What do Men Think about during the First Date?

Konstantina

What do Men Think about during the First Date?
What do Men Think about during the First Date?

First dates can get stressful. And it is at that moment when he is in front of you that you wish you had the superpower to read minds. The time you are in front of him, his mind is also running, just like yours. What does he really think at those times? Well, what do you think? Your thoughts are not so different.

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1

Physical Appearance

Whether we like it or not the physical appearance is the first thing people notice about someone. And your man won’t be an exception. He will notice your physical appearance. Of course, chances are you have met before and he liked the way you look and that’s why he asked you out, but that doesn’t mean that he won’t also be thinking about it during the first date. He will also most likely, have the fleeting thought of how much time did it take for you to get ready for this date. Stereotypes about women that spent many hours in front of a mirror run strong and he can’t help it.

***

Physical appearance goes much further than the initial attraction though. On a first date, he's likely to admire the little details you might not even think of—how your jewellery matches your outfit, the way your hair frames your face, or even how your smile lights up the room. It's these subtleties that can leave a lasting impression. In his mind, he's piecing together the image of someone he'd potentially want to be with. Remember, it's not just about looking good, it's about the confidence you exude when you feel good in your skin.

2

Your Finances

It’s not that he necessarily has a complex about it but he will wonder if you are making more money than he does. This can get pretty stressful to men. He is not going to ask you but he will wonder how much money are you making and if you are a high maintenance woman that can afford to be one on her own.

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Often, men are brought up to believe that they should be the breadwinners in a relationship. This societal expectation may weigh on his mind as he tries to assess your lifestyle and career achievements. What might appear as casual conversation about your job or ambitions is often a subtle way of gauging if financial equality or disparity will play a role in a potential relationship. He might be considering how this could impact future dates, shared experiences, and the traditional dating dynamic where the man is expected to pick up the bill.

3

Touch

He will probably want to touch you. A brush of his fingers there, holding your hand, or even a small kiss on your cheek. He will consider this for quite a while though. He wouldn’t want to rush into things and he will certainly wonder if he should touch you or if you will get annoyed by it. He will also wonder if you will want to touch him.

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Understanding the importance of personal space and the power of a tactile connection, he might use subtle gestures, like a gentle touch on the small of your back as you walk through a doorway, or a quick squeeze of your shoulder when you both share a laugh. However, he's acutely aware of the signal he sends; a touch too bold or too soon can be off-putting. So while his desire to establish a physical connection is a sign of his attraction, he'll likely err on the side of caution, ensuring every brush is both welcoming and appropriate.

4

Whether You like the Place He Took You

This is something he considers before, during, and many times after the date. He will try to judge your reaction the moment you walk into the restaurant or the bar and he will wonder if he made the right choice. It is possible he will ask you if you like the place, but even if you reassure him you like it he will still have some doubts lingering.

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Men are often anxious to make a good impression, and choosing the right venue can say a lot about their style and intentions. He may wonder if the ambiance is comfortable or if the music isn't too loud for good conversation. He's also gauging whether the choice aligns with your interests, since sharing a pleasant environment can be the first step to finding common ground. If you do express genuine enjoyment, he'll likely feel a sense of relief and success; your contentment is a reflection on his thoughtfulness.

5

Your Smile

Yes, he might spent some time thinking how beautiful your smile is, but most importantly he will care how genuine it is. He can’t help but wonder whether you are smiling because you feel like it or you are simply being polite.

***

A smile can speak a thousand words, and if it reaches your eyes, it can light up the entire room. What runs through his mind is whether he's the reason behind that sparkle. It's not just about the curve of your lips; it's the joy and honesty that radiates from it that captivates him. He's looking to see if your laughter is just as sincere, hoping to find that undeniable connection that can only come from the heart.

6

Whether You like Him or Not

This is one of the most possible things he will be thinking. You might have accepted his invitation to go out with him or maybe you were the one to ask him out but he will still keep wondering if you like him or not. It is way too early to ask you about it so he will simply sit opposite you and try to figure it out by your body language, your smile or the way you look at him.

7

He is Picturing You Naked

Don’t judge. Chances are you are also picturing him naked in your head and wondering what is he hiding under his clothes. Same goes for him. It doesn’t mean that he expects to actually see you naked at that day but he will definitely think about it.

***

It's a natural part of the human mating dance, a play of imagination that helps assess physical compatibility. When he's imagining you without your clothes, it's not a sign of disrespect. Rather, it reveals his attraction and curiosity. However, it's important to remember that while such thoughts are instinctive, acting on them without consent is never okay. So, even if he's undressing you with his eyes, he should still maintain boundaries and show you respect throughout the date. After all, a gentleman knows that true attraction is about connecting on multiple levels, not just the physical.

8

Sex

Men and women alike think about sex often. The fact that he is in a date with a woman he likes will not change that. On the contrary, he might be thinking about sex even more. It’s a natural response. And chances are you are also thinking about sex so don’t judge him for it.

***

However, while thoughts of sex might drift into his mind, it's important to remember that attraction takes many forms. He is likely also contemplating compatibility, chemistry, and emotional connection. It's not just about the physical aspect but about picturing a potential future with you. Mutual attraction is key, and he's probably trying to ascertain the signals you're sending. There's no denying the role of physical desire, but for many men, connecting on multiple levels is equally vital for a relationship's prospects. Establishing a bond that goes beyond the physical is a fundamental goal for most.

9

Whether There Will Be a Second Date

You might be laughing, you might be talking with him looking interested of whatever it is he says but he will have doubts of whether you will want a second date or not and he will spent some time considering it.

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The anticipation can be nerve-wracking, with each glance and smile analyzed for hidden meaning. He'll wonder if the chemistry feels as electric on both sides and if the connection being forged is strong enough to warrant meeting up again. The tick-tock of the mental countdown begins, questioning when it's appropriate to broach the subject of a follow-up outing. Will she say yes? The uncertainty can be as thrilling as it is terrifying – a mental tango between hope and hesitance.

10

If You Are Bored

Just because you don’t look bored it doesn’t mean you aren’t. This will be one of his thoughts. He will not be able to help it and he will also consider if you would have liked to be somewhere else. That’s why he might suggest that maybe you should go somewhere else. You are on a date with him, he wants you to have a good time.

11

Who Will Get to Pay for the Date

This isn’t ancient times where men always picked up the tab. Women nowadays have good jobs and they can take care of themselves. So a fleeting thought about that will cross his mind. He will wonder if you would try to convince him to share the bill and if you are, how hard he will fight you to let him pick it up.

***

The modern dating scene is all about equality, and he knows it. There might be a playful dance around the check when it arrives—will she reach for her wallet, or won't she? It's a subtle test of independence and values. Regardless of who ends up paying, the gesture itself speaks volumes about mutual respect and financial attitudes, setting the tone for potential future outings together.

12

Whether He Should Kiss You Goodnight

Just like with touching you, he will spend some time wondering if he should kiss you goodnight, leave it for the next date, or even if he should suggest you invite him in for a cup of coffee when he drops you off. In that case, he will think about it and stress about it quite a lot.

There you have it. Thoughts men have during their first date. If you consider it, what men think about during the first date is not different from what women think. Dates can go different ways for everyone. Relax and enjoy it as much as you like and somehow hope he will also relax and enjoy it. Happy dating!

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