20 Things to Discuss with Him before Marriage ...

By Melissa

20 Things to Discuss with Him before Marriage ...

Getting married is a big deal, that is why it is important to follow this list of 20 things to discuss before marriage. Covering these topics will ensure that you and your future husband have an understanding of what each of you want for the future. This list covers everything from children to money to who’s doing the dishes Friday night.

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1

Children

It is natural to think about children as you are planning a wedding. Marriage means starting a family, even if “Family” for you doesn't include having kids. Before you get married you need to discuss if you will have children, how many kids you want, will you adopt, and when you will start growing your family if you are having children. Don’t go into your marriage thinking that you can change each other’s mind. It’s not fair to expect a man to father children he doesn’t want or to deny him children. If this is the case you would both be happier with someone else.

UPD:

When it comes to marriage, it is important to discuss the topic of children with your partner before tying the knot. This is because having children is a major life decision that should be made together. Couples should talk about the number of children they would like to have, if they would like to adopt, and when they would like to start a family. It is important to be on the same page when it comes to this topic, as it can have a major impact on the marriage.

It is not fair to expect a partner to father children that he does not want, or to deny him children if he does. If this is the case, it is best to look for someone else who shares similar views. It is also important to consider the financial and lifestyle implications of having children.

When it comes to having children, couples should also consider the impact it will have on their relationship. Having children can be a major source of stress, and couples should make sure that they are both willing and able to handle this stress. Additionally, couples should discuss how they will manage parenting responsibilities, such as childcare and discipline.

2

Money

Life cost money. There is no denying that, which is why money is one thing to discuss before marriage. It’s important that both of you have an understanding on how to handle money. You also need to decide if you will keep separate bank accounts or join together. You should also discuss who is going to pay the bills and how much money you will save each month?

UPD:

Money is a vital part of any marriage and it is essential to have an open and honest discussion about it before tying the knot. Questions to consider include how to handle money, whether to have separate or joint bank accounts, and who will be responsible for paying bills. Additionally, it is important to discuss how much money you will save each month, and how to manage any existing debts.

It is also important to discuss any future financial goals, such as buying a house, starting a business, or saving for retirement. Other topics to consider include whether or not to have a budget, how to handle credit cards, and how to handle any inheritances or gifts.

It is also important to discuss any lifestyle changes that may occur after marriage. This includes discussing whether or not to combine incomes, how to handle any changes in income, and how to handle any additional expenses that may arise.

Finally, it is important to discuss how to handle any financial disagreements that may arise in the future. This includes discussing what to do if one partner wants to make a large purchase, how to handle investments, and how to handle any unexpected financial issues.

3

Family

Have you met his family yet? Do you like them? Now is the time to figure out how you will handle your families and where you will lay boundaries. It’s insane to enter a marriage and think that his parents or your parents aren’t going to try to interfere at some point.

UPD:

It is important to discuss family dynamics and expectations with your partner before marriage. It is important to know how your partner interacts with his family and how you will fit into that dynamic. Additionally, it is important to establish boundaries with both families to ensure that everyone is comfortable with the relationship.

It is important to discuss how you will handle family holidays, events, and other gatherings. You should discuss how often you will visit each other's families and who will be responsible for travel arrangements. It is also important to discuss any cultural or religious differences between your families and how you plan to handle them.

It is important to discuss how you will handle finances when it comes to family. Will you be responsible for your own expenses or will you be expected to help with family expenses? It is also important to discuss how you will handle any gifts that are given to you or your partner from family members.

Finally, it is important to discuss how you will handle any disagreements between your families. It is important to have a plan in place for how to handle any disagreements that may arise. This plan should include how you will communicate with each family and how you will handle any potential conflicts.

4

Goals

Does he know what your future goals are? Do you know his? If you are career minded and plan to put all you have into work for the next 5 years so you can get a certain promotion or make a certain amount of money he needs to know this. You also need to know how his goals of quitting his current job to become a wedding singer are going to affect your life.

UPD:

It is important to discuss your goals with your partner before marriage. Ask each other about your short-term and long-term goals and how they will impact your lives together. Consider the areas of career, finances, family, and lifestyle. If one of you is planning to pursue a career that requires a lot of travel or long hours, it is important to talk about how this will affect your relationship. If one of you wants to become a stay-at-home parent, discuss how you will manage finances and childcare. It is also important to talk about your plans for the future, such as where you would like to live, if you would like to have children, and if you would like to pursue higher education. Discussing your goals can help you both understand each other's expectations and plan for a successful future together.

5

Where Are You Living?

What’s the plan after you get married? Maybe you already live together and that takes out some of need to discuss before marriage, but you may still want to know how long do you plan to stay in your current home or if you need to start saving up to buy a house in the near future.

UPD:

Before marriage, it is important to discuss where you and your partner plan to live. This could be in your current home, a new house, or even a different state or city. If you already live together, you should still talk about how long you plan to stay in your current home or if you need to start saving up to buy a house in the near future. If you don't currently live together, you should talk about what kind of home you would both like to live in and how to go about finding it.

You should also discuss how to handle finances, such as who will pay for the house, who will pay for utilities and other bills, and who will be responsible for any renovations or repairs. If you have children, you should also consider the school district in the area you plan to live in.

If you are both planning to stay in your current home, you should also talk about how to make it work for both of you. This could include discussing how to divide chores, how to handle guests, and how to handle any disagreements that may arise.

Famous Quotes

Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.

Bruce Lee
6

Vacations

Do you know where your future husband wants to vacation? This maybe something that won’t happen right away, but it’s still fun to dream about fabulous vacations you can take together.

UPD:

Vacations are a great way to relax and spend quality time together. Before marriage, it’s important to discuss where you and your future husband would like to go on vacation. This will help you understand each other’s interests and preferences.

When planning your vacation, consider your budget, how much time you have, and the type of activities you want to do. Are you looking for a beach getaway or an adventure trip? Do you want to explore a new city or take a road trip?

It’s also important to talk about the logistics of the trip. Who will be responsible for booking flights and hotels? Will you split the costs or will one person pay for everything?

Finally, consider the type of vacation that will work best for both of you. If one person prefers the beach and the other prefers the mountains, you could plan a trip that includes both.

Vacations can be a great way to bond and create memories together. Before marriage, it’s important to talk about where you want to go and how you want to get there. This will help you plan a trip that you both enjoy.

7

Religion

Believe it or not but religion is a very important thing to discuss before marriage. Chances are if you guys come from different religious backgrounds the topic has come up more than once. Figure out before you get married how you will celebrate religious holidays and handle any religious differences.

UPD:

Religion can be a difficult topic to discuss before marriage, especially if you and your partner come from different religious backgrounds. It's important to talk about how you will handle religious differences and celebrate religious holidays. Depending on your beliefs, this could mean anything from attending services together to finding a compromise on how to raise your children.

It's also important to discuss how you will handle different views on lifestyle and morality. Do you both agree on the importance of prayer? How will you handle different rituals and traditions? Will you both be comfortable attending services in each other's faith?

It's also important to talk about how you will handle any potential conflicts that arise from your different religious beliefs. How will you handle situations where one of you is uncomfortable with the other's beliefs? Will you be willing to compromise on certain issues?

Finally, it's important to discuss how you will handle any potential disagreements between you and your partner's family. Will you be able to respect their beliefs, even if they are different from yours? Will you be able to find common ground?

8

Past Relationships

Here is one thing to discuss before marriage that might make you a little uncomfortable. Unfortunately it needs to be done. It’s better to put it all out there beforehand instead of it coming to light after the big day.

UPD:

It is important to have an open and honest conversation about past relationships before getting married. This conversation should include discussing past relationships and any unresolved issues that may still remain. This can be a difficult conversation to have, but it is important to make sure that both partners are comfortable and that any lingering feelings or unresolved issues are addressed.

It is also important to discuss previous sexual experiences. This conversation should include a discussion of any sexually transmitted diseases or infections, as well as any past sexual partners. This can be an uncomfortable conversation, but it is important to make sure that both partners are aware of any potential risks.

It is also important to discuss any past infidelities or betrayals. This conversation should include any details about the situation, as well as how it was resolved. This can be a difficult conversation to have, but it is important to make sure that any issues are discussed and resolved before getting married.

Finally, it is important to discuss any past financial issues. This includes any past bankruptcies, debts, or other financial issues that may have arisen in the past. This can be a difficult conversation to have, but it is important to make sure that both partners are aware of any potential financial issues that may arise in the future.

9

Secrets

Secrets are another thing to let go of. If you think there might be a nude picture of you floating around out there from an ex-boyfriend or a job you held that you aren’t so proud of, tell him. It’s always best to come clean than to live worrying about it slipping out. How horrible would it be for your husband to find out at a party with all his friends that you use to dress as a clown at little kids’ birthday parties?

UPD:

Secrets can be a major source of stress in a relationship, so it's important to be open and honest with your partner before marriage. If you have something that you're not proud of, such as a nude photo of yourself, it's better to tell your partner than to worry about it coming out later. Discussing secrets before marriage can also help prevent surprises or embarrassment in the future.

Secrets don't necessarily have to be negative though. You may have a secret talent or hobby that you haven't shared with your partner yet. It could be something like singing, playing an instrument, or even a sport. Sharing these secrets with your partner before marriage can help you both learn more about each other and create a stronger bond.

No matter what kind of secrets you have, it's important to talk about them before getting married. This can help create a stronger foundation of trust and understanding between you and your partner. Don't be afraid to be open and honest about your secrets, even if they may not be the most flattering. This can help to ensure a long and happy marriage.

10

Faithfulness

You would think that taking a vow to love one another unconditionally would sum up each other ideas on faithfulness, but that isn’t always the case. Some people really do believe that if you are different area codes it’s okay to mess around. Know for sure you are on the same page when it comes to faithfulness before taking the walk down the aisle.

UPD:

Faithfulness is a cornerstone of any successful marriage. It is essential for couples to discuss their expectations of fidelity before they make any commitment to each other.

Being faithful means more than abstaining from physical intimacy with someone other than your spouse. It also means being emotionally and mentally loyal to your partner, honoring your vows, and not engaging in behavior that could hurt your spouse’s feelings.

It is important to talk to your partner about what faithfulness means to each of you. Do you both agree that it is wrong to flirt with someone else? Do you both think that having a close relationship with someone of the opposite sex is inappropriate? Are you both willing to commit to being faithful to each other, even if one of you is away for long periods of time?

It is also important to discuss how you will handle any potential infidelity. Do you both agree that honesty is the best policy? Are you both willing to forgive and move on, or would you prefer to end the relationship if either of you were unfaithful?

11

Values

Everyone has their own set of values. While most values don’t differ too much one thing to discuss before marriage is what values are most important to each of you. Then you can decide what values you will share as a family.

12

Showing Love

We all receive love differently. Some people feel more loved when you give them a compliment or constantly reassure them of your love. Others see love as action. Find out what things you can do for each other to show you love one another.

UPD:

Showing love is an important part of any relationship, and it is especially important to discuss before marriage. Love comes in many forms, and it is important to understand what each partner needs to feel loved and appreciated. Some people feel more loved when they are given compliments or reassurance, while others prefer to show their love through action.

When discussing love before marriage, couples should talk about the ways they both like to receive and show love. This can include things like verbal compliments, physical touch, and acts of service. It is also important to discuss how often each partner needs to receive love in order to feel appreciated.

Couples should also talk about how they can show love to each other on a daily basis. This can include things like leaving love notes for each other, cooking dinner together, or taking a walk together. It is also important to discuss how each partner likes to be surprised with love.

It is also important to discuss how to deal with disagreements and arguments in a loving way. Couples should talk about how to communicate in a respectful and understanding manner, and how to apologize and forgive each other when needed.

13

Chores

Didn’t think chores were a thing to discuss before marriage? Trust me it’s a talk you absolutely want to have. You need to be clear on what your expectations are on keeping the house clean. Decide who is responsible for what chores now, so everyone knows who is at fault when the trash hasn’t been taken out and the toilet is filthy.

UPD:

Chores are often overlooked when it comes to discussing marriage, but they are an important topic to cover before tying the knot. It's important to be clear on who is responsible for what tasks in the household, and to make sure that everyone is aware of their duties. Not only will this help keep the house clean and orderly, but it will also help to avoid arguments about who is responsible for something not being done.

When discussing chores, it's important to consider who will do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and yard work. You should also discuss who will take out the garbage, and who will be responsible for taking care of the bills and any other household tasks that need to be done. It's also a good idea to set a schedule for when these tasks need to be completed.

In addition to discussing who will do what chores, it's also important to discuss how you will divide up the responsibility for any major household purchases. This could include items such as furniture, appliances, and other home improvements. It's also important to discuss who will be responsible for any repairs that need to be done around the house.

14

Budget

It’s not enough to just discuss your finances. You also need to work out a budget together. This budget should cover all your bills, create a plan to pay off any debt, and save for the future. A good budget will clearly state how much money is left over each month to spend on personal items.

15

Quality Time

Another thing to consider discussing before marriage is how you will spend quality time together. Don’t forget to plan date nights and special ways to appreciate each other.

16

Parenting

If you have decided to have children you also need to discuss how you will parent. There are many different parenting styles. Some parents are stricter while other parents let things slide. There isn’t a right or wrong it’s just an important thing to know before marriage.

17

How to Fight

Do you know how to fight fair? Discuss before marriage how you can approach problems without getting ugly. Also figure out what topics are hot buttons that should be avoided in order to fight fair.

18

Forgiveness

How will you forgive each other after an argument? Do you know what acts he considers unforgivable or may make it extremely hard for him to forgive you wholeheartedly? Find out these sort of things now.

19

Trust

Can you trust each other? Are there certain things that he doesn’t trust you with right now? How can you get that trust back? Discuss before marriage any trust issues you have with each other.

20

Jealousy

Jealousy can be a huge downfall in any relationship. If you are a jealous person let him know that. Tell him the things that make you jealous and how he can avoid those things are help you get through them.

As you can see there are many things to discuss before marriage. Don’t let these topics scary you off about getting married. It’s just important that you and your future husband have a full understand of one another. What are some other important things to discuss before marriage?

Top Image Source: beautifulweddingmemories.com

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At 30 I realized that all of these topics matter!!!!

A married man should take care of all children he fathers in a marriage!! Why would he not want to??

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