None of us anticipated that with falling in love comes the possibility that someday either one of you can fall out of love. I mean, who would have thought about that when you're in the middle of the highs in the roller coaster and falling is the best part, right? We all love the excitement, the laughter, the dates, the messing around with each other, the staying out late and the morning after. We all love the beginning just like in the movies.
Some may say this is the part where all of us are good at everything. We are in the middle of having it all and not ever thinking that it can fall apart once and for all.
It's there, you can both feel it ending but nobody's saying anything. Just like a person dying of cancer, they knew that somehow it's all going to end. So they just stand there, making the most out of their life while they still have time.
And here we are standing across one another like we still have time. Looking at each others' eyes with an empty soul.
The signs, have we had those? Did it happen right before our eyes or without us noticing at all? Was it me? Was it you?
Or was it both of us?
Table of contents:
- the growing apart
- the transition
- the anger, jealousy and endless arguments
- the friendship
- the fading attention
- the leaving behind
- the blurry future
- the relationship routine
- the making love
- the withering conversations
1 The Growing Apart
The first few months or years of every relationship are the happiest times. You just love to do everything together. You want to mature at the same pace bringing your relationship to the next level. You're both growing up while getting closer with each other.
And then the time comes when the other person seeks to experience something new, looking for more grown-up things to do while the other just can't or don't want to do it with them. They start to grow apart and the other just feels heavy, like you are holding each other down.
2 The Transition
You're both changing into a different person. The other person just can't recognize his/her partner anymore.
Everything you agreed on, everything you liked to do together, even the way you dress up, the way you smell or even the jokes you both laugh at changes. Nothing's the same anymore.
3 The Anger, Jealousy and Endless Arguments
Have you ever heard of the term, “Low frustration tolerance”? This is what happens when love starts to fade. Each one of you no longer has the patience to joke around or tell each other about your day thinking that it will only end up with a petty argument.
You can no longer stand being around each other, their words make you sick. Their actions make you hate them over and over again. You'll be then reminded of all the things they put you through, and you just know that it's not healthy anymore.
4 The Friendship
This is what we don't want to lose the most aside from the love that was once there. Them, being the bestest friend we ever had. The person who knew us well more than we even know ourselves, still holding on with hopes that they will change and see us for who we are now.
Them, who listened to our every rant without judging or criticizing. But they have changed. They no longer see you the way they once did and you knew.
5 The Fading Attention
You have no time anymore. You just find every good excuse existing in the world to not be with them.
Their house seems far away, the mall is too mainstream, the time feels like forever and you just can't wait. You cannot wait for it to be over.
6 The Leaving behind
Traveling alone sounds more appealing. You feel like if ever you bring them with you, they will be just an heavy baggage you have to carry around with you. You no longer want to experience things with them.
7 The Blurry Future
You know that the future is not around the corner anymore. Planning with the one we love is one of the things both partners enjoy doing, but if you cannot imagine it anymore nor have the courage to bring it up, then you're both losing it.
8 The Relationship Routine
The feeling when you have to wake up, eat, work, sleep and do it all over again is what it feels like when you're falling out of love. It feels like you do it not because it's what you want to but it feels more like an obligation to be around them.
9 The Making Love
It's either you're always tired or you're not in the mood. Sometimes you feel like you're a machine or a robot just waiting for things to be done. The first few months or years are the times when you can't wait to get rid of each others' clothes and now you just can't wait for them to put it back on.
10 The Withering Conversations
Making conversations are no longer easy. It doesn't happen naturally anymore and sharing your feelings, emotions or innermost thoughts with your significant other no longer feels like something you fancy doing. It's because they are not the same person we fell in love with, or so we thought.
There's always a downside to everything and maybe, just maybe, this is one of the challenges that will come to our relationship with the one we love.
We can always turn it around.
That is if we're both willing to do it together. Hand in hand, like we promised.
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