For some reason, there is a misconception that just because you are in a long and committed relationship, you have to give up on your independence and start doing everything and anything as a couple, or not at all. Personally, I think that this is a rather immature way to think about romance, and although this kind of personality erasure can happen to certain couples, it definitely doesn’t have to be the only way. Here are some ways to stay independent in a long term relationship.
1. Own Interests
It is essential that you maintain your own interests along making new interests with your partner. It is nice to have something that is only yours; you don’t have to open up every feature of your life and invite your partner in too.
2. You Time
If you love your partner then you obviously want to spend time with them, but you don’t have to become a double-headed person! Make sure to give yourself some ‘me time’ alongside your couple time. You might like to unwind in different ways than your partner.
3. Stay You
There is no denying that we all have to compromise and evolve in relationships, but this should not be at the expense of your true self. Always try to stay you, and if you feel pressured to change yourself, it might not be the best situation for you to be in.
4. Don’t Ignore Friends
It can be a whirlwind when you first fall in love with someone and you create a bubble to exist in together for a while. When it comes to long term though, it really is important that you spend a large amount of quality with your friends as well.
5. Your Space
If you live together, it is important to have a space in the home that is just yours. Whether its an office or even just a cute corner nook, you need a space to call your own that you don’t have to argue with your partner about, and vice versa!
6. Don’t Compromise on Core Values
Like I said, all relationships involve a little bit of compromise, but not when it comes to the core values that make you you. You should always maintain your key beliefs and not allow a partner try to change you fundamentally.
7. Speak up
Don’t sit and stew if there is something that has been annoying you, you will only end up boiling over like a kettle! Instead, make sure to speak up when you first feel the annoyance, and you will be able to nip it at the bud.
8. Believe in Yourself
It’s essential to believe in yourself, even when your partner might be not on the same level of enthusiasm as you.
Never let anything go unsaid that should be said! Communication is key, and the more you talk, the easier and more free-flowing your relationship will be.
10. Not Your Owner
Remember this, he is your partner, not your owner! Your relationship needs to be on equal footing and equal respect for you to maintain happiness and independence.
11. Time Apart
It’s okay to spend time apart, in fact, it’s recommended! Make sure that you find time to go on plenty of trips with the girls to get away from the partnership every now and then.
Make sure that you always share things with your partner, so that they know what is important to you. The more they know about you, the more they will cater to your need to independence.