Type-A stalkers, instead of throwing your hands up in defeat when your type-B sweetheart still isn't ready, calm down by reading some relationship tips for type-A personalities who find themselves dating type-Bs. It's true that opposites attract – this type-B girl is getting married to her type-A princess come October. The merging of two personalities is never easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is. You can enjoy lasting happiness with your laid-back lover without compromising your own values. Just consider the following relationship tips for type-A personalities.
1. Plan for Spontaneity
Type-A personality types plan a lot. You have schedules, you know what you want to do, and you don't like veering off course. The idea of just going with the flow might make you break out in hives, and unfortunately that's what type-B personalities do. We're so chill we seem unconscious, and sometimes we don't plan a single thing, we just wait to see what happens. One of the best relationship tips for type-A personalities in this situation is to flip the switch on yourself. Map out your day, set aside your time, and make a plan that allows for spontaneity. Knowing that you're in control of being spontaneous can help you resist the need to be so rigid and regimented. You deserve the relaxation, and you might just have an adventure.
2. When Time Flies, Tell Lies
I know that sounds horrible, but hear me out. I'm not advocating the telling of lies, per se, but this is something that Heather does with me and it always works. Type-A personalities despise being late. You're quite urgent about getting to the movie on time, or being on time for your reservation. That's completely understandable, and admirable – I envy you! Type-Bs, however, are a little less rigid. We don't want to make you late, we're not trying to be disrespectful, but it's so hard for us to be on time. So if you tell your type-B date that the movie starts 15 minutes earlier than it does, or that dinner is at 7:30 instead of 8:00, you'll likely find that they're finally on time, even if they think they're still running late.
3. Motivate, Don't Dictate
Type-A personalities are so motivating. You make people perform at their very best, and you encourage the people you love. The problem is that sometimes your motivation is a little aggressive, so it can sometimes seem like you're giving orders instead of cheering on your partner. Just watch that. If you motivate your type-B baby to be on time, try new things, or even excel at work, you'll love the rewards. Don't change this wonderful trait, simply make sure you're acting like a motivator and not a dictator.
4. Be Honest about Your Me-Time
Type-A personalities are generally extremely independent, and so you need your me-time. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but let your partner know. Some type-B personalities are dependent on their lovers – not necessarily co-dependent, but your darling will want to spend time with you, and might feel rejected when you say no. Explain why, and make sure you set your boundaries. Those are important, but you can stick to them without hurting your love interest's feelings.
5. Outline Your Expectations
When opposite personality types date, it's an easier mesh because you go your separate ways when the date is other. When you get serious and co-habitation ensues, or even if you simply spend the night with each other a lot, things get tricky. Rather than having fights over dirty clothes in the floor, unwashed dishes, or unmade beds, make your expectations clear. Let your partner know when something really bugs you and ask for help and respect – but remember: motivate, don't dictate!
6. Respect Personal Preference
You don't want your type-B boo to change you; he or she doesn't want that either. You're two unique individuals, and that's okay. You can absolutely share your preferences and expectations, but at the same time you have to respect those personal preferences. For you, Sundays might be all about cleaning house and getting things in order – that's your preference, your schedule. It might not be your partner's. Ask for help, but don't get mad simply because your new lover doesn't go grocery shopping every Thursday evening.
In fact, how's this? You always want to be on time, you love the standard dinner-and-a-movie date, and you enjoy spending your Sundays cleaning. Your type-B lover is lax on time constraints, enjoys trying new things on date nights, and prefer sleeping in on Sundays. Switch off! Relax enough to follow your partner's schedule every other week, or even once a month, and ask for the same consideration. You can fit into each other's lives without completely changing one another – or yourselves. That's the basis for any long-lasting relationship.
8. Use Your Passions Wisely
You type-A personality types are wonderfully passionate. That's why you're so successful and so good at what you do. Harvest some of that passion and use it in your relationship. You'll motivate your type-B partner to go for the gold just as much as you do, and you'll enjoy a wonderful sense of intimacy. Just channel your assets and use them to your advantage.
9. Don't Give up
Because type-As work and try so hard, you succeed at almost everything you do. Because you succeed so often, failure can completely demotivate you. Understand that your type-B partner won't always be on time, pick up the clothes, or even get up off the couch, but that doesn't mean that the relationship itself is a failure. Don't give up. If your type-B partner is completely disrespecting you, that's one thing, but it may simply be that he or she is working as hard as you at meshing your personalities.
It's entirely possible that, throughout the course of your relationship, you've been tempted to call it quits because you're so different from your type-B baby. You may even resist dating type-B personalities for fear of total incompatibility. Just remember that there are more important things to have in common, and that you can make your personality differences work for you. Are you a type-A in a relationship with a type-B, or vice versa? I bet you even each other out and build each other up, don't you?