Sometimes it seems like the world is filled with perfect partners, all of whom are hoarding the secrets of happy couples that the rest of us just aren’t entitled to. In reality, nobody is perfect. Those who can accept imperfections are often the happiest, which is what really allows us to achieve longevity in a relationship! Some of the secrets of happy couples are surprisingly obvious, but downright brilliant at the same time.
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1. Argue
Seriously, one of the biggest secrets of happy couples is that they just let themselves argue. In fact, I once read a story about a couple who had been married for 88-years. The woman said they thrived on an argument a day. While that may seem like a bid of a headache, it is obvious really. The more we hold back, the worse things bubble up. Argue while the small stuff is still small.
2. Be Realistic
Disney, Ryan Gosling, F.R.I.E.N.D.S…every single one of them damn things has stopped us from applying a dose of realism to our relationships! First of all, that insanely amazing infatuation you experience at first isn't going to last. Second, those things you find cute right now may get irritating in a few weeks, months, or years. Ultimately, you will both be making less effort later on. Guess what? That's absolutely fine! Enjoy the honeymoon period, but be prepared to accept imperfections later on.
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3. Have Your Own Lives
At the oh-so-knowledgeable age of 16, I had a boyfriend whom I spent every second with. According to my teenage logic, that absolutely was the best way to make sure we loved each other. Almost a decade on and I appreciate my alone time more than most people I know. When you have your own hobbies in a relationship, you have something to talk about. Besides, as I learned when I was 16, you are never ever going to get your other half to love ALL of your friends. Keeping them separate is sometimes a good thing.
4. Listen
No man or woman is straightforward when communicating. I know us women are the ones who apparently say "I don't mind" when really we mean "Don't you dare," but I am absolutely certain men are guilty of this one too. Stop short at hiring a psychic to see what is going in his or her head, but do try to develop your own intuitions here. Your other half will sometimes be cryptic. If your sixth sense or gut is telling you there is something up or that they are not happy, scratch beneath the surface to see why.
5. Being Frank
After the whirlwind element of any romance, there are practical issues to sort out. Like money, for example. Finances are one of the leading causes of break ups, yet so many of us avoid talking about them because they are dull. When it comes to finances and other dull practicalities, be open and honest with your partner. The more you two can talk these things over together, the less likely it is you will be stressed if a problem crops up.
6. Do Your Fair Share and Make Sure They do Theirs
As someone who has worked as the full-time sole earner, while studying and taking care of two kids, I can wholeheartedly say there is nothing more frustrating than when someone does not do their fair share. The unfortunate thing here is, we all have weird and subjective views of what is actually fair! Rather than guessing what your partner sees as being clean or what chores they feel are necessary, discuss the matter. Otherwise, before you know it you will be glowering at them from across the room, wondering whether you'd be better off throwing their clothes out of the window or switching their sugar with salt.
7. Laugh
Humor is one of the most endearing qualities in someone you are attracted to! If you can laugh at each other, you will naturally feel less stressed. In turn, you will enjoy each other's company for longer. At the same time, we all need to know our boundaries here. Everyone has sore spots, so both members of a couple need to know which areas are no-gos when it comes to joking around.
It is still possible to love each other forever, without striving to get back those fresh infatuation feelings you felt in the first place. Every couple experiences hiccups. Without them, we wouldn't be human! If you and your other half have ways to keep each other happy, do share them here for the rest of us to benefit from!
Comments
Jade: I met my boyfriend in high school… he was more outgoing then me, and I was the typical "nerd", always into her studies and didnt really have "friends" to hangout with. I got used to hanging out with him and his friends, and they became my friends, sort of. Now that we are away in college (different colleges) he goes out ALL the time and has friends who he hangs out with, and I dont get out much at all mainly because I'm just not used to doing it. He has his own life, but i still think of his as mine too, and i get a bit jealous and a little sad when he goes out with people and I can't go too…. i know its long, but is there a way to deal with this?
hwannie: hmm, how would you deal with an introverted other half?
vintagevixen: communication is key ... I find that when my boyfriend and I talk about what's bothering us instead if just assuming the other knows what's going on in our heads you can resolve almost anything before it becomes a problem. also learn to pick your battles and don't sweat the small stuff.
Sherry: Be happy as a child with bubbles
Irene: Jade, the best way to deal with it is get out more. You need to separate from that create your own happiness and meet people that you will like. If he has his own life let him live it. I am in your shoes. And i understand where you are coming from. I have been there myself the best thing is separate and live your life. Create boundaries which are healthy for you and him. I did and our relationship became stronger i was this clingy obsessed girlfriend who only thought of him and jealousy arose and thoughts came into mind of what he might be doing behind my back he doesn't want me to find out it was my lack of insecurity. It tore us apart for awhile but i had to own my issue of why things happened and what i did to have caused the problem. I hope this help and if you need to reach me contact me on Kik at ireneyumi so i can help you. :) cheers to you. I know things will work out in the end.
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