Some say love conquers all, but when your family hates your partner, it can certainly make life difficult. There are plenty of times that parents know better than their children. But when it comes to love, they can be super traditional, conservative, ignorant to the truth or just plain stubborn about who they want you to date. I’ve had plenty of personal experience in this department so I know how frustrating the situation can be. But don’t lose hope, check out some smart tips on what to do when your family hates your partner.
1. Be Considerate
When your family hates your partner, it’s crucial to try and be considerate of the feelings of others. You might be thinking that it’s your life and you can date who you want to date, but it affects them too. Try to get to the bottom of why your parents feel this way and what specifically they disapprove of. Is it just a matter of no-one is ever good enough for you or is there more to it? Be open, honest and willing to listen to them.
2. Think It over
Our friends and family members are often able to look at the relationships of others objectively which we aren’t always able to do. So most times when your parents hate your partner, there’s a good reason why. Take their thoughts and feelings into consideration and think over whether they have genuine concerns or reservations about your partner. Your family will appreciate your wanting to know more about their concerns.
3. Express Your Concerns
Once you’ve had a talk with your family about your partner, you can make your feelings about the situation clear to your family, also. Not all family members will be aware that their comments or actions are hurtful to you, so you can calmly let them know at this point. If your family is worried about your grades, work or other areas of your life being affected by your relationship, you can also take this opportunity to fill them in on your life.
4. Past Behavior
Another good tip to keep in mind when your family hates your partner is to take a look back at their past behavior. Do they typically react negatively to people you date? How do your parents react to the partners of your siblings or other family members? Was there a time when your family liked or even loved a partner of yours? Think about their reactions in the past and what is different now. It could be a race, gender, age, educational level or even your partner’s career choice which is the root of their concern.
5. Be Honest
It’s also important to be honest to both yourself and your family. If your family’s concerns are legitimate, don’t ignore them and expect things to get better on their own. But if their concerns aren’t warranted, tell them about your relationship. Perhaps they don’t have an accurate picture of the relationship you have. Sometimes, parents only have part of the story but if you’re being secretive about your relationship, lying or doing things behind their back, they have a reason to not be thrilled with your partner.
6. Talk about It
When you’re in a situation where your family hates your partner, it’s very likely that he or she is aware of the situation also. Don’t be afraid to talk to your partner about it, get their input and listen to their feelings about it. You can also reassure your partner and tell him or her that you care for them, are happy and that you believe in the relationship
If it’s at all possible, try to get your partner and your family together for short gatherings. Talk to both parties in advance and arrange that both sides will be cordial and interact in a positive manner. They may or may not warm up to your partner, but if your family sees that your partner is a positive influence on your life and see how happy you are, it can make a big difference.
Dealing with your family hating your partner can be devastating. Depending on the length of your relationship and how serious it is, your family’s feelings and actions can really affect the bond between you and your partner. Have you been in a situation where your family hated your partner? How did you handle it?