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What You'll Really Feel when You Lose Your Virginity ...

Lyndsie

Losing your virginity is highly personal and, obviously, it's different for everyone. Every experience is unique, even when it's not – but there are also a few universal truths that most girls and women feel after they have sex for the first time – consensually. They're things you don't necessarily hear about, but they're nevertheless true – maybe not for everybody, and nobody experiences all of them, but you get what I mean, right? Do you recognize any of these feelings?

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1. You'll Feel like Everybody Knows

You'll Feel like Everybody Knows Everybody. You'll feel like you have a big neon sign on your forehead and an arrow pointing at your vagina.

2. But You'll Realize It Doesn't Matter as Much to Other People

But You'll Realize It Doesn't Matter as Much to Other People Nobody can tell just by looking at you, and although there are some exceptions, most people wouldn't care if they did know.

Frequently asked questions

3. You'll Define Your Own Virginity

You'll Define Your Own Virginity How? Well, what does sex mean to you? The traditional definition of virginity is probably what pops into your head, right? The equation probably involves a penis, a vagina, and possibly a hymen, but see, that doesn't really take into consideration how guys feel. Plus, what if you're a lesbian and your first time is with another girl? What if you're a gay guy and your first time is with another boy?

4. You'll Have Some Feelings about Your Hymen

You'll Have Some Feelings about Your Hymen If you have a hymen, that is. It might have caused you some pain or you may not have felt anything. Either one is normal. A little blood is normal, but many women don't bleed the first time they have sex. Basically, there's no normal because just about everything's normal.

5. You Might Feel Let down

You Might Feel Let down For any variety of reasons – it depends on how you viewed your virginity in the first place.

6. You Might Feel Disappointed

You Might Feel Disappointed Especially if you didn't get off – and a lot of women don't. It is disappointing when you don't achieve an orgasm because orgasms are awesome, but sex is a learning process for all the parties involved. In time, it will get better – but don't be afraid to speak up and tell your partner what you like and what you need.

***

Disappointment might stem from high expectations or movie myths surrounding the first time. Remember, intimacy is not just about the climax; it's also about the connection and exploration of each other's bodies and desires. It's perfectly normal for the first experience not to be mind-blowing, as sexual chemistry and understanding often deepen with experience. Prioritize open communication and focus on the journey together, discovering the pleasures that work for both of you. With patience and practice, the disappointment will likely turn into satisfaction.

7. It's Possible You'll Decide Sex is Nothing Special

It's Possible You'll Decide Sex is Nothing Special You might even decide you hate it. That's cool. You'll try again when – and if – you're ready.

8. But You Might Be Ready Right Away

But You Might Be Ready Right Away That is also beautiful.

***

Every person's emotional readiness is unique, and for some, there's no uncertainty or waiting period needed. If you're fully comfortable with the idea of sex, knowledgeable about what it entails and the implications, and in a safe, consensual situation, you may find that you're completely prepared to take this step. Trust in your feelings and the connection with your partner—it's totally okay to embrace your sexuality whenever you feel the time is right for you. And remember, being ready doesn't diminish the importance or significance of the experience.

9. If You Weren't Safe, You'll Regret It

If You Weren't Safe, You'll Regret It Every time. Even if you're both virgins.

10. If You Were, You'll Have Fewer Worries

If You Were, You'll Have Fewer Worries Not everybody feels anxious about everything – or anything – after their first time, but if you practice safe sex, at least you won't have to worry about your health.

11. You Will Not Be an Expert

You Will Not Be an Expert You might strut a little, though.

***

You might strut a little, though. Seriously, it's a momentous occasion. That newfound confidence is glowing and palpable, but remember, becoming truly skilled at anything takes practice and time. It's a journey of exploration and learning what works best for you and your partner. Expect some fumbling and awkwardness; it's completely normal. Embrace the experience with patience, and understand that it's perfectly fine not to have all the answers right away. Celebrate the small victories and let them build your confidence, knowing that intimacy is a skill that evolves with mutual trust and communication.

12. Things May Get Awkward

Things May Get Awkward You might feel awkward in general, and things with your partner can feel awkward as well. Even if your partner wasn't someone you're dating or seeing seriously, it can still feel weird.

13. You'll Also Realize That This Person is Stuck with You Forever

You'll Also Realize That This Person is Stuck with You Forever In memory, at least. No matter what happens, whether you look back and smile or cringe, your partner's right there.

14. But Not Your Soul or Your Heart

But Not Your Soul or Your Heart You don't have to be emotionally or physically bound to the person you lose your virginity with. It might happen, but it probably won't, and that's okay.

***

Losing your virginity is a physical act, and while it can be special and memorable, remember that your emotions and spirit are distinctly yours. They're not something that you give away with your virginity; instead, they're aspects of who you are that grow and change with experiences. So, even if you don't feel an everlasting emotional connection with your first partner, that's perfectly normal. Your self-worth and essence remain intact and uniquely yours, no matter who you share intimate moments with.

15. Porn is Not Real Life

Porn is Not Real Life In no way, shape, or form. That is never more obvious than after your first time.

16. You Might Wonder if It's Always over That Quickly

You Might Wonder if It's Always over That Quickly If you are a guy or you're with a guy who came quickly, this is definitely a thought. The answer is no, it's not – and hey, it might not happen to you. But if it happens to anyone involved, it's okay. Don't be embarrassed.

17. You Can Define Your Own First Time, Too

You Can Define Your Own First Time, Too Have as many as you want or need. Just as a for instance, I consider my first time with a girl entirely different from my first time with a guy – mainly because I actually got off.

How did you feel – if it's not too personal?

Feedback Junction

Where Thoughts and Opinions Converge

This was a good article. I do regret losing my virginity when I did; I admit it. I am not with the guy now and he was not the one God had set aside for me. I thought i was so in love with him but I realized later he was not worthy of my love. I just wish I would have waited. But I am not "stuck" in that mind frame and beating myself up over it, because I will be given another chance and when I do make the choice to take that step again, i know it will be with the man God has set aside for me. 😊

Unfortunately, he was my first everything: date, loss of vCard,...

*p.s., on a more physical note, it did hurt for me, lol. The hymen part of it

I haven't done it yet but it is great to finally know what to expect, my friends made it sound horrible.

Hahaha life eh!

This article was great, it helped me understand what to expect :)

#9 yes I know from experience I got pregnant the very 1st time I ever had sex at 15

My first time sucked,we were both 13 and really awkward,too young to even know what we were doing I really wish I waited a bit longer....

Im a virgin and I am very worried about the fact that people say it hurts. My boyfriend and I had tried but it hurt to much so we stopped... im really scared...

💓 your comment Courtney! My first, at 27, was just someone that I wanted to have a relationship with. We were non-traditionally dating. He called it off due to grad school and work (I'm sure that didn't take all 24 hours a day everyday). Three months and now trying to come to terms with whatever it was. Waiting for the real gift from God...