Independence is tricky in relationships. The two don’t exactly go hand in hand, if you know what I mean. Sure, independence can be found in relationships, and that’s healthy, but you can’t be completely independent when you’re in a relationship. That makes dating so difficult for people who are smarter and more independent. If you have trouble finding love, you have a new excuse—you’re too smart for it! Ha! I kid, I kid, but seriously, this article inspired by an Elite Daily article will definitely help you feel a little better about your current situation!
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1. Independence is Valued Higher
For a lot of independent people, independence is just much more important than any relationship could be. The thought of giving up your independence just to spend most of your time with another person is just not something an independent person is always willing to do. For a lot of people, independence is just valued higher, and that’s absolutely okay.
2. Standards Become High
Smart people know that they should never be the smartest person in the room. You want to surround yourself with people who are smarter than you at all time, which can make dating difficult. You’re not willing to settle for just anyone, you want to find someone who’s an intellectual match as well as someone who’s compatible, and that can be tricky!
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3. It’s Not Cut and Dry
Most smart people view things very analytically. That can make relationships difficult. There’s no simple solution to a relationship like there is for a math problem, and there’s definitely no guidebook. That can make being in a relationship incredibly difficult for smart and independent people.
4. You like to Analyze
Being in a relationship can be so difficult for people who love analyzing things. If you’re someone who loves to analyze things, you’ve probably noticed that you spend a lot of time analyzing how things are going in your relationship, or something your significant other said to you. You may just notice that you’ve started to analyze your relationship more than you’re enjoying it, and that’s when things get tricky.
5. You’re a Little Bit of a Perfectionist
People who have been told that they’re smart their whole lives tend to be perfectionists. When you’re constantly being told that you’re at a certain level of intelligence, you’re always trying to keep that standard up. That can seep its way into your love life, unfortunately. If you’re single and can’t figure out why, it may just be because you’re always striving for perfection!
6. You Don’t Want to Appear Less Independent
You may be used to being known as the girl who’s always on her own and doesn’t need anyone else. That can be tricky when you want to get into a relationship. You probably don’t want to give up that image you’ve created for yourself, because you love being known as the independent girl, and that can make finding love so hard.
7. It’s Not a Priority
At the end of the day, if you’re smart and independent, finding love is probably just not a priority for where your headspace is. That can be sad and upsetting, but don’t worry, because one day finding love will be a priority, and you’ll learn how to rework your life to fit the perfect person into it!
Are you smart and independent? Have you found that it’s pretty difficult to find love? Tell me your story in the comments!
Comments
MakeUpFiend88: What @Élaine said! Same here
Electric: Definitely something I can agree with! It becomes a challenge, not meeting the guy, but staying mentally stimulated. But I have to agree, it is a give and take
Dianisv: Im a perfectionist, and that has led me to the point of... Will i ever meet the guy? Or is it me who is putting to many barriers?
KissKiss2015: I can definitely relate to this article. One of my aunts actually told me to "dumb down." I'm going to remain true to who I am: smart and independent.
KIM: Naturally because you can fend off for yourself, the guy will assume you don't really need him.
J: I mean if you're independent and don't have time for relationships or can never find a relationship that works, stop trying so hard be yourself and find someone that accepts everything about you
Viki: Yes i was like that...but eventually i met my love now i have baby boy and the priority in life suddenly have changed 😊
Livebeauty: I can be very indepent, but i also have the ability to not be too " independent" when in a relationship.. I know its important to meet each other and spend time together to maintain a relationship. I like this guy and he likes me back but im in senior year and he is in a grade below, i have final exams in like half a year, and i am supposed to know the entire syllabus for six subjects for this two year course im doing. He is a grade below me and he has less schoolstress to deal with than me, so idk if i shuld get in a relationship cuz idk if i hve time or if its rlly just in my head and tht i shuld actually make time. Its rlly confusing and i keep thinking abt it, like daydreaming abt him and everything and it disturbs my productivity for schoolwork.. Idk wht to do
Splashhhh: Really??
Alex_2k13: As I'm a perfectionist and have high expectations I have shaped and analysed a certain situation in my head which seems like the be all and end all. But I feel I can't settle for anything less as that would be lowering my standards and changing who I am. The main thing that I dispose about women who don't prioritise relationships is when people ask if you are a lesbian. Despite the fact that there is nothing wrong with being a lesbian at all, apart from when you're not. I find it offensive when people make assumptions about me and come to a conclusion based on minor details. For a long long time I believed the reason I had never had a relationship with boys in that was was because I was undesirable and unattractive, this outlook has luckily improved for the better from my behalf, but I have now realised that my high expectations are part of the problem. Still to this day I have never had a boyfriend or kissed a boy, forever waiting for it to happen, but making sure it doesn't become my main priority in life.
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