By Lucy • 6 Comments
If you're relationship has hit a few speed bumps or taken a tumble in the past, trust can be a difficult thing to come by. It's only natural that you'll want to be quite cautious when involved with this person again, as you'll be even more determined for it to thrive and succeed.
You may have trusted them once before only for it to be broken, which is why it's a good idea to take it slow this time round.
You'll want to allow plenty of time for things to develop naturally between the two of you without feeling any pressure to rush or speed up the process. Trust doesn't develop overnight but comes with time and patience.
Even though you once knew this person on a deep and meaningful level, respect that this was in the past - it's true that people change over time.
Realise that they may not be the same person as you once knew and take the time to get to know them in present day, instead of referring to them as who they were in the past. Similarly, they will understand that you have also changed in the time that has passed.
Each of you may not want to talk about the past, especially if it left one or both of you feeling betrayed and hurt, but your past will be the elephant in the room if you choose to ignore this aspect.
Talking about this past is a great way to reflect together in a calm and neutral matter - so please don't play the Blame Game and bring fresh anger into a recovering relationship. This is the worst thing you could possibly do as it may cause unhealthy emotions to come right back.
Before you can trust each other again, you must learn to respect each other. Remember to be patient and this may take some time as respect can only be genuine and true. Respect who this person has become and consider their qualities.
What do you particularly admire about them? Have they improved on themselves and become a better person in the time that's passed? Once you've found reasons to admire them, respect will naturally stem from this.
While you're building trust, you should always remember to communicate. This means sharing both major and minor issues with this person, and eventually you will feel like you can talk to them openly about almost anything. I
f you're feeling particularly emotional or overwhelmed with the relationship, it's important to share this to allow it become a healthy release. Communicate so that the two of you can work together and find ways to improve the relationship.
Sometimes it's hard to reflect on a relationship when we're emotionally involved or invested. Distance in relationships is healthy because it allows us to take a step back and observe with a clearer perspective.
Make sure you have some time for yourself, a little break every now and again, so that you can reflect on the relationship itself. Ask yourself how you feel about it and if it's affecting you in a positive or negative way.
A positive attitude can make all the difference in situations when we're beginning to built trust in a relationship. This is because it encourages us to keep an open mind and an open heart. Believe that it can progress in a positive way and have faith and hope that it can work.
If you sense it's beginning to dwindle, don't take the easy way out by bailing on the relationship and this person. Make a genuine effort to see how it can be fixed and made better!