It happens often. An introvert and an extrovert end up in a relationship and realize there’s a major personality difference. So, what’re you to do when you find yourself in that position? These’re 7 pieces of relationship advice that introverts dating extroverts need. And while this’s written from an introverted slant, the same advice works if you’re the extrovert in the relationship.
Who you are is who you are and the same goes for your partner. You’ll save yourself a lot of grief if you accept that rather than fight against it. Personalities don’t often change and if they do so, it’s usually over a long period of time and because the person wants to consciously make a change. It can’t be forced. You’re each unique and that’s okay!
Not only should you not expect your partner to change, you shouldn’t expect it of yourself, either. Never try to be someone you’re not! It’s okay that you’d rather be alone with a book or a close friend watching television than at a crowded party. As an introvert, you need a certain amount of alone time or time just with a select few people you’re comfortable with. Respect your needs and you’ll be much happier.
While you should always make sure you’re getting what you need, you have to be careful that doesn’t go over into selfishness. It’s a fine line. When you’re in a relationship with an extrovert, you’re going to have different desires and expectations. If you want to be together, there’s got to be some compromise. Something like one Friday night in, one Friday night out can work well. The important thing is to consider both your needs.
Dating someone is always an opportunity to stretch yourself. You’re linking your life closely with another person. It’s to be expected that you’re not exactly alike. This allows you to stretch and grow, including in the introverted/extroverted quotient. You may find that with some practice, you can temporarily feel comfortable in the other role.
This can be difficult! I get it because I’m an introvert paired up with an extrovert. When it’s his turn to choose an activity and he chooses something very social, it can take a lot of maturity not to complain and pout. I totally get that you would rather scrub the floor than make idle chit-chat with others. But this’s where you have an opportunity to be the bigger person.
Much of the secret to making a relationship work when an introvert and extrovert pair up is to allow some space. Let your guy hang out with his friends while you stay home and enjoy some art therapy coloring or whatever hobby currently makes your heart sing. You don’t have to be together every minute. In fact, it’s better if you’re not. It keeps you both interesting to the other when you do meet again.
When you step back from your relationship you can probably see that you balance each other out. That’s a common theme in happy couples. What one lacks, the other has. In my relationship, my extroverted husband has helped me to come out of my shell more. And I’ve taught him the value of closing out the world and creating our own smaller, private world. It’s rewarding for both of us.
Being the introvert, always make sure there's a "get out of the party" game plan in play before attendance. Your extrovert other half will stay chit chatting all night if you don't. If you need to leave separately, make sure it's possible, and let them help you slide out without awkwardness or rudeness.
This goes along with knowing your limits -'d it's probably more for your extrovert partner, but let them be aware there's going to be some things you just feel too uncomfortable to join. They shouldn't hold resentment over it and should fully support your need and desire to avoid certain situations.
A key to an introvert-extrovert relationship is finding something to stimulate both of you. Whether it's shopping, sightseeing, video games, or movies, finding something you can do together will help build your relationship for those times it's hard being an introvert dating an extrovert and vice versa.
This advice can help your relationship to not just survive but thrive! What tips can you offer on this subject? I can’t wait to hear from you!
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