When I look back at the heartbreaks I've had, I see that many were because I didn't see the signs a relationship isn't going to work out. Sometimes I didn't know they were there, but most of the time I didn't see them because I didn't want to. I guess the knowledge that there was something I simply couldn't fix was too much for me to face. I'm sure some of you can relate. I may not be able to change the past, but one thing I can do is give you the signs a relationship isn't going to work out so you won't have to go through the pain and frustration I did. Here are 9 of them, although I'm sure you can think of more.
Snapshot Survey
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1. He Tries to Change You in Any Way
The inability to accept one another as you are is one of the biggest signs a relationship isn't going to work out. I'm not talking about small things like your taste in movies. I'm talking about the major things-how you dress, who you hang out with, where you work etc. If you're bored with life and would like to try something new, that's fine. However, if being with him would require big changes you're not willing to make, hang it up. He needs to be able to be with you for who you *are*, not who he thinks he can make you into.
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No relationship is perfect, and it's normal to have disagreements and to work through issues. However, if your partner is trying to change you in a way that you are not comfortable with, it could be a sign that the relationship isn't going to work out. This could mean that they are trying to control you or make you into someone you are not. It is important to be with someone who accepts you for who you are and respects your boundaries. If your partner is not willing to accept you as you are, it is a sign that the relationship is not healthy and may not be worth continuing.
2. You Feel the Need to Change Him
“Take me as I am” goes in both directions. It's one thing to try to get him not to wear the shirt with the naked women on it when your mom comes over. That's a given. However, it's something completely different if you're trying to get a vegan to share your love of bacon or a “city boy” to eat fried squirrel. If you want him to accept you the way you are, you need to be willing to do the same for him. Think of it this way - if he's not what you want, why are you with him?
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This text is talking about accepting your partner for who they are. If you are trying to change them, it is a sign that the relationship is not going to work out. It is important to remember that relationships require compromise and understanding. If you are not willing to accept your partner for who they are, then the relationship is not going to last. If you want your partner to accept you for who you are, you need to be willing to do the same for them. Ultimately, relationships should be based on mutual respect and understanding. If you are not willing to accept your partner for who they are, it is likely that the relationship is not going to work out.
Frequently asked questions
There are usually signs that something’s off, like constant arguments, avoiding serious talks, or feeling happier when you're apart. Trust your gut if something feels not right.
It often means they’ve thought about it and feel the relationship isn’t going to survive long-term. It’s usually a sign they’re ready to call it quits.
Be honest but kind. Something like, 'I care about you, but I don’t think this relationship is right for me,' can open up a conversation without being too harsh.
There could be many reasons, like different goals, lack of communication, or simply growing apart. Sometimes, it's no one's fault; it just happens.
First, talk to your partner about your feelings. Communication is key. If things don’t improve, it might be time to consider moving on for both your happiness.
3. You're Not at the Same Place in Your Lives
This is where age can become a factor. However, there's a huge difference between a 25-year-old college student living at home and a single professional of the same age. This isn't to say that you shouldn't get involved with an otherwise-great guy because of this, but there needs to be a plan to eventually get to the same place. It can't just be a plan “on paper”, either; there has to be solid action involved. Trust me, waiting for someone to play “catch-up” to you gets old quickly.
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Age is an important factor to consider when entering into a relationship. It can be difficult to maintain a healthy relationship when two people are at different stages in their lives. For example, a 25-year-old college student living at home and a single professional of the same age may have different goals and expectations. This doesn’t mean that the relationship should be avoided, but there should be a plan to eventually bring the two individuals to a similar place in their lives.
In order for the relationship to work, both individuals need to be on the same page. This means having honest conversations about the future and discussing each other’s goals, expectations, and plans. It also means taking action to move towards the same place in life. If one person is waiting for the other to catch up, it can create tension and resentment in the relationship.
4. He Can't 'handle You' during the Hard Times
Sorry, but it's not always 'rainbows and butterflies.' There are going to be bad moods, stress with work, issues with family and pretty much everything else that comes with building a life with someone. The two of you need to be able to help each other (or at least manage) during those times if your relationship is going to work. Those of us with mood or anxiety problems will need a special touch, but the right partner will be able to give that touch. You'll both have to work at it, but he should at least be willing to try, rather than running off because it's not fun anymore.
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The key to a successful relationship is being able to handle the hard times together. If your partner is not willing to help you or manage your moods during those times, it may be a sign that the relationship isn't going to work out. It's important to have a partner who is understanding and supportive, especially when it comes to mental health issues. It's also important to be willing to put in the effort to make it work, but if one partner isn't willing to do that, the relationship is unlikely to last. If your partner isn't able to handle you during the hard times, it may be a sign that the relationship isn't going to work out.
5. You Don't See Any Long-term Potential
It's one thing if you're just having fun, but the stakes are higher when it comes to long-term relationships. My parents used to say that you should never seriously date anyone you couldn't marry because, in some cases, you may have to. I grew up in “shotgun-wedding” country, but this advice applies anywhere. If you know this isn't a person you want in your life long-term, then either make it clear that you're just dating for fun or walk away. I'd suggest the latter.
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This advice applies to any situation, not just those in "shotgun wedding" country. If you don't see any long-term potential in a relationship, it's best to be honest and let the other person know that you're just looking for something casual. If they're looking for something more serious, it's better to walk away now than to lead them on and hurt them later. This is especially true if you know that you don't want the relationship to last in the long run. It's important to be honest and upfront with your partner, and to respect their feelings.
6. Your Needs Aren't Being Met
Despite what 80's love songs say, we can't expect our partner to be our “everything”. You can have everything else in common, but your boyfriend is never going to watch marathons of “Project Runway” with you or dish over which guy on Downton Abbey is the hottest. It's just not going to happen. If your needs in the relationship area aren't being met, though, you need to talk. The two of you should be able to listen to each other and try to meet whatever needs you can. Otherwise, it's not going work.
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If your relationship isn't meeting your needs, it may be time to reassess. It's important to be able to listen to each other and try to meet each other's needs, but it's also important to recognize when those needs can't be met. If your partner is not interested in activities that are important to you, it may be a sign that the relationship is not going to work out. It is important to be honest and open with your partner and to be able to communicate your needs in order to make sure that the relationship is healthy and fulfilling for both of you.
7. There's No Trust
This sounds obvious, but you'd be surprised. If he's given you a reason not to trust him, that's understandable. But if you find yourself hacking into his Facebook account or reading his text messages when he leaves the room, that's a problem. If nothing else, you need to figure out what's behind your distrust and work on that. Contrary to popular belief, time and/or marriage will not solve this problem.
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If there is no trust in a relationship, it is a major red flag. Trust is essential for a healthy relationship, and if it is absent, it can be difficult to reestablish. Signs that trust is lacking include constantly snooping on your partner, or feeling like you need to keep secrets from them. If your partner has given you a reason to not trust them, it is important to understand why and work on rebuilding trust. Without trust, a relationship is unlikely to last, and it is important to talk to your partner about it and work together to restore trust.
8. You're Doing All the “work” in the Relationship
My parents taught me that relationships, like most other things in life, are what we make of them. There has to be a “give and take” to make the relationship work. That doesn't mean you'll be at the same level at all times; there are going to be times when one person has to “give” more to support the other. Sometimes it will feel like “work”; sometimes it won't. However, if he doesn't care enough about the relationship to meet you halfway, take a step back. And another … and another … you get the idea. Now, for one of the biggest signs a relationship isn't going to work out:
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No relationship is perfect, and it's normal to have ups and downs. But when it feels like you're doing all the work in the relationship, it's a sign that things may not be as they should be.
When one person is doing all the giving and the other isn't meeting them halfway, this can create an imbalance in the relationship. This can lead to feelings of resentment, frustration, and even anger. Additionally, it can cause a person to question the value of the relationship and whether it is worth investing in.
A healthy relationship requires both partners to be willing to put in the effort to make it work. This involves communication, compromise, and understanding. If one person is not willing to meet you halfway, it's a sign that they may not be as invested in the relationship as you are.
It's important to remember that a relationship is not a one-way street. Both partners should be willing to put in the effort to make it work. If it feels like you're doing all the work, it may be time to take a step back and assess the situation. If your partner is unwilling to meet you halfway, it may be a sign that the relationship isn't going to work out.
9. You've Already Decided It's Not Going to Work
My dad gave me some really good advice before I got married. He said that, if you go into your marriage thinking that you can “just” get divorced if things go bad, you might as well not even bother because that's exactly what's going to happen. Judging from the directions some of my friends' relationships have taken, it's definitely true. If you just want a good time, fine. But if you want things to last, you need to work under the assumption that they're going to. It might seem practical to have a 'backup plan' but, if the relationship is good, there won't be a need for one.
As I said earlier, I hope that this information will spare you the heartache of dragging a relationship out when you don't have to. Can you think of more? Are there any I've mentioned that you disagree with? What advice to you have for the rest of us? I'll leave you with one last thought: I think we can all agree that it's worth the effort to save a good relationship. If you're constantly trying to save it, however, it's probably not a good relationship.
Comments
Indie: Sound about right it sound like my ex!
Anew: Thank you for number 4 :)
Bobby: So me and my gf I’m worried she’s interested in another boy she hasn’t talked to me as much as she used to she never says she loves me anymore i see her flirting with other boys and she FaceTimes other boys and I don’t know what to do if you have any advice e mail me back thanks Sincerely Bobby
Misty: Good tips!
faeaki: number 3 is very significant !
Sarah: Sounds about right
CyranoSCW: Why doesn't your fiance approve of your closeness? Does he think something's going on?
CyranoSCW: I know that sounds weird, but some people who are jealous come up with strange theories.
Anna: good advice ??
Yasmin:
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