Nobody likes to be smothered and that's that. How do you show your love without making him feel like he's drowning in it? Guest contributor Talia tells you how!
We love our boyfriends but is there such a thing as loving them too much? Sometimes we really need to give men their space.
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1. Know That Smothering is an Act of Insecurity
Many of us are insecure in relationships, especially at the beginning of one. It's important to not let our anxiety about oneself or the relationship ultimately drive our relationships. Trust in one another's feelings and give everything time. I mean you're already with the guy, right. Be happy.
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When we smother, it often stems from a deep-seated fear that we're not enough or that the relationship won't last. But clutching tightly won't keep the relationship secure. Balance is key – allow for individual space while nurturing the bond you share. Celebrate the trust you've built and keep the dialogue open. Remember, a little breathing room can often bring you closer, as it fosters mutual respect and personal growth, which ultimately enriches your partnership. Happiness in love isn't about possession; it's about appreciation and understanding.
2. Smothering Comes off Needy and Desperate
No one wants to be with a needy or desperate person so try not to come off that way. You truly don't need to be telling someone everyday all day how you care about them. Men especially need their space when they're tired, sick, or have something on their mind. Don't always think it's about you.
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Remember, balance is key in showing affection. It's important to pepper your love with thoughtful gestures that give your partner space to breathe and be themselves. Instead of constant check-ins, leave little notes or send a brief message just to let them know you're thinking of them. This subtlety can be far more effective and endearing. Recognize when they need time alone or with friends, and use that moment to enjoy your own hobbies. Respecting personal boundaries doesn’t just benefit them—it’s healthy for your own sense of independence too.
3. Know the Importance of Respect, Even in a Relationship
If you smother, you are not respecting the space of your significant other. In the long run, this may cause them to resent you which is one of the worst things that can happen if you're keen about having a mature relationship. Respect one another's decisions and alone time.
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Understanding and honoring your partner's personal space contributes to healthier dynamics where both individuals feel valued. It's vital to listen actively and acknowledge their thoughts and feelings without imposing your own. Mutual respect paves the way for a relationship where each person can grow individually as well as together. Remember, showing affection is not just about being physically close, but also about giving the emotional breathing room needed to foster trust and intimacy. Therefore, nurture love with tenderness and a generous respect for boundaries.
Relationships need time to breathe. No one needs to be with each other 24/7. Remember that oxygen feeds the fire and don't we all want a fiery relationship in some way or another?!
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Just like a sprightly dance, a truly harmonious relationship shifts between intimacy and independence. Cherish the solo time that grants your partner the freedom to enjoy hobbies and friendships outside the duet. By nurturing your own interests, you grow as an individual and have more to bring back to the shared flame. This mutual respect for personal space isn't just healthy, it's absolutely essential—it provides the kindling to reignite passion and keep the romantic embers glowing steadily. So, next time your better half seeks a moment alone, smile and remember: distance, in the right measure, is a secret ingredient to lasting love.
Ask
If you're looking to engage your partner in intriguing conversations, why not try some hypothetical questions for couples? These fun queries will not only keep the conversation lively but also stimulate deep thoughts and potentially reveal insights about each other's personality and thought processes.
5. Know That Apologies Come in Their Own Time after Fights
We all fight in relationships. It's even healthy to have difference and disagreements but it is smothering when one person keeps demanding an apology. "Love means never having to say you're sorry." Do we all remember this quote from the movie "Love Story?" Know that it can be very antagonizing for someone to keep demanding apologies for certain actions. Know that an apology will come from that person when they have accepted that one is needed.
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Apologies are a reflection of understanding and compassion, blossoming naturally when the heart and mind align. Pressuring your partner for one can sour the art of reconciliation. Instead, cultivate patience—your significant other may need to process emotions and the situation's gravity. When given space, they'll likely recognize their missteps and offer a sincere sorry. This genuine act of contrition can weave stronger threads of trust and intimacy into the fabric of your relationship, creating a resilient bond enshrouded in mutual respect. Remember, true love grows in the soil of patience, not in the shadow of insistence.
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6. Remember That Love is Patience
We must understand that when we do not hear from our significant others right away, for example when they were supposed to call and didn't, or they are not on time for something, to be kind and patient. It's not a problem until you make it one and they may have a very legitimate excuse.
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Understanding that life is unpredictable and that our partners may face unexpected delays is a gesture of love and respect. Instead of reacting with frustration, choose to trust them and give them the benefit of the doubt. A gentle inquiry about their delay will always be better received than assumptions and accusations. Love is about calmly adapting to life's little hiccups together, and demonstrating patience is a perfect way to show your partner care without overstepping boundaries.
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7. What is Meant to Happen, Will Happen
The best way to go about your future is with positive acts and positive thinking. Smothering goes against these two beliefs. Remember why you are in love, trust in yourself and in your partner.
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Feedback Junction
Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge
this was so great thank you! both men and women can benefit from these pieces of advice. kudos Talia!
Great reminder. :)
I disagree on the apology part. I'm waiting for one for over 2 years now and he knows it's way overdue but still can't admit he went so out of line most women would have kicked him out the very moment
Great tips on how not to smother, but where were the "sweet ways" to show you love him?
Love this article
Love this article! It really helped!
Love all your articles
Good stuff!
is it possible to use gender neutral pronouns? like instead of boy friend or girlfriend, say partner? its a way more inclusive term :)
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Vix:this was so great thank you! both men and women can benefit from these pieces of advice. kudos Talia!
Ruby:Great reminder. :)
rabi:I disagree on the apology part. I'm waiting for one for over 2 years now and he knows it's way overdue but still can't admit he went so out of line most women would have kicked him out the very moment
jessica:Great tips on how not to smother, but where were the "sweet ways" to show you love him?
Lindia:Love this article
Lillian:Love this article! It really helped!
thuy:Love all your articles
ASHTKR:Good stuff!
Alex:is it possible to use gender neutral pronouns? like instead of boy friend or girlfriend, say partner? its a way more inclusive term :)
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