Did you go on a date recently and you find yourself asking and looking for signs that it’s not a date? Most times, dates can seem clear cut, but I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve been in situations where I thought I was just meeting a friend and it was actually supposed to be a date. It’s not always easy to tell if someone has romantic feelings for you. So, if you’re wondering whether your last outing was merely a meeting between friends or a full-blown date, be sure to check out these seven sure signs that it’s not a date.
Okay, so there will be times that you go on a date with someone where one or more people might happen to be there. Maybe your date invited you to be his date to a small get-together or something similar. But in most cases, if your date asks a friend or friends along or mentions he might bring a few friends on what you thought was supposed to be an intimate rendezvous, you can probably count it as one of the signs that it’s not a date. Sure, things happen and maybe he needed to help a friend out, but in most cases, it will be just the two of you.
So what if the two of you are alone, but your date seems to be short on time and mentions he has to be somewhere in an hour. Again, there are some exceptions, but most people who are truly interested in someone isn’t going to use your date as a time filler or cut your date short to be with others. If something really came up, you can be sure your date will plan another “real” date and make it up to you somehow.
Another way you can tell it’s really not a date is if you find that your date is obviously preoccupied with his ex or yours. Whether he’s wounded, confused or plotting revenge, it’s a pretty safe bet that he’s not ready to move on or is looking for a shoulder to cry on. And if he happens to encourage a rekindling of the romance between you and your ex? Yeah, you can assume he’s not thinking about anything romantic between the two of you.
Whenever you’re on a date, you’ll probably notice that your date wants to get close to you. Not in the super clingy and creepy kind of way, but maybe he mimics your body language or comes in close to talk to you, things like that. If you’re just friends with someone, you’re not going to make an effort, conscious or subconscious, to do any of those things. In fact, if your “date” wants to make it clear that’s it’s just two pals grabbing a bite, he’ll keep his distance.
This next sign isn’t always as clear since it’s perfectly normal for dates to split the bill and what not. Nonetheless, if it’s a true blue date, he will at least offer to pay. Everyone has different views about this and paying for something doesn’t necessarily constitute a date. But if he’s into you, he’ll want to treat you to a nice dinner or drinks or at least offer to foot the bill. If I asked someone out and was really into them, I wouldn’t want my date thinking that we’re just on a casual gathering between friends, but that’s just me.
It’s the end of the night and you’re getting ready for what might be a hug or even a kiss but instead he offers you a firm handshake. Maybe he’s nervous? Yeah, that’s certainly a possibility, but it’s also a possibility that he doesn’t want you to misconstrue an innocent hangout sesh with a date so he tries to make it clear by shaking your hand. If his closing comments are very vague and he doesn’t say anything that further communicates his interest, it’s not a date.
Last but not least, one of the sure signs it’s not a date is if you notice that your date is a little too relaxed. Relaxed in his dress, attitude and maybe even hygiene. Does he appear disheveled, distracted or even disinterested? Everyone has their own M.O. when it comes to dates, but showing up to a date looking like you just woke up or not even making an effort to be presentable and make the date fun is a good indication that it’s not a date.
Everyone is different and has their own way of doing things, but the previous seven signs are pretty safe indicators that you’re not on a date. Now it’s your turn, ladies! Have you ever experienced any of the following scenarios before or maybe you have your own list of signs that it’s not a date. Please share them!
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