There are many different ways to get a guy's attention in a bar. I used to be really shy when I went out, but was amazed at how some subtle tactics can easily get guys to approach you. You don’t need to blatantly flirt with a guy to get him to notice you; in fact, I found that this often backfires. Guys like to be the chasers. So let them chase! The following is my compilation of subtle ways to get a guy’s attention in a bar without them feeling like you are chasing them.
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1. Eye Contact
One of the easiest ways to get a guy's attention at a bar is to lock eyes with him. But you have to be careful not to be too creepy about this! If you catch a cute guy's eye, hold the contact for a long second, and then shyly look down or away at something. Then, to make sure he knows it wasn't a fluke, look up again and smile. Often on this second look, he will sense your interest, and if he too is interested, he will come over and start a conversation with you. This kind of eye contact gives guys the boost of confidence they need to approach you, because they feel you are at least attracted to them if you gave them a second look.
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The art of eye contact is truly a dance – if done right, it can be incredibly effective. After you've caught his attention with that initial look, maintain an air of mystery. Allow some time to pass, piquing his curiosity. In that period, engage with your friends or casually check your phone, which shows you're not waiting around for him, but you're still approachable. When you do glance back again, let a hint of a flirtatious smile play on your lips. This subtle game of back-and-forth looks can create a spark and a challenge he's eager to meet.
2. Body Position
Body position is key if you are trying to get a guy's attention. You want to make yourself look available, not occupied, since guys are usually looking for girls that can be easily approached. If you are hunched in a corner playing with your phone, or are immersed in a conversation with your friend, guys will typically not come over. You want to have an open body position to give the impression that you are open to talking to other people. So if you catch eyes with cute guy, make sure he has an easy way of coming over and talking to you!
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Maintain a relaxed pose with your arms uncrossed and your palms occasionally visible—this signals openness and friendliness. Lean slightly forward when listening to others, showing that you're engaged and interested. Flash your best smile often, as a warm, genuine smile is universally inviting. By aligning your body towards the door or the bar, you appear more accessible, and it's easier for someone to catch your gaze or strike up a conversation without feeling intrusive. Remember, a poised yet approachable posture can be incredibly enticing, drawing the right kind of attention effortlessly.
Frequently asked questions
I’ve found that making eye contact and smiling genuinely can work wonders. A little bit of body language, like turning your body towards the guy, can also send a clear signal without being too obvious.
This one's a bit tricky but remember, confidence is key. Play it cool—maybe start with a casual comment about the music or ask for a drink recommendation. Just keep it light and natural.
Oh, this can be so much fun! Compliment something he's wearing, or comment on something happening in the bar. Asking open-ended questions always keeps the conversation flowing.
Look for signs—if he keeps looking your way, smiles, or tries to get closer to you, those are pretty strong indicators. If he mirrors your actions or keeps finding reasons to talk to you, you're probably on his radar.
Avoid coming on too strong or being overly aggressive. Also, steer clear of negative talk or complaining—it’s a major buzzkill. Just be yourself and keep the vibe positive and fun.
3. Stand Alone
I know this one can be really awkward, but the least threatening way for a guy to approach a girl is when she is by herself. Guys don't want to face rejection, but it makes it much harder when you are around your friends. If you are by yourself, the guy tends to feel like it is his best opportunity to minimize embarrassment if you turn out to not reciprocate his interest. For this simple reason, standing alone for a bit can greatly increase your chances of a guy approaching you.
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Sometimes it may feel a little uncomfortable to detach yourself from the lively safety net of your friends. However, if you're looking for a one-on-one conversation, creating a little physical space makes you appear more accessible. Eye contact and a warm smile can act as a welcoming invitation without seeming too forward. It's all about balance; look approachable but not desperate, interested but not waiting. By finding a spot where you can enjoy your drink and still observe the scene, you maintain an aura of openness that can be incredibly enticing to someone mustering up the courage to say hello.
4. Smile
Smiling is a great way to get a guy to notice you. Guys don't want to approach girls who look closed off, and smiling gives the impression that you are a friendly person whom they can easily talk to. So if you see a cute guy, smile at him!
5. Pretend You Need Help Getting a Drink
Guys love to feel needed. If you stand at a bar and look helpless, guys will often try to help you get your drink. It makes them feel manly to be able to help a damsel in distress. Does this always work? Of course not. But it works often enough that it's worth a try!
6. Ask Him a Question
If you happen to be next to a guy that is waiting on his drink, you can ask him a question, such as, "What are the best drinks to try here?" or "Do you know what time happy hour goes to?" These are context appropriate questions that will not make it seem like you are blatantly hitting on him. If he is interested, he will attempt to continue the conversation!
7. Light Touch
Touching a guy is a surefire way to get him to notice you. When I am trying to get past a crowd of people in a bar, I usually lightly touch the guys' backs I am trying to pass. This is twofold. Firstly, it lets them know you are trying to get by, so don't step back! And secondly, it gets their attention, because they will turn around to see who touched them. Sometimes they will make a witty comment, or approach you later after you have done this.
These are just a few ways I have gotten guys to notice me at a bar. What other ways work for you when you are trying to get a guy's attention in a bar setting?
Comments
Mooks: good stuff!
Tekylasunrise: Love how I already do this. No article necessary.
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