I'm sure we've all heard this advice: Be yourself on a first date! But do you really want to come out and tell him all about your past, your issues, your likes and dislikes without really knowing him? The answer is no! I think a better way to put it is: Be yourself only Better on a First Date.
You have just met him, you don’t know him well and there is that fear of being judged. All this makes you feel vulnerable and nervous. Besides, there are questions that just won’t let you be: what if he doesn’t like you, or you don’t like him? What if both of you run out of things to say? What if the chemistry is missing? Will you get physical? Will it be awkward? And so on…
All in all, the anticipation can be overwhelming. Most of us have been there, and I have faced some tough moments myself. Advice, coming from recent experience, is precious at this stage. I hope you find something of value in my tips on **how to be yourself, only better, on a first date.
Table of contents:
- choose the right venue
- how much time are you planning to spend?
- don’t overplan
- avoid being judgmental
- make up and dressing up
- keep out your emotional baggage
- just be yourself!
1 Choose the Right Venue
In order to feel relaxed during your date, it is important that you are comfortable with the venue that’s been chosen, and know that your partner is comfortable too. If you don’t know the person well, it is best if the venue is a mutual choice. Also make sure that the place is not too noisy or overcrowded. That way you will hardly get an opportunity to talk and get to know each other.
2 How Much Time Are You Planning to Spend?
Another important consideration is the length of time you are planning to spend on your first date. If it is a relatively new person, you may not know whether you will both hit it off, and have a lot of things to say. So, keep your plan short and sweet. If you feel that the day or the evening was over too quickly, that is a good sign. It means that you will be more eager to plan a second date.
3 Don’t Overplan
If you know the person, you can naturally be more flexible with your plan and venue. However, just make sure you are not going too far with your planning. I once dated a colleague who I had known quite well, and for our first date we decided to go to this big sporting event. It was noisy and overcrowded, and we were hot and sweaty by the time we got out. To make matters worse, we got caught in a huge exit traffic jam, and had to cancel our dinner. What was planned as an audacious adventure, ended up being a disaster of an evening. I felt really bad because it was all my plan.
4 Avoid Being Judgmental
This is such an important on how to be yourself, only better on a first date. During the first date there is always a 50% chance that the person may do something you will not like. For instance, he may crack the sort of joke you dislike or get you a gift that you may think is too personal or inappropriate for a first date. However, it is best to mask negative feelings as well as you can during your date. Don’t be judgmental or unkind, as the person is probably feeling just as vulnerable as you are. If you find it necessary to say something, it is best if you do it as positively as you possibly can, the next time you communicate.
5 Make up and Dressing up
A big part of a woman’s confidence is knowing that she is looking good for the evening. Both make up and dressing up play a big role. However, it is easy to overdo both aspects in a bid to transform yourself. Not a good idea, according to me. You have to go in assuming that your date wants to know who you are and what you look like, rather than seeing an illusion. Would you really care for a guy who thinks the other way round? Again the key is to be a better "you", not a different "you".
6 Keep out Your Emotional Baggage
You may have a history of bad relationships or even a failed marriage behind you, but the first date is not the time to unload your emotional baggage on your new partner. It can be very off-putting to have someone seek out your support for their emotional problems, before you have even got to know them. Let the person see your bright side on this occasion.
7 Just Be Yourself!
The article is titled ‘how to be yourself only better on a first date’, so this tip probably sounds like a no-brainer! However, what I’m trying to say that you should act and behave as normally and naturally as possible. Usually, on a first date, women tend to behave like someone they would like to be rather than who they are. It is a bad deception tactic. After all, you would want your date to like who you really are, and not someone you are pretending to be. So, if hard rock music gives you a headache, don’t pretend otherwise.
Keep in mind that I don’t want you to make a long list of tips and cramp your style in the process. These tips are only there to help you examine how you are going about setting up your date and how you plan to behave during it. If I had to pick one from these tips, I would pick the last one. If you wanted to know in one line** how to be yourself only better on a first date**, I would say be natural.
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