Even if you think you’re happy, there are dangerous signs you’re settling in a relationship. You don’t want to waste time with a man that isn’t right for you. Isn’t it best for you to sit down and decide if he’s really your one and only? Here are some signs you’re settling in a relationship that shouldn’t be ignored:
Snapshot Survey
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1. He Doesn't do Chores
If you’re already living together, notice how much effort he puts in to daily chores. Does he wash the dishes after he eats? Does he do his own laundry? If you’re doing everything for him, you might want to have a chat. It’s not right for one person to be doing all of the work around the house. You should find a way to divide the workload. If he refuses to help you, it could be one of the signs you’re settling in a relationship. Do you really want a man who’s too lazy to contribute?
2. He Doesn't Pay
If you’re paying for everything, or vice versa, something needs to change. Just like it’s not right for you to make all of the meals, you shouldn’t have to pay for all of the meals. Relationships are about sharing the burden. Of course, if you’re okay with the financial situation, feel free to continue doing as you please.
Frequently asked questions
3. He Doesn’t Try
When something goes wrong in your relationship, does he make compromises or does he just let you complain? If he doesn’t put any effort into fixing your problems, he doesn’t care if they’re ever solved. It sounds cliche, but relationships are about compromise. You can’t always let him get his way, and he shouldn’t always let you get your way. If one person is always winning, then the other person is not going to be happy for long.
4. He Won't Commit
It’s understandable for him to be afraid of commitment, but you can’t let his fears ruin your relationship. It’s one thing for him to be nervous to propose, but another thing if he’s running around with other women. If he refuses to make you his one and only, then something is wrong. You deserve the best. If he can’t stick to one girl, then you’re not the girl for him.
5. He Won't Try
He doesn’t have to have a job, but is he at least trying in life? Whether he wants to be a professor or a painter, he should at least show effort. You don’t want to be with someone that has zero passions in life. It’s important that he has a goal that he’s aiming to achieve.
6. He Demeans You
Whether he’s physically or mentally abusive, you need to end things immediately. You don’t deserve to be treated poorly, no matter how low your confidence is. You need to find someone that loves you, and would never dare to insult you. If he’s rude to you now, things are only going to get worse in the future. Don’t believe that he’ll magically change his ways.
7. It Just Doesn’t Feel Right
If it’s been years and you don’t love him, why are you with him? Don’t settle for someone, because society expects you to get married at a certain age. The only reason you should be with someone is because you’re absolutely crazy about them. If you’re with them for superficial reasons, break the ties now. You’ll be much happier with someone you really, truly love.
Does your man do any of the things listed above or do you think he’s the one for you?
Comments
Ashley: At first I was put off by the rude insulting things he would call me but when we talked it out I learned he genuinely wasn't trying to make me feel inferior. He was doing what he does with his guy fiends. I've learned to understand and let him know when the rude words begin to feel insulting. Usually he'll call me a rude name and I'll throw one back at him just for fun. We go back and fourth cursing at each other saying that the other is something they obviously aren't. Eventually it has become all fun and games, but I still get on the fence every once and awhile.
Tonya: what if your 20 years older than your boyfriend and he only wants to see you every other week
craig: I think that everyone has their own issues and that things like these list do nothing but destroy peoples relationships. All I ever read on these is how if a man curses or name calls or anything verbally/ emotionally deemed abusive, that you need to run, get away as fast as you can. This is also the advice that I read for if there is physical abuse as well, and I 100% am in agreeance with ending the relationship on that issue. But let me also offer everyone here some enlightenment on both of these issues. #1 I know that 9 out of ten times the so called verbal and emotional abuse that is spoken of so often, usually is initiated by the women. I'm speaking from experience and from being witness to on many occasions, the name calling, insulting, cursing, etc starts of by the female and at this point its not considered abusive, but once the man snarks back do to the relentless slanderous words that were thrown at him everyone becomes up in arms about verbally abusiveness. Ladies, its a two way street and you reap what you sow. Which means plain and simple, treat others as you would like to be treated. Dont call a man an a$$ hole and then when he turns around and calls you a b1tch try to say he's abusive. #2 like I said I completely agree with the get away from physical abuse. But at the same token, when a man restrains you, not hits or beats you, because you are being physically aggressive with him, that's not abuse, that's him protecting himself. I was brought up never to hit a woman and am proud to say I never haven unfortunately it seems that my wife wasnt brought up the same way. I've been punched in the face by her on numerous occasions, clawed up, heck, I've even woken up to her trying to literally grab my genitals and ripping them off, but the second I defend myself I have to listen to I'm abusive. Herein lies that golden rule. Treat others how you want to be treated. Now I'm not saying that women are to always blame. I think for most everyday normal couples things sway back and forth on the situations at hand. But there are the guys in the world that are abusive in every way, shape, and form of the word and for that I apologize. As far as the rest of us, the biggest thing I can say is everyone needs to learn how to take responsibility for themselves before worrying about others
lilt: This is what I have been living. Very helpful,thanks!
Tay: Can you guys do more crush stuff like how to tell if your crush likes you through body language
Jaclyn: They say that it's the woman's job to somewhat "mold" their lover into the ideal boyfriend/husband because let's face it, guys need our help! But being that I've let so many things go in the past, 4 yrs later, it doesn't seem fair to him if I were to ask him to change his ways now. In his eyes, he thinks these things never use to bother me before , so why am I complaining about it now? Not all things listed above is relevant to our relationship , but majority of it is. Should I end things and see what happens from there? I'm just afraid that he'll change for the better but will want someone better than me too.
Alexis: I think I settle because idk if I will find anyone better
beautifulbrown: i love this its very helpful.
Esther: Assuming a man speaks demeaning words in a quarrel. Is that a no no too?
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