Be yourself and you will find love! Hello beautiful! If you’re reading this article, you are probably wondering why you didn’t receive a call back after an amazing date that supposedly went well. Or, you are probably driving yourself crazy wondering whether to text first or wait until he sends you a text, only to wait a few minutes to text back because the “rule” books say you shouldn’t seem desperate! Well, I’m here to tell you to breathe in and exhale. Do it again. As you exhale, let go of the constant worrying that’s only meant to drive you further away from yourself. As you inhale, take in an air of confidence and fix the crown that you wear so elegantly upon your head.
Newsflash: There is nothing wrong with you! Stop fretting over the guy who didn’t call back after the first date. He didn’t call back? Good. That’s one less obstacle out of the way and one step closer to your Mr. Right. Rather than feel he was turned off by something you said or did, consider that you were just too much woman for him, and he wasn't prepared to take on the requirements of attending to a queen.
Listen, what I’ve come to realize is that there are far too many dating books on the market that preach to women what WE are doing wrong in terms of dating. Does this sound familiar?
“Never text first."
"Let him text you first because men like to chase.”
“If he didn’t call you after the first date, it’s because you mentioned marriage and children.”
“Don’t reveal your feelings to a guy too soon because it may turn him off.”
“Wear makeup but not too much makeup, and show your curves without being too sexy or over-the-top.”
Do you notice that this advice points to things women should alter about themselves so that men would find you more approachable, more radiant, more beautiful, more confident, more appealing? It seems we are so caught up in this idea that we need to change parts of ourselves to be more appealing to the opposite sex that we are forgetting the most important part of the equation: ourselves!
Let the real you shine through always. If you are a caring person and you are truly concerned whether the guy you're dating ate breakfast or if he had a good night’s sleep, text him! Ask him how his morning is going. If your teacup Yorkie is the center of your world, text him a picture of your puppy. If you're a humorous, witty girl, text him a meme that made you laugh and see if he shares the same sarcasm. Why hold back something that comes naturally to you because society says it comes off too eager? Chances are while you’re holding back from sending a “Good morning” text to a potential mate because you fear rejection, someone else is sending him a “Good morning” text and he thinks it’s thoughtful! Be yourself! The right guy will appreciate you!
Think about it. Many advice columns inform us that men want a woman who is confident and alluring. If you’re reading the script in your dating life, you won't be confident, but calculated. You will be afraid to twirl your hair because you think you will appear nervous. You’ll hold in that hyena or dolphin laugh because you fear he’ll run away and leave you in the dust. You order a salad rather than the steak that your stomach is growling for. Why? How will you come across someone that will love you for you if you are dating by the books? Believe it or not, the man for you will fall in love with the small quirks that make you who you are! He will fall in love with the way that one stubborn curl falls across your face when you sigh in frustration. He will fall in love with the way your nostrils flare when you laugh. He will fall in love with the way you ramble on about your obsession with Harry Potter. Be you! Don’t let someone amazing miss out on the real you because you are living your life by the books. Be yourself and you will find love.