Long distance relationships are HARD! Guest contributor Belinda Ma shares some common problems that plague us all at the start of a LDR.
At some point in our lives one of our relationships might be forced to turn into a long distance relationship because of work or well… life. Here are some common problems you should prepare yourself for when you start a long distance relationship and some suggestions on how you could overcome them and make things work.
The purpose of being in a relationship is to share experiences with each other, but it could be quite difficult if you guys have different schedules. Your partner might have spent half the day at work already and you’ve just gotten out of bed. Now a lot of people tell couples that are in a long distance relationship to talk daily and that’s not a bad thing if you guys have the time, but let me tell you through experience; you sleeping at 5 in the morning and your partner waking up at the crack of dawn isn’t going to work out in the long run. I’m not suggesting you don’t talk at all but maybe cutting it down to twice or thrice a week is better. Of course you could always leave him sweet text messages to look forward to.
It’s pretty common that when your family and friends find out you’re in a long distance relationship they start convincing you that you could find someone better and closer. They just don’t seem to understand that with today's technology, it’s not that bad. The relationship is between the two of you, and as long as you and your partner are happy there is nothing wrong.
Looking at couples everywhere around you can make you feel lonely quite often. Accept that your partner is thousands of miles away. The one thing that I find helpful to avoid constantly feeling lonely is friends. Also find a hobby to keep you occupied when you two aren’t able to talk.
After a while your conversations could get a little dull and repetitive. Do any of these sound familiar? “How was your day?’, “Anything special happen?”, “That’s good.” Conversations usually get a little dull after a while. Try expanding your subjects of conversation, ask open ended questions or teach each other something new. In a long distance relationship communication is the key to a long term relationship.
Everyone over-thinks, but over-thinking can end up ruining a perfectly good relationship if you're not careful. Like every relationship; you have to learn to trust each other. Once you start demanding constant updates on what they’re up to 24 hours a day, you’re basically pushing your partner away from you. A suggestion, when you start to overthink step back a bit, calm down and try distracting yourself by doing something else. It is really important to respect your partner.
When you fight through messaging, remember that context could be misread and usually there is never a resolution. When too many arguments are left unresolved, it could take a toll on your relationship. What I’m trying to say is even though fights are normal in a relationship, you don't have the liberty to talk to each other face to face and physically kiss and makeup up. So try not to fight through text messages. Doing it over the phone keeps misunderstandings at bay.
It seems hard to make a long distance work. Sometimes because it’s so intangible you lose hope and you don’t see an end. Don’t give up! Discuss a ‘closing the distance’ plan, and make plans to see each other. Talk about events you guys can go to, places you can go together, things you can do. Don’t just stay at the stage of saying ‘I love you’ and making empty promises.
These points sound bad but stick it out and things will get better. That trick to making a long distance relationship work is to be supportive. When you finally see them it is completely worth it. Being in a long distance relationship myself, you do cherish every single moment you have together. What do you guys think of long distance relationships? Also what other common problems occur in a long distance relationship?
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