We’ve all heard some dating advice to ignore, right? I mean, my mother-in-law has some hilarious examples of advice she was given, and just the other day I wrote a post on retro dating advice that was totally making me laugh. It seems we haven’t seen the end of dating advice to ignore, though – there’s a whole new load of sucky advice doing the rounds. Here’s the advice you should definitely be ignoring right now.
1. Just Take a Look at His Phone
Snooping is definitely dating advice to ignore. Nothing good can come of it. Okay, so you’ve got access to his phone or his email. You can have a look through and make sure he’s behaving himself. Even if he is, though, you’ll just think you’ve missed him this time. You’ll be even more tempted to make sure he’s still behaving himself next time. It becomes a crazy habit, and if he finds out, he’ll be gutted. It suggests no trust, and relationships can’t exist without trust.
2. Don’t Say Sorry
Love doesn’t mean that you don’t have to say sorry. It doesn’t mean that you’re never wrong. It doesn’t even mean that forgiveness is a given. If you’ve done something wrong, admit to it. If you’ve hurt someone, apologise. It doesn’t matter if you love them or not; if you like them, you should want to make it right. And if you refuse to be wrong or say sorry, you could sour everything. Ditch the pride and open up.
3. Be in Charge
This one seems to go both ways. Men need to be in charge because they wear the trousers, or women need to be in charge because they have vaginas. Both ways are rubbish. Nobody should be in charge. You’re in it together. It’s not about control, it’s about love. If you’re fighting over control or trying to use your genitals to “win,” you have some serious thinking to do.
4. Play Hard to Get
Just don’t. Really. Everyone knows this game now. Waiting for a text back doesn’t build anticipation, it’s just frustrating. Deliberately missing calls will just make them think you don’t want to talk to them. If you’re interested, show it. Maybe don’t strip off and declare your undying love, but show them. Too much mystery will leave the other person confused and ruin your chances at happiness.
5. Lower Your Standards
This is another one that can be summed up with “just don’t.” Presuming that you’re not looking for the unobtainable – or holding out for Benedict Cumberbatch – you don’t need to lower your standards. You do need to look in the right places, and you do need enough confidence to know that when the right person comes, you’ll be ready. Don’t settle for just anyone, because that way unhappiness lies.
6. Monogamy is Outdated
Open relationships have had a lot more publicity in recent years, as have multiple marriages. Monogamy is still the most popular, though, and most people do stick to it. Unfortunately, you tend to hear about the cheats and liars more. It’s not a given that either gender will cheat, and decent people won’t. If you do get cheated on, don’t feel you have to forgive. In fact, forgiving is hard. You’ll think about it a lot, it’ll play on your mind, you’ll never trust them again. You’ll feel worth that little bit less. It’s a tough decision. Don’t believe anyone who says you have to be open or let the other person play around – if it’s not what you want, that’s totally fine.
7. Play Dumb
This one was in the first round of dating advice to ignore, but it seems to be coming back. Don’t be tempted to dumb yourself down to get attention. Making stupid comments might get headline inches, but it doesn’t get respect. You might not intimidate him, but decent people wouldn’t be intimidated anyway. Brains are sexy. Don’t dumb yourself down. You’ll be frustrated, and they’ll feel stupid when they realize. Be yourself and own it.
Oh, and in case you needed reminding, don’t ever have a baby to plaster over the cracks. Yep, that’s some really common yet utterly bizarre dating advice to ignore. If you’re not getting on when it’s just the two of you, adding sleep deprivation, a crying baby and dirty nappies to the mix won’t help at all. Have you heard any dating advice to ignore? I’d love to hear it!