If you’ve been in a cheating relationship or wonder if you are in one, you may have heard your man say the following things. It’s amazing how many men say the same exact phrases, as if they read a book on what to say when cheating. Here are some things men say when they're cheating and don't want you to know or once they're caught:
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1. She’s Just a Friend
You discover he’s been talking to someone new, who is a female. He hasn’t said anything to you about her before you finding out about her and when you ask him if you can meet her, he objects. It’s because she’s really not a friend, she’s a girlfriend.
***
This text is about a situation in which a man has been talking to a female who is not his friend, but in fact his girlfriend. He has not told his partner about her and when asked to meet her, he objects. This scenario is one of the 23 things men say when they cheat, according to a women-focused blog in the love category. Cheating is a common problem in relationships, and this article aims to shed light on the signs that a man may be cheating, such as him talking to someone new and not wanting to introduce them to his partner.
2. Respect My Privacy. Don’t Touch My Phone
He doesn’t want you to touch his phone for fear that you will either see text messages from her or that she will send one just as you pick it up. He may even have pictures of her on his phone.
Frequently asked questions
Honestly, there are so many reasons. Some guys feel neglected, others want excitement, and some just want to see if they can get away with it. It's complicated and often doesn't even have a good reason behind it.
Oh, they tend to say a lot of the same things, like 'She's just a friend,' or 'I never meant to hurt you,' or even 'It just happened.' It's like they're reading from the same script.
Reactions can vary a lot! Some get really defensive and deny everything, while others might admit it right away or deflect by blaming you. It's a whirlwind of emotions for both parties.
This can be all over the place. Some guys feel guilt and shame, others just think about the thrill. Some might even try to justify it to themselves. It's a mess of conflicting thoughts for sure.
It’s all about honesty and clarity. Telling them how deeply they hurt you can cut deeper than any insult. Sometimes the best way to make them realize their mistake is just to calmly explain how broken you feel.
3. You Are Cheating on Me, Aren’t You?
Yes, men who cheat will accuse their partner of cheating. Why? It’s because they start to think, “Well, if I can do it, she could do it too.”
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This sort of projection is a common psychological defense mechanism known as accusation inversion. Cheating men often grapple with their own guilt and manage their insecurities by flipping the script. It's a way of deflecting attention from their own misdeeds and gaining control of the narrative. So, if he's suddenly interrogating you about where you’ve been and who you've been with, consider it a red flag. His unfounded suspicions could be revealing more about his actions than yours.
4. You Aren’t Good Enough
All of sudden he pokes at all of the things you do wrong and you have no idea what his problem is. He can’t cheat if he loves you or he thinks that you are good to him. So he makes himself believe that you aren’t good enough for him and that’s why he had to turn to someone else. In reality, you are more than good enough.
5. I Can do My Own Laundry
At first, you might think he’s being sweet for helping you out. Unfortunately, he’s doing it so he can hide his soiled pants, perfume smell or some other evidence of his liaison with his lady friend.
***
When he insists on taking care of his laundry, it’s a red flag waving right in front of you. Don't overlook this sudden burst of domesticity. It could very well be his way of making sure no incriminating evidence ever finds its way into your hands. The stubborn lipstick stain or the unfamiliar scent of another woman's perfume—these are tell-tale signs he'd rather keep concealed. Trust your gut if this newfound independence doesn't seem to add up, because more often than not, it's a sign of something underhanded afoot.
6. I Have to Stay after to Catch up on Work
All of a sudden he has more work than he knows what to do with and he can’t come home when he normally does. It’s because he’s not really at work, instead he’s meeting with his girlfriend without worry that you’ll catch him.
7. I Still Love You and Want to Be with You
He says he loves you and wants to be with you; yet, he strayed and told someone else the same thing. It’s because he wasn’t having the affair because he didn’t love you anymore, he had it because he was disillusioned from reality. When reality hit, he finally realized what he had to lose…you.
***
It is important to remember that when someone cheats, it is not necessarily because they no longer love the person they are with. Cheating can happen for a variety of reasons, such as a lack of communication, boredom, or a feeling of being unfulfilled. In this case, the man strayed because he was disillusioned with reality and only realized what he had to lose after the affair. It is also important to note that cheating can have long-lasting effects on the relationship, such as trust issues and feelings of betrayal. If the man truly loves the woman and wants to be with her, it is essential that he works to rebuild the trust and communication in the relationship.
8. I Didn’t Want to Hurt You
He’s right, when he went out to have the affair, he wasn’t thinking, “I am going to sleep with this other woman because I want to hurt her so incredibly bad.” Instead, he did it for his own selfish reasons without giving any thought to how it would hurt you.
***
The article "23 Things Men Say when They Cheat ..." published on a women-focused blog in the category of "love" discusses the various excuses men make when they cheat. One of the most common excuses is that the man didn't want to hurt his partner. He may have had selfish reasons for engaging in the affair, but he likely didn't think about how it would affect his partner. Unfortunately, the pain and betrayal that comes from infidelity can be devastating for the person who was cheated on. It can lead to a loss of trust, feelings of insecurity, and a breakdown in communication. It is important to remember that cheating is never okay and that it is never the fault of the person who was cheated on.
9. I Don’t Want to Lose You
In his last attempt to salvage any type of relationship with you, he may blurt out that he doesn’t want to lose you. You might think, “What did you think would happen when you chose to cheat on me?” Again, he never tied sleeping with someone else and losing you together. This may be a complete shock to him that you are actually leaving.
10. She Means Nothing to Me
She might not mean anything to him or he’s lying. Usually, men who have affairs may not have wanted to get involved emotionally, but after sleeping with them multiple times, feelings start to develop. So, in most cases, he’s lying that she means nothing to him, what he really means to say is that he doesn’t want her over you.
***
When a man insists that the other woman is of no significance, it's a classic tactic to diminish the gravity of the betrayal. He's attempting to reassure you and maintain the status quo. However, actions speak louder than words, and repeated infidelity suggests there may be more to the story. It's essential to trust your instincts and consider whether his words align with his behavior. True remorse and honesty are key to moving forward, should you choose to do so.
11. I Was Drunk
Being drunk isn't an excuse for lying, cheating, or murder. He's the one who decided to get wasted around a woman that he was attracted to. He's the one who decided to hop into bed with her. Even though the alcohol affected his brain, he still did what he did, so drinking is no excuse for infidelity.
12. It Only Happened Once
Men use this line as if cheating only once is no big deal. Of course, whether he cheated once or one dozen times, he was still unfaithful to you. He lied to you and betrayed you, even though he vowed to never hurt you when he signed up to be your boyfriend.
13. I Was Thinking of You the Whole Time
Does it really matter if he was imagining your face while another girl was on top of him? If anything, it makes it worse, because it shows that he thought about you and still didn't stop what was happening.
14. I'll Never do It Again
He may claim that he'll never do it again, but your trust in him is already broken. It's hard to continue a relationship after someone cheats. Even though you know he loves you, you also know how he treats someone he loves, and do you really want to be with a guy like that?
***
This text discusses the difficulty of staying in a relationship after someone has cheated. It suggests that even if the cheater promises not to do it again, the trust in the relationship may be irrevocably broken. This is an important topic that is often discussed in the context of relationships, especially in the category of love.
Recent studies have shown that infidelity is a major cause of divorce in the United States, with approximately 20-40% of marriages ending due to cheating. Furthermore, research has revealed that men are more likely to cheat than women, with an estimated 20-25% of men admitting to having an affair, compared to 15-20% of women.
It is important to note that cheating is not limited to physical infidelity. Emotional cheating, or forming a strong emotional bond with someone other than your partner, can also be damaging to a relationship. It is essential to have honest communication in a relationship in order to maintain trust and avoid cheating.
15. I've Never Seen Her before in My Life
Even if you know he's cheating, he won't want you to see the woman he's been sleeping with. If you do, then he's going to have to be extra careful if he ever wants to meet up with her again.
16. Humans Aren't Meant for Monogamy
Maybe this is the truth, but if he truly believes that one person can't remain loyal to another, he shouldn't have entered a relationship. Of course, now that you know he's a cheater, he can sleep with as many girls as he wants, because you'll be out of the picture.
17. I Can't Believe You Don't Trust Me
If you have trust issues, he'll use them against you. Even if you have evidence that he's cheating, he'll claim that you're just jealous over nothing. It's a common thing for cheaters to say, because it'll make you start doubting yourself instead of them.
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When you confront him with worries about infidelity, he may turn the tables by questioning your sanity. It's an emotional manipulation technique known as gaslighting. He insists you're seeing things that aren't there, and you should "trust him more." By doing so, he aims to deflect the conversation from his actions to your alleged insecurities. Your genuine concerns are inappropriately labeled as paranoia, to the point where you might start questioning your intuition and the reality of the situation. Remember, it's not your fault for feeling uneasy—it's his for giving you reasons to doubt.
18. A Man Has Needs
We all know men like to have sex. However, if they really need a release, they can handle it themselves instead of looking for another woman to please them. Cheating isn't nature's fault. It's his.
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Let's set the record straight—infidelity is a choice, not a necessity. Just because a man feels the urge, doesn't mean he's at the mercy of his desires. Faithfulness is about self-control and respect, qualities that truly define a man's character. When a partner looks beyond the relationship to satisfy his whims, it isn't a biological imperative that's leading him astray—it's a conscious decision to break trust. Every man has the power to rise above the base instincts and remain true to his commitments, and it's about time they exercised that power.
19. You Were Neglecting Me
He doesn't want to admit that he's a bad person, so he'll place the blame on you. He'll claim that you're a horrible girlfriend, because you don't please him enough in the bedroom. He wants to put it all on you.
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This text is discussing one of the common tactics used by men when they cheat. By claiming that their partner is "neglecting" them, they can deflect blame and make themselves appear as the victim. This can be seen in a variety of ways, such as accusing their partner of not being attentive enough in the bedroom or not giving them enough attention. This tactic is often used to manipulate their partner into believing that they are the one who is at fault in the relationship, when in reality the man is the one who is actually cheating. It is important to remember that this behavior is not acceptable and should not be tolerated. If your partner is using this tactic, it is important to address it and take steps to ensure that it does not continue.
20. I Didn't Know What I Was Doing
Men say this, but it makes little sense. How could he possibly be unaware of what he was doing? Unless he was drugged, he knew exactly what he was doing. He could at least come up with a lie that's plausible.
***
When a man tosses out the 'I didn't know what I was doing' line, it's nothing short of insulting. It's as though he believes a momentary lapse can erase the deliberate decisions leading up to the infidelity. It's a lazy attempt to sidestep responsibility and the weight of his actions. Women aren't fooled. They know it takes a series of conscious choices to cross that line. Expecting them to buy into such a weak excuse is not only dishonest but also underestimates their intelligence.
21. It's Not What It Looks like
You don't ever want to hear this phrase. Nothing good will come from it. If someone says that it's "not what it looks like," it's exactly what it looks like.
22. It's All in Your Head
Even if you read his incriminating texts or see him kiss another woman, he'll claim that it's all in your head. He refuses to admit that he's done something wrong, so the only thing he can do to save himself is to blame you and claim that you're crazy.
23. I've Changed
After you catch him cheating, he's going to claim that he's changed and will never hurt you again. However, how could you believe anything that comes out of a cheater's mouth? If you want a healthy relationship, you need to move on, because you'll never have one with him.
If you are already in a bad relationship and your man begins to say things like these, sadly he may be cheating on you. On the other hand if you are in a great relationship and your man says some of these things (like staying after work, I can do my laundry, etc) hopefully it is the truth and he isn't cheating on you. If you catch him saying these things and you find out he is cheating on you it's probably a good time to leave the relationship and realize how much better you can do without him.
Guest blogger, Marcelina Hardy is a relationship coach, who specializes in helping people deal with cheating and other relationship problems. Come by Relationship Repair for more relationship help.
Are you looking to guest blog with All Women Stalk, please contact me at Diana(at)allwomenstalk(dot)com, I look forward to hearing from you!
This article was written in collaboration with editor Holly Riordan.
Comments
stina: OK I've been with my bf for 5 months we live together and he is a truck driver he comes home every night tho. Recently he has started texting on his phone more and bought some new clothes. He does his hair and wears expensive cologne to work. He leaves earlier for work and comes home later and just seems miserable. His phone always has a lock on it and he brings it everywhere he goes. I've asked him if he had met someone would he tell me, or would he not because he is scares of hurting me? And all he replied with was I've never put myself in that situation so I wouldn't know.... Wtf does that mean? I almost feel like he is cheating on me and I keep having dreams he is so I don't know if I'm crazy or if isn't cheating at all...please help
fool: OMG!!! These was exactly what my boyfriend after 9yrs.....all the points..........he was having an affair with a bitch since last 1 year ....and now I know he has slept with that bitch........he says he wants me back........I know I have to move on..........and I have........but it kills me...........I don't know how to carry on........
fucked: yep, that's my husband after 15 years.. 4 kids and spending all our savings.. i m left empty and having to start over at 45. life sucks , he should just kill me life would be much better
Timothy: I'm a man. Yes I said everything listed here to my woman. Its crazy but I haven't cheated on her. Some man aren't all the same. Not all man are equal only similar. So to be honest, like a wise man once told me and this applies to woman too. "If your man/woman wants to cheat on you, theres nothing you can do" reading things hearing things, etc. wont change it. You might else well make the best of what you got.
amccreery2: My story is way too long and complex to put on here. Summary: married 18 years. Husband has been with three women in the last three years. Horribly painful. Last woman has been a complete nightmare. He has drug me around waiting for him to decide between the two of us for over a year. He was getting ready to come back home to myself and our two children that he left. However he refuses to answer when he was last intimate with another woman and if he still has these womens' nude photos on his phone. I don't feel that it is unreasonable at all to know these things. He says that because it isn't home now he isn't obligated to tell me anything. We are still married! He has put me through so much heartache I can't even get into it. I could go on for days. I just want thoughts on if it is unreasonable for me to want to know what he is doing when he isn't working. If he still keeps on contact with his lovers, continues his sexual relationships, and has their nude pictures. Why should I condone this behavior? Shouldn't he have to answer me? Shouldn't his behavior stop? He blames his affairs entirely on me because I was a "shitty wife that never made him as happy as the one girl." I am a "horrible mother" as well. Hard to give up nearly a decade together but I am tired of this. Thoughts? Am I being too overbearing or unreasonable here?
Noni: Although I've seen some instances where one of my friends was in a bad relationship, but he really didn't care about her. I guess that's why he cheated on her...twice. But that's still no excuse to hurt someone. Plus, why be in a relationship with someone if you don't have feelings for them in the first place? o_O
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