they saw him out with another girl. I have several guy friends and he has several girl friends. It's perfectly alright for you both to have friends of the opposite sex. It doesn't mean you're looking for romance elsewhere or that you're not happy in your relationship. If you or your guy are the jealous type, take the time to get to know each other's friends so you'll be comfortable with each other having opposite sex friends.
9. It's over when the Spark Dies
After you've been together for a while, that whole puppy love, every moment is exciting stage goes away. If you still want to be around them and they make you insanely happy, you're truly in love. Remember that relationships start with a spark, but lasting relationships are more like a fire that never goes out. You don't need the spark anymore. You built a fire and now it's all about working together to keep that fire burning.
Odds are, you've heard most of these old marriage rules yourself. Don't let them change your relationship. Do what makes both of you happy and don't be afraid to break the rules. Which old fashioned marriage rules have you broken?