There are several things to do if your parents don't approve of your relationship. Your boyfriend loves you, but your parents love you even more. They want what's best for you, so they'll try to get you to dump any guy that they deem unworthy of your greatness. However, just because they're older doesn't mean that they're wiser. Here's what to do if your parents don't like your boyfriend.
1. Understand Your Parent's Role
One of the first things to do if your parents don't like your partner is to understand your parent's role. They are there to protect you. If your parents don't approve of a relationship, there probably has to be a reason why. In fact, it might even be a good reason. Just remember to take a look at your relationship from their point of view!
2. Respect Your Parents
Your parents have been around for years and they have more experience in the relationship department. One tip that I have found that works when you're dealing with parents that don't approve of a relationship that works is actually to respect them. They are still your parents and they will always be your parents. Make sure that even if they don't approve of your relationship, you are still respecting them, which is one of the best answers for what to do when your family hates your boyfriend.
3. Weigh the Pros and Cons
As I said before, your parents are there to protect you and they honestly don't want to cause you any pain at all. With that in mind, how is your relationship? Do you think that it is worth all of the drama with your parents? Do you think that your parents not approving of your relationship is a sign? Maybe weighing the pros and cons of your relationship and really seeing if you are happy with the guy is a good option!
4. Talk to Your Parents
Ladies, your parents want to help you through anything, but you've got to talk to them. If your parents don't approve of a relationship that you are in, you might just want to talk to them about it. Trust me, it can actually help them understand your relationship a little bit!
5. Talk to His Parents
If you don't have a whole lot of luck with your parents, why not have a conversation with his parents? To be honest, adults typically have a better time talking their problems out and who knows, maybe his parents will talk to yours and put them at ease about your relationship. You never know what can happen!
6. Find out the Reason
If your parents don't approve of a relationship that you're in, there has to be a reason for it. This is something that you should definitely think about, that way you can make sure that you are covering every basis when you actually talk to your parents. What reasons do you think that they aren't going to approve of your relationship?
7. Talk to Him
Ladies, you want to make sure that you are talking to your guy. Not only do you want to talk to him about your parents, but you want to talk to him about exactly what your parents don't like. Who knows, maybe he'll want to talk to your parents and put their minds at ease!
8. Coach Him
Another of the important things to do if you're dating someone your parents don't approve of is to prep your boyfriend before you take him home. Before your boyfriend walks into your house, tell him which topics he should bring up to your parents and which ones he should avoid. If your mom is a sucker for flowers, tell him to buy some. If your dad is interested in baseball, tell your boyfriend to mention that he plays it.
9. Bring Him Home More
With any luck, the more your parents see him, the more they'll like him. As long as he's respectful to them and treats you like a princess, there's no reason for them to think poorly of him. The whole problem could be solved by involving him more in your parents' lives.
10. Brag about Him
Whenever you can, mention your boyfriend to your parents. Tell them about his promotion or about how he helped his little sister learn to play the piano. Anything nice that he does, your parents should know about.
11. Compromise
What do your parents dislike about your boyfriend? If they don't like that he brings you home too late, then make sure you always come home early. If they don't like the way he dresses, tell him to dress more conservatively the next time he's invited over for dinner. This is probably one of the easiest answers for when your your parents don't approve of your relationship.
12. Ask about Their Relationship
Ask your mom if her father approved of your father back when they started dating. You may be able to remind her that parents don't always know what's best for their kids. Sometimes, being overprotected will push them away instead of protect them.
13. Avoid PDA
When your boyfriend comes over, tell him to avoid kissing you or even holding your hand. Some parents are uncomfortable seeing their little girl get touched by a boy. If you know your parents are worried about your sex life, then PDA should be avoided at all costs.
14. Involve a Friend
Getting your friends involved is one of the best things to do if your parents don't approve of your relationship. Your parents might trust the judgement of your best friend or an aunt more than they trust you. If that's the case, let your boyfriend meet that person and have them tell your parents how perfect they think he is. Hey, it could work.
15. Break up
If you're still living with your parents and they have a lot of control over your life, you just might have to do what they say. Yes, it's unfair, but it happens. When you're older, you can always get back together with him if you still love him.
16. Never Complain about Him
If you have an issue with your boyfriend, complain to your friends. Never say anything bad about him to your parents if they already dislike him. It'll only make them angrier. It can be hard to hold your tongue, but it's something you have to do.
17. Explain What You Love
Your parents can't see what you love about your boyfriend, because they don't know him like you do. Sit down and explain all of his good traits to them. It may be awkward, but it will help to tell them about all of the romantic things he's done for you in the past.
18. Give It Time
Even though your parents hate your boyfriend now, they may change their minds in the future. You shouldn't push them, because they might have to change their minds on their own. It could take some time, but if you end up marrying him, you have all the time in the world.
19. Agree to Disagree
This might be one of the hardest things to do when your parents disapprove of your partner. Unfortunately, your parents may never see just how wonderful your man is. If that's the case, you'll have to agree to disagree about him. Just don't let their disapproval stop you from involving them in your life.
There are actually tons of different reasons why your parents don't approve of a relationship your in. It could boil down to ethics, could boil down to personalities or it could be because your guy isn't motivated and not good enough for you. Just remember ladies, if your parents don't approve of a relationship that you are in, follow some of these tips and tricks! Have you ever been in a relationship that your parents haven't approved of? Share your story!
This article was written in collaboration with editor Holly Riordan.
Frequently Asked Questions
- What should I do if my parents don't like my partner?
- If your parents don't approve of your partner, the first step is to talk with them to understand their reasons. Share your feelings about your partner and try to address their concerns. It's important to stay calm and respectful during these conversations.
- Is it okay to keep dating someone if my parents disapprove?
- It's your choice who you date, but consider your parents' feelings and the reasons for their disapproval. Weigh the importance of your relationship with your partner against your relationship with your family. Try to find a balance that works for you.
- How can I convince my parents to accept my relationship?
- Convincing your parents might take time. Show them how happy and well-treated you are in your relationship. Listen to their side, and introduce your partner in positive situations. It might help to find common ground or shared interests.
- Should I end my relationship because my parents disapprove?
- The decision to end a relationship should be based on your feelings and the quality of the relationship, not just parental approval. Consider professional advice from a counselor to help you make this decision.
- Can my relationship survive without my parents' approval?
- Many relationships thrive without parental approval, but it can be challenging. Strong communication and support between partners are crucial. Over time, your parents may come to accept your relationship if they see your commitment and happiness.