7 Ways to Survive Infidelity ...

Alison

Coping with infidelity is incredibly tough. Anyone who´s been cheated on knows how destructive it is to your self-esteem when you find out that the partner you trusted has let you down. Unfortunately, it will happen to many of us, so knowing how to survive infidelity could stand you in good stead. So here are some tips on coping with infidelity …

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1

Give Yourself Time

My first hint on coping with infidelity is to recognise that it takes time to get over the shock of finding out that the person you love has had an affair. It´s an awful realisation, and changes your life and your outlook. So accept that you will feel upset, angry and a variety of other emotions; these feelings are normal and valid.

2

Their Responsibility

A cheater will often try to blame you for their behaviour. You gained weight, were too busy with the kids, they felt neglected … or they blame the other party for “tempting” them. The responsibility lies with them – don´t let them make you feel that it´s your fault.

3

Takes Two

Frequently it´s the “other woman” who gets the blame for the affair. Yes, she was wrong to have an affair with someone who was already in a relationship, but your partner is the one who cheated on you. She may even have been fooled into believing he was single. So remember that it takes two to have an affair, and don´t let your partner off the hook.

4

You´re Stronger than You Think

I won´t say that it´s easy coping with infidelity. It certainly is not. But even though your life has been turned upside down (or perhaps because of it), you discover hidden reserves of strength that you never knew you had. Nobody wants to be cheated on, but you can come out of the experience a much stronger person.

5

New Life

Sometimes, the key to knowing how to survive infidelity is to be prepared to start all over again. If you can´t live with your partner any more, then you have to move on. It´s tough, and takes a lot of adjustment, but you can do it – and in the long run will be much happier for it.

6

Forget Details

It´s tempting to badger your partner for every little detail of the liaison. How did they meet? What does she look like? How long has it been going on? However, this can become an obsession, and will not help you get over the experience. So even if you need to know some things, don´t ask endless questions. You´ll just drive yourself crazy.

7

Forgive

This option is not for everyone. Many of us could never forgive a partner for cheating on us. If that is the case, then the best option is to separate and move on. Some people, however, prefer to try working through the situation and rescue the relationship. This can work if the person who cheated is genuinely sorry, and willing to put the effort into rebuilding trust.

Coping with infidelity is a difficult situation, as it comes as a terrible shock to find out that your relationship is not what you thought it was. Trust is damaged, sometimes beyond repair, and your self-esteem also suffers. But you can cope – it takes a lot of effort, but it is possible. If you have been cheated on, or indeed been the one who cheated, do you know from experience how to survive infidelity?

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My fiancé didnt cheat per say, he was just texting another girl inappropriate texts, and it has happened before. Its not that he doesnt love me, hes just too naïve to realise what he was doing (not an excuse, I promise) this article is great and very true! Forgive if you can, learn to live without them if you can't.

I could have used this awhile ago! My ex cheated on me. I found out while we were on a world tour with our choir in Austria. It was probably one of the hardest situations I had to deal with,1 because he cheated 2 because his parents were on the trip and had no idea what was going on and 3 because it turned out a majority of my friends knew and never told me. We ended up working through it and a month later got engaged- my heart was not into it but when you're in a hot air balloon with his whole family and strangers at 1,200 feet jumping out really wasn't an option. ANYWHO! Not so long after that I found out about the other, as far as I know, 15 women and ended it with him. Not only did I start a clean slate with not having him in my life, but also getting a new circle of friends. It's funny how often we have to find a new circle of friends because of guy! Long post, but thanks for the article!!

Thank you, I needed this. BAD.

I found out my then boyfriend was having an emotional affair with a girl from our old high school while I was five months pregnant. And the only reason I had an inkling about the affair was because he was always on her Instagram... So I did some digging and found their old Facebook messages to each other. He was telling her how he wanted her to move with him when he came back from his deployment! While I was very much pregnant with his child and we were engaged and planning to live together! I didn't find out until after we were married and had our baby a short four months after he made those comments to her. He continued to deny it until I showed him the proof- then he admitted to it. It's been four months since I found out and I'm still hurt and heart broken. He says he regrets it and is truly sorry. And I stayed with him. For our son. And I still love him. But part of me wants to leave him and never look back. I'm so lost right now.

Nice article. Posted on my fb

M not sure if my hubby still stay connected with his ex.. He often receives calls from that $@%@.. I confront him on this but he denies..I doubt on him whenever he went out with his guy friends.. he might out to meet her? He promised me to leave her.. Should I trust him? Or should I spy on him? Need advice..

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