Even though the rebound is a natural progression for many people who have just gotten out of relationships, there are still several ways to handle a rebound relationship that will keep both parties from getting hurt. Sometimes rebounds are temporary distractions and sometimes they work out for the long term – each one is different, although some characteristics are similar. The only problem with the rebound relationship is that one or both of you may end up hurt. To make sure that you heal, have a good time, and don't treat your new partner badly, consider the following ways to handle a rebound relationship tactfully, tastefully, and honestly.
In fact, honesty is the most important part of any rebound relationship. Begin by being honest with yourself about your reasoning and motivations. Why are you interested in a rebound relationship? There's no wrong answer here, because you might need a distraction, some companionship, a little casual fun, or a self-esteem boost, especially if your last relationship crashed your self confidence. Employing honesty all the way around is one of the most vital ways to handle a rebound relationship without causing any pain.
So, you need to be honest with your rebound as well. Of course, you don't need to tell your new squeeze that he or she is a rebound, unless you're really comfortable doing so. What I mean is that you should let him or her know that right now, you're not really looking for anything serious. Let the new person know that you want something light, fun, and casual, because that way you aren't leading the person on or making any false promises.
Just because this is a rebound doesn't mean that you need to treat the person shabbily. Don't endlessly discuss your last relationship. That's disrespectful for anyone, but it will also make it clear to your new partner that he or she is a rebound. Save your ranting, venting, and crying for your besties. This is something brand new, even if it's a way for you to heal.
Maybe your ex broke up with you or maybe you did the dumping. Either way, it's natural to try to make him or her feel jealous – but don't. Odds are, seeing you with your rebound isn't going to make your ex run back to you, so don't use your new partner in that way. This is a person, not a ploy or a toy. Don't go into the rebound with the hope that your former lover will start seething with jealousy, because that's not fair to anyone involved.
Notice I said “too much,” because a little comparison is natural in any relationship. It definitely comes up in a rebound. Just try to temper it, because your rebound relationships are supposed to help you move forward. If you're constantly comparing someone new to your former partner, you're not moving forward; you're keeping yourself mired in the muck of the past. Even if this relationship is only temporary, it's something fresh and new, so treat it that way.
Never, ever mistreat your rebound partner. You might know right away that it isn't forever, that you like the person but probably won't fall in love, but that's no reason to be mean, indifferent, or dismissive. That's why it's so important to be honest upfront. Again, don't treat this new date like a thing, an object, or a means to an end. Have a good time, whatever the nature of your relationship.
All that being said, sometimes rebounds last quite a bit longer than you expect. I'm technically marrying mine, and she's technically marrying hers! You never know what might happen, so try not to go into your rebound with some set time limit or a bunch of preconceived notions. Just go with the flow, have fun with this new person, and see where it leads – even if it leads to a dead end, at least you'll enjoy the journey!
What's your take on rebound relationships? Are they healthy and natural, or a waste of time? While you're at it, share some of your favorite (or funniest) rebound stories!