Believe it or not, there are a few positive things about a long distance relationship. Let's face it ladies, as much as you love your man, being apart can break a relationship. Having spent the first three years of my current relationship apart, and the next three years living together, I feel that I’ve learnt a few positive things about a long distance relationship that may help you get through it!
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1. Friendship
The foundation of any solid relationship is a strong friendship, and this is one of the positive things about a long distance relationship. If you can’t see each other face to face for a few weeks, you are forced to get to know each other as friends much quicker than you would otherwise. What I mean by this is the physicality and the physical attraction doesn’t get all attention and you learn much quicker if you’re compatible.
2. Communication
Being long distance opens the lines of communication which can only be a positive thing. Now of course, not all communication is good, and this will inevitably include some blazing rows (and don’t I know it!) But once again, not being face to face forces you to talk things through beyond the heat of the moment, be if on the phone, in written form or even Skype.
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3. Keeps It Fresh
Despite all the frustrations of missing your man, being long distance can keep it fresh. Those butterflies in your stomach for the first few months are one of the best parts of a new relationship – and, in a way, long distance maintains this! Every time you meet, that excitement of those first few dates happens all over again. On the flip side, the nerves can also come back, but again – isn't that part of the fun?
4. Trust
This probably should have appeared first on my list as it is such an important part of a relationship and it’s only enhanced by distance. Too often, couples who become conjoined from day one fall into the trap of mistrust. We all know of couples who check each other’s phones, emails, social media and so on. (Sidebar – would you read someone’s diary? I’m not sure how someone’s personal conversations are any different…) A good thing about long distance relationships is that you can’t possibly know exactly what your man is up to and where he is or who he’s talking to all the time and you both have the freedom and the right to live your own lives. If you’re happy with this you have trust! And when the distance is no longer an issue, this trust and respect for each other’s right continues long after. Yay!
5. "Distance" is a Cop out
If your relationship means enough, you work for it. I don’t believe in flogging a dead horse, but if your relationship is that important, you don’t fall at the first hurdle either. I always think if "distance" is stated as a reason for a break up, it’s probably a cop-out and the relationship wasn't right. This is a good thing – no one should be in a relationship because of habit, and this cop-out may save a lot of tears in the future!
6. Best of Both Worlds
Being long distance allows you to have the best of both worlds – the security of a relationship and the freedom of being single. You have the freedom to go out with your friends, follow your career, go weeks without shaving your legs…But you can also pick up the phone for a giggle, have romantic weekends and have that confidence that a relationship gives you.
7. Cooling off
When it comes to flying off the handle and saying things in a temper, I am guilty as charged. Whilst many of our long distance blow-ups came from the stress of missing each other, miscommunication and not being able to read body language - distance was also a saving grace. Where face to face I’d perhaps sulk or strop (I’m not all bad, honest!) when long distance, I was forced to take time to contemplate.
Whilst I myself have said that I wouldn't seek to enter into a long distance relationship again, I do think that ours works because of the 7 points stated above. Don’t give up hope when the distance gets the best of you. The light at the end of the tunnel is worth the journey! I hope these points have been of help – do you have any positive things about a long distance relationship to share?
Comments
Raima: And every moment you two spend together is cherished and becomes so special :D
Liz: I am in the same position as you Amanda. With mine we have set goals for the future but because it required him to work more to save to come to me its been less time together and i hardly hear from him. Im scared and doing what i can in keeping busy. He has assured me he still loves me and nothing has changed but i can't help but to think other wise.
Becky: I was in a 2 yr long distance relationship and i couldn't agree more with all of your points!! Especially since we are now happily married living together it will soon be four years!! Friendship and trust are our two main strengths which we developed thanks to the ocean separating us at that time, and both hold strong in the marriage. Other benefits are 1)both parties having to work harder /put more effort, 2) emotional attachment doesn't happen as quick so you have time to truly and logically evaluate the guy and see if he is really what you're looking for...
Amanda: I recently ended a 15 year marriage and the guy I'm dating now is perfect in every way....everything I want in a man. But I think I have a problem...I get upset at him for the little stupid things. He says he loves me and won't leave but I feel I'm pushing him away. What do I do?
Dani: I'm currently 'seeing how things go' with an ex frm over 20yrs ago...long distance! We're abt 3hrs away n spent our first wknd together recently, which felt like we picked up where we left off. I'm hoping for the best either way n not expecting a fantasy romance...I'm taking things one visit at a time! This article was very informative!
Kristina: I've been talking to a guy for about two months now that I've met over an app (so bizarre, I know!). He lives an hour and a half away but speaking to him every night, texting as much as we could, face timing, and keeping each other updated with every detail of our lives makes me feel really close to him. He drove to visit me for the first time last night, and that was our first date ☺️. Distance definitely feeds a big spark because it just shows how much effort they would make for you when they close that gap. I've never dealt with distance before but this boy has me feeling great about it. Amazing article by the way!
Lady: Was happy for 3 months, till he forgot my birthday, had been talking about it all month- then the day came, and nothing. Not sure if I'm being sensitive and petty, but it's a big no no in my book. Plus, every time we FaceTime, his llame roomie is there and they joke like little kids- I'm thinking- this is shared time- he drinks beer a lot! Which makes me think he's an alcoholic- and he was ALWAYS late coming to see me, that we'd go nowhere, and do nothing but sleep at my house when he came. 2.5 hour distance is not that much, but after all that- I couldn't help but to feel like an out of town fling when he forgot my birthday! I cut it off right then and there when I confronted him about it. No calls, no apologies, no floweres for sorry I forgot, NOTHING. How can it go from all into call you and text all day, to not even trying. Wow! I guess that showed me long distance and bull shyt!! Thank god, it had only been 3 months. I can bounce back after that, the sucky part was, I pretty much had started to fall in love with him. Oh well, no more geographically challenged situations for me. :(
Shainaeunice:
Abby: I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 months. He had really bad commitment issues but I rang the new year in with him giving me the commitment that I wanted and I'm so incredibly happy. He lives all the way across the country in California and I in virginia. People said it wouldn't last but we've lasted half a year so far. He's my bestfriend. He forgot it was my birthday but before the night was up he said a simple "happy birthday". Only because I reminded him. I hurt him a few days before my birthday and the fact that he was even speaking to me was a miracle. We fight a lot over sometimes stupid things. Sometimes not. We go a few days without talking and then we make up. The fights brought us so much closer
Noemi: Very helpful article currently dating the most amazing black man and so happy to know that the long distance well just an hour it has help me grow and mature in this beautiful relationship.
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